Well it is finally here!!!! I was reading My Little Life and they are doing “Hot and Healthy Thru the Holidays”. I have decided that since I need motivation to get my ass to the gym and what not that I am going to do this and get moving again!
This week we are supposed to post why doing this will help us.
Well doing this will help me because I need the motivation and since I love a good challenge I am going to want to win so this will give me the motivation that I need!
Not long but I am having a heck of time thinking of things to write!
Well it is finally here!!!! I was reading My Little Life and they are doing “Hot and Healthy Thru the Holidays”. I have decided that since I need motivation to get my ass to the gym and what not that I am going to do this and get moving again!
I have decided that today is worst day of the whole week. It totally sucks!!! I hate how Tuesdays are always just there. There is never anything good about them. I have never had a good Tuesday. Today I am super busy and that always makes Tuesday even worse. I am really close to catching up though so that will be great!!!!!!!! It is hard for me to believe that I am the receptionist and I can be behind. I guess I am an over achiever. I am doing so much here I feel bad for the person that is going to come in and take my spot some day. I think after I am gone the guys will see how much I do. I have been here two years as of yesterday. I can’t believe that I have been here that long. Some days it seems like just yesterday that I started and other days it seems like I have been here for ever. It is weird how time passes and how you just adapt to a job even if you don’t really like it. This job has it’s good and bad points but I am just thankful that I can still work and that I have a job in this economy!
I have given up on the whole losing weight. It seems like no matter what I do nothing really changes so I am just going to do me and to hell with losing weight. I know in time that things will change but I am not going to stress about it or work out all the damn time. I am going to eat in moderation and not deprive myself like I have been because I want to lose weight so bad. I know when I lost it all before I wasn’t doing anything differently than what I have always done. So from now on if I want a soda every now and then I am going to have it and if I want fries I will have them at times. I am tired of eating only good things and not losing anything! So from now on I will eat what I want when I want to eat it! I am done caring about what people tell me to do to lose weight cause none of it has worked for me! I will keep going to the gym when I feel like it but not going to push it if I don’t feel like going. Like tonight I am just going to walk on the river trail after work and call it good. I may go home and do some crutches and lunges but other than that I am not going to do a whole lot. I guess all I need to do is enough to keep active and keep the MS at bay for awhile. I know that I am getting weaker and my only hope is that if I keep working out I will be able to walk and get around with out a wheel chair for a little bit longer!
The cooler weather is making the girls go nuts. This morning I stepped on Sylvia and was worried that I hurt her. So I called home when I got here and Grandma said that she was running and jumping all over the place so I guess she is ok. I hate it when they lay in the hall in the dark cause when I step on them I almost fall and one time I may hurt them but they always lay in the dark in the middle of the hall way. Guess one day they will learn if they get tired of getting stepped on.
Well I am at the infusion center as I type! I found a wireless network! I was super excited now I can surf the web and post to my blog. It gives me so much more to do! I am still in pain from working out on tuesday. It totally sucks ass to still be tired and sore from a work out on Tuesday. Gabe told me yesterday that it will be about a week or so before it all goes away and gets better for me. I hope it isn’t that long i don’t know if Ican manage to be that sore for that long. All I can do is wait and see what happens.
I am super excited for football tomorrow. I am bummed that the U game is so late though. I am not sure if i willl have a tv to watch it on. I will be totally bummed if I can’t watch it. I am excited to see how they will do this week. It should be a good weekend for football thought!!!!!! There is nothing better than a weekend full of football and no drama.
The infusion is going really well this time! It is about time as well. I am glad it is going good so that I am going to be ok at work. I wish I had rest of the day off but I have to start to go to work after them. It sucks but I have to do what I have to do to keep my job. I know I will survive it. I am sure that I will get used to it thought. It is all how I look at it and i am going to be positive about it from now on.
I am in total agony today! It totally sucks to hurt like I do right now. Everyone is telling me go to the gym and walk it out but I know if I go I will just get hurt. So I am going to ignore them and not go until I can walk and not be in pain anymore! I have decided that I totally hate the gym! I am only going because I want to lose the weight. Now that I know a few other things to do I can do them and hopefully lose more weight than I have to this point.
I am so mad at my brother I could kill him! I won’t go into what he did but basically I now get his newest laptop! I am excited because it will save me some money and time. I won’t have to go to Best Buy and get one. I can just pay grandma for it and in 12 months it will be all mine. . . well it will be Josh’s. I know he is excited to get it! He has wanted one for so long. I loaded my Sims 3 on it last night and I am amazed at the graphics on it. I didn’t realize how good the graphics were for the game. So in time I will get me one but I want Josh to have one first. I hope that we will find some money soon so I can get one like the one I am giving to him.
The girls are crazy as ever. It amazes me that they can do some of the dumb things that they do all the time. They are always alive and full of life. Elinore wasn’t outside yesterday when I got home which isn’t like her at all. She was still asleep under the bed. She felt dumb when she came out because she usually is outside waiting for me. I know that when I go to the gym I throw her off though so I can’t blame her at all. She is so cute when she is waiting outside for me. She comes up to the car and if I take to long getting out of the car she will jump in the back seat and sit there waiting for me to get out. Sylvia on the other hand could careless when or if I came home. She doesn’t really care when I come or go but that is how most cats are anyways can’t blame her for that all.
Hopefully Josh will be getting a load out of Springfield today. He had two loads yesterday that got cancelled on him. That is really rare too. I think only one other time has he had a load get cancelled on him. I can’t even imagine how mad I would be if two loads got cancelled on me in one day. It always sucks getting stuck somewhere because the loads keep getting cancelled. I know he hates to be sitting but I know he likes Springfield so I am not sure if he was mad or not about having to sit there. You never know with him though.
It is my infusion tomorrow so I am kind of excited for that. I am hoping it will get my MS in check and make me not as tired. This last week since it has worn off has totally sucked. It has been a long time since I have been this tired and in this much pain. I am so tired of it all. I wish I could be healthy and not have to worry about things anymore. I am tired of being to sick to go out or do things. It is sure getting old that is for sure. Oh well guess this is what God wants me to do and complaining about it won’t fix or even help the situation. I just need to deal with one thing at a time and hope in time things will be better and they will find a medication and works and won’t make me sick.
EVER HAD ONE OF THOSE DAYS WHEN YOU ARE TOTALLY DONE AND CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE DRAMA AND PROBLEMS? WELL TODAY IS ONE OF THOSE DAYS FOR ME. I AM READY TO GO HOME CRAWL IN BED AND PULL THE COVERS OVER MY HEAD AND TRY AGAIN TOMORROW! FROM THE MINUTE I GOT UP TO NOW THE DAY HAS JUST GOTTEN WORSE FOR ME. THE MS IS REALLY BAD TODAY AND I AM SUPER SORE FROM THE GYM YESTERDAY. IF IT ISN’T ONE THING ITS TEN THINGS. I CAN’T WAIT FOR MY INFUSION ON FRIDAY BECAUSE I HOPE IT WILL STOP ANYMORE DAMAGE FROM HAPPENING AND HOPEFULLY WE CAN SAVE MY LEGS. THE WORST PART OF IT ALL IS NO ONE HAS TIME OR WANTS TO TAKE THE TIME TO LISTEN AND BE THERE FOR ME. MY GRANDPARENTS ARE TOO WRAPPED UP IN THERE LIVES AND MY LITTLE BROTHERS LIVE TO CARE ABOUT ME. JOSH IS IN SPRINGFIELD AND I DON’T BOTHER HIM WHILE HE IS THERE. SO YA LOOKS LIKE IT IS JUST ME LEFT TO FIGURE THIS OUT AND HOPE FOR THE BEST. THERE ARE VERY FEW DAYS THAT I REALLY WANNA DISAPPEAR BUT TODAY IS A BIG ONE OF THOSE. I FIND MYSELF SITTING AT MY DESK FIGHTING BACK TEARS AND I AM NOT EVER SURE WHAT THE TEARS ARE FOR THIS TIME. IT JUST SUCKS TO FEEL ALL ALONE IN THIS BIG SCARY WORLD! MORE THAN EVER NOW I NEED TO GO HOME AND BE WITH MY GIRLS! THEY ARE THE ONLY THING THAT MAY MAKE ME SMILE BUT I AM EVEN DOUBTING THAT RIGHT NOW. I AM AMAZED AT TIMES HOW GREATLY MY EMOTIONS SWING FROM SIDE TO SIDE LATELY. I HAVE STARTED TO WONDER IF THE MEDICATION IS WORKING OR IF I AM JUST HAVING A REALLY ROUGH PATCH RIGHT NOW.?.?.? I GUESS ONLY TIME WILL TELL WHAT IS GOING ON.
WELL I GUESS IT IS TIME TO TELL THE REST OF THE STORY OF WHAT HAPPENED ON MONDAY. SO I TOLD JOSH SUNDAY NIGHT THAT WE WOULD DISCUSS WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MORNING BECAUSE I WAS TIRED AND WAS GOING TO BED. SO ON MONDAY WE TALKED ABOUT IT AND HE SAID HE WAS SORRY AND KNEW THAT HE HAD MESSED UP. SO I HOPE THINGS HAVE CHANGED AND IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN BUT YOU NEVER KNOW WITH MEN. I AM HOPING FOR THE BEST THOUGH. ALL ANYONE CAN DO IT HOPE THAT PEOPLE REALLY CAN CHANGE AND BELIEVE THEM WHEN THEY SAY THAT THEY HAVE REALLY CHANGED. I AM GOING TO STAY POSITIVE ABOUT THE WHOLE THING AND HOPE FOR THE BEST.
YESTERDAY WAS GRANDPA’S 71ST BIRTHDAY! I AM AMAZED THAT HE IS THAT OLD ALL READY. TO ME HE DOESN’T SEEM THAT OLD. I HAVE WORKED WITH PEOPLE IN THE NURSING HOME THAT ARE THAT AGE AND THEY ARE SO MUCH WORSE OFF THAN HE IS! IT MAKES ME HAPPY THAT HE IS STILL UP AND AROUND EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THAT IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE HE ISN’T ABLE TO DO MUCH ANYMORE. I HOPE THAT DAY IS STILL YEARS OFF BUT I AM NOT CRAZY AND I KNOW IT COULD BE ANY DAY NOW. I WILL KEEP PRAYING THAT IT WILL BE A LONG WAYS OFF.
MY GAME IS A LOT OF FUN AGAIN! IT IS NICE TO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO DURING THE DAY TO ENTERTAIN ME WHEN I AM WATCHING MOVIES AND WHAT NOT. IT IS A VERY SIMPLE YET FUN GAME. SINCE I AM PEOPLE PHOBIC IT IS EASIER FOR ME TO PLAY THIS GAME AND NOT HAVE TO GO AROUND PEOPLE LOL. I KNOW IT ISN’T THE SAME BUT IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I AM HAVING SOCIAL INTERACTIONS THAT IS FOR SURE!
I STILL CAN’T GET OVER THE BYU WIN ON SATURDAY! IT WAS AN AMAZING GAME AND I AM SUPER EXCITED FOR FOOTBALL SEASON THIS YEAR. I HAVE DECIDED THAT I AM GOING TO WEAR PURPLE BECAUSE I LIKE BOTH TEAMS THIS YEAR! IT IS GOING TO BE A GREAT FALL THAT IS FOR SURE!
SO THANKS TO MY LITTLE BROTHER I AM NOT ADDICTED TO HERO’S. I HAVE A LOT TO WATCH THOUGH BEFORE THE NEW SEASON STARTS ON THE 22ND. IT IS GOING TO TAKE ME FOREVER TO WATCH ALL 4 SEASON BUT I AM CLOSE TO BEING DONE WITH SEASON ONE. I WATCHED IT ALL WEEKEND WHILE I WAS PLAYING MY GAME. I HAVE TO HURRY AND HOPE THAT I MAKE IT! I KNOW I WILL AND IF NOT I WILL HAVE MY BROTHER DVR IT FOR ME SO WHEN I AM READY I CAN WATCH THEM ON HIS TV AND GET ALL CAUGHT UP!
THE GIRLS MUST HAVE ATE CRAZY PILLS THIS WEEKEND BECAUSE THEY WERE TOTALLY BEING GOONS ALL WEEKEND LONG! THEY NEVER WANTED TO STOP PLAYING. SYLVIA WAS DOING THE WHOLE CRYING THING WHILE I WAS IN THE GARDEN WITH GRANDMA. SHE WOULDN’T WALK OUT THERE! AFTER I GOT DONE LAUGHING AT HER I WENT AND BROUGHT HER OUT. WHILE I AM OUTSIDE THEY NEVER LET ME GET OUT OF EYE SHOT FROM THEM. IT IS FUNNY TO WATCH TWO CATS FOLLOW ME AROUND THE YARD. THEY ARE TOO MUCH AT TIMES THAT IS FOR SURE. I WOULDN’T TRADE THEM FOR ANYTHING IN THE WORLD THOUGH. THEY ALWAYS KNOW WHEN I NEED TO SMILE OR A PICK ME UP AND THEY DO SOMETHING CUTE!
WELL I WENT TO THE GYM ON SUNDAY! I WAS SUPER PROUD OF MYSELF FOR GOING ON SUNDAY. I THINK I AM STARTING TO LOSE INCHES! I HAVEN’T WEIGHED MYSELF BUT THE LAST TIME I DID WAS DOWN TO 160!!!!! I HOPE THAT I AM REALLY LOSING IT NOW. I AM WORKING HARD AT LOSING IT NOW AND I HOPE MY HARD WORK WILL START TO PAY OFF SOON!
HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT LABOR DAY WEEKEND! HAVE A FUN AND SAFE MONDAY!
WELL I WAS TOTALLY NOT IMPRESSED LAST NIGHT WHEN I WATCHED THE UTES PLAY. THEY REALLY REALLY SUCKED TO SAY THE LEAST. I HATE IT WHEN YOU EXPECT GREAT THINGS AND YOU GET LET DOWN. OH WELL HOPEFULLY THEY WILL GET BETTER THIS COMING WEEK NOW THAT THEY KNOW WHAT THEY HAVE TO WORK ON. I WAS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH UTAH STATE THOUGH. YOU HAVE TO GIVE THEM PROPS FOR HOW HARD THEY PLAYED AND HOW THEY STUCK WITH THE UTES. AT TIMES THEY EVEN MADE US WORK FOR IT. THERE WERE A FEW TIMES THAT I WAS SCARED THAT THEY MIGHT ACTUALLY WIN BUT WE PULLED OUT A WIN RIGHT AT THE END.
I DID GO THE GYM LAST NIGHT AND WALKED FOR 15 MIN’S AND RODE THE BIKE FOR 30 MIN’S. I AM SLOWLY WORKING UP TO A LONGER WORK OUT. AT SOME POINT I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE THE WEIGHT MACHINES SO THAT I CAN LIFT WEIGHTS TOO. WE WILL WORK UP TO THAT POINT THOUGH. I AM NOT SUPER EXCITED TO USE THE WEIGHT MACHINES BUT IT WILL BE GOOD FOR ME AND HELP ME LOSE MORE WEIGHT.
I AM SUPER EXCITED THAT IT IS FINALLY FRIDAY!!!! IT HAS BEEN A REALLY LONG WEEK AND I AM IN MUCH NEED OF A BREAK THAT IS FOR SURE. I HAVE BEEN SUPER BUSY ALL WEEK LONG AND I AM SO GLAD THAT TOMORROW IS SATURDAY AND I DON’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING! I CAN JUST SIT AROUND AND DO A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING. IT IS ALWAYS NICE TO JUST RELAX AFTER A LONG WEEK AT WORK. THIS WEEK HAS BEEN SUPER STRESSFUL AS WELL SO I AM GLAD THAT IT IS ALMOST OVER.
MY NEXT INFUSION IS ON FRIDAY SO I AM STARTING TO GET REALLY REALLY TIRED AND THAT ALWAYS SUCKS MAJOR ASS. I HATE IT WHEN MY INFUSION WEARS OFF AND I AM BACK TO BEING TIRED ALL OF THE TIME. IT SUCKS TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS AND KNOW THAT THE MEDICATION MAY NOT BE WORKING ANYMORE. I HATE IT WHEN I AM SPENDING SO MUCH MONEY ON IT AND IT MAY NOT WORK. OH WELL GUESS TIME WILL ONLY TELL WHAT HAPPENS WITH ME AND THE MEDICATION. I DON’T KNOW THAT IT IS WORTH IT ANYMORE. WE WILL GIVE IT SIX MORE MONTHS AND SEE WHAT THE NEXT MRI SAYS. IF I AM STILL GETTING WORSE THEN I AM GOING TO STOP TAKING IT AND WE WILL SEE WHAT THE DOCTOR WANTS TO DO FROM THERE.
FOOTBALL STARTS TODAY!!!!! I AM SUPER EXCITED IT IS FOOTBALL SEASON AGAIN. IT CAN NEVER COME SOON ENOUGH THAT IS FOR SURE. I CAN’T WAIT FOR TONIGHT GAME AGAINST THE AGGIES. EVEN THE BYU GAME THIS WEEK SHOULD BE GOOD! I HOPE BYU CAN AT LEAST STAY CLOSE TO OKLAHOMA AND THAT WE DON’T GET TOTALLY EMBARRASSED BUT THE CHANCES OF US GETTING EMBARRASSED ARE REALLY HIGH. FOOTBALL SEASON ALWAYS MAKES ME HAPPY THAT IS FOR SURE. I WISH THERE WAS FOOTBALL ALL YEAR AROUND AND NOT JUST FOR A FEW MONTHS A YEAR.
THIS WEEK HAS BEEN CRAZY FOR ME THAT IS FOR SURE. IT TOTALLY SUCKS THOUGH. I FEEL LIKE I HAVEN’T HAD TIME TO EVEN BREATH THIS WEEK. YESTERDAY WAS REALLY BAD AND IT WAS ALSO REALLY REALLY BUSY! I DON’T KNOW THAT I HAVE EVER BEEN THIS BUSY BEFORE OR AT LEAST IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I HAVE BEEN THIS BUSY AT THIS JOB. I SO TIRED OF WORKING SO MUCH AND MY BACK STARTS TO HURT ABOUT NOON CAUSE I AM ON MY FEET SO MUCH. IT TOTALLY SUCKS THAT IS FOR SURE BUT IT HAS TO BE DONE IN ORDER TO MAKE MONEY AND STAY CAUGHT UP. I KNOW ONCE I GET CAUGHT UP I SHOULD BE OK IT IS JUST THE ACT OF GETTING CAUGHT UP THAT IS SLOWLY KILLING ME. OH WELL SUCH IS LIFE I GUESS I WILL SURVIVE THIS THAT IS FOR SURE. I GUESS I NEED TO LOOK AT IT LIKE AT LEAST I AM NOT BORED LIKE I USUALLY AM. AT LEAST TODAY I HAVE THE TIME TO UPDATE MY BLOG WHICH ALWAYS MAKES FOR A BETTER DAY!
JOSH IS GOING TO BE IN SPRINGF IELD THIS WEEKEND. IT SHOULD BE INTERESTING TO SEE HOW HE ACTS WHILE HE IS THERE. I AM AT THE POINT THAT I AM NOT GOING TO WORRY ABOUT TALKING TO HIM. I FIGURE HE WILL BE TOO BUSY FOR ME ANYWAYS SO I AM NOT GOING TO STRESS IF I DON’T TALK TO HIM. I WILL HAVE THINGS TO DO ON SATURDAY AND SUNDAY TO KEEP ME BUSY AND IF HE CALLS COOL IF NOT OH WELL. I MAY BE HURT BUT I WON’T LET HIM SEE THAT SIDE OF ME. HE JUST WON’T KNOW THAT HE HAS HURT ME. NO REASON TO LET HIM KNOW THAT. I KNOW IF HE READS THIS HE WILL KNOW BUT OH WELL. THIS WILL SHOW IF HE HAS REALLY CHANGED OR IF HE IS JUST PRETENDING TO CHANGE. HE KNOW WHAT HE HAS TO DO THAT IS FOR SURE. SO WE WILL ALL WAIT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS THIS WEEKEND. I DIDN’T EVEN TALK TO HIM AT ALL ON TUESDAY. HE WAS SLEEPING MOST OF THE DAY I GUESS. THE WEIRD THING IS I WOULD USUALLY GET HURT BUT I DIDN’T EVEN REALLY CARE. I LIKE TO TALK TO HIM BUT I AM NOT GOING TO STRESS IF I DON’T GET TO TALK TO HIM CAUSE HE IS SLEEPING OR TOO BUSY FOR ME. IF HE WANTS TO TALK TO ME HE KNOWS THE NUMBER AND WHERE I AM AT.
THIS WEEK I WANTED TO GO TO THE GYM MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY WELL LETS SAY THAT IT DIDN’T HAPPEN. TUESDAY WAS A JOKE OF A DAY AND I RAN OUT OF TIME AND THEN YESTERDAY MY BACK HURT SO BAD THAT I DIDN’T WANNA GO AFTER WORK. I JUST WANTED TO GO HOME. I AM GOING TO GO TONIGHT BEFORE THE UTAH GAME AND I WILL GO FRIDAY NIGHT. I AM GOING TO TRY AND GO SATURDAY BEFORE THE BYU GAME SO THAT I HAVE GONE 4 TIMES THIS WEEK. NEXT WEEK I AM GOING TO TRY AND GO MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY AGAIN. I HOPE THAT I SUCCEED AT IT NEXT WEEK. I AM JUST FINDING THAT ONCE AGAIN I AM LOSING THE MOTIVATION TO GO. IT SUCKS GOING ALONG ALL THE TIME AND NO ONE HAS A PASS AND EVEN IF THEY DID HAVE A PASS I DOUBT THE WOULD GO WITH ME. IT ALWAYS SUCKS TO ALWAYS HAVE TO GO ALONE. OH WELL THOUGH THAT IS LIFE I GUESS. I WILL SURVIVE IT! I GUESS I NEED TO FIND THE MOTIVATION FROM WITH IN BECAUSE NO ONE REALLY MOTIVATES ME. SO I AM JUST GOING TO FORCE MYSELF TO GO EVERYDAY DURING THE WEEK. AT SOME POINT I HAVE TO START LIKE IT A LITTLE BIT I WOULD ASSUME. IT MAY TAKE A YEAR BUT I KNOW AT SOME POINT I HAVE TO START LIKING IT! I WILL KEEP GOING UNTIL I REACH THAT POINT!
THE GIRLS HAVE BEEN OK LATELY. THEY ARE ALWAYS CRAZY THAT IS FOR SURE. THE LAST COUPLE OF MORNING ELINORE HAS BEEN ALL SORTS OF CRAZY. I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT CAT PLAY SO MUCH. SHE IS RUNNING, JUMPING AND DIVING AROUND. SHE IS STARTING TO ACT A LOT LIKE SYLIVA THE CRAZY CAT! I AM GLAD THAT SHE IS FINALLY HAPPY AND SECURE ENOUGH TO PLAY AND HAVE FUN. IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME TO GET HER TO THE POINT SHE IS AT NOW. IT IS ABOUT TIME THOUGH THAT SHE GOT TO THIS POINT!
SO I WAS SO PISSED YESTERDAY MORNING! I TRIED TO TURN MY RADIO ON WHILE I WAS GETTING READY AND IT DOESN’T WORK ANYMORE. SO NOW I HAVE TO TURN ON THE TV TO GIVE ME BACK GROUND NOISE. IT TOTALLY SUCKS. I HATE HAVING THE TV ON AND I MISS LISTENING TO 97.1 IN THE MORNINGS. I HATE THAT I HAVE HAD TO CHANGE MY ROUTINE BECAUSE THE THING DECIDED IT DIDN’T WANNA WORK ANYMORE. I AM NOT EVEN SURE WHAT HAPPENED WITH IT. ALL I KNOW IS IT ISN’T VERY OLD AND IT REALLY PISS’S ME OFF! I HATE NOT LISTENING TO THE RADIO. I AM THE KIND OF PERSON THAT ALWAYS NEEDS BACK GROUND NOISE WHENEVER I AM DOING ANYTHING. I HATE IT BEING TOTALLY QUIET! GUESS I HAVE TO BUY A NEW ONE ASAP. TIME TO START LOOKING FOR A NEW CLOCK RADIO!
WELL I GOT THE BRIGHT IDEA TO CUT OUT CAFFEINE ON FRIDAY. SO STARTING SATURDAY I HAD NO CAFFEINE. WELL NEXT TIME…OH WAIT THERE WON’T BE A NEXT TIME…I WON’T START ON THE WEEKEND. I WILL WAIT AND START ON WEDNESDAY THAT WAY I WILL HAVE A WEEK TO GET OVER THE HEADACHES BE CAUSE HAVING A HEADACHE ON MONDAY MORNING ALWAYS SUCKS ASS. TODAY HAS BEEN SO SLOW BECAUSE OF MY HEADACHE AND THE PHONES HAVE BEEN GRATING ON MY NERVES THE SOUND OF THE RINGER ON THE PHONE IS ENOUGH TO MAKE ME GO ALL WWF ON IT. OK NOT REALLY BUT I REALLY WANNA TURN IT OFF.
THIS WEEKEND WAS AN OK WEEKEND. I DIDN’T REALLY DO ANYTHING BUT THAT IS OK BECAUSE I DIDN’T REALLY WANNA DO ANYTHING. I AM FINDING THAT I AM REALLY STRUGGLING WITH LIFE ANYMORE. I AM NOT SURE WHAT BUT I AM FINDING THAT NOTHING REALLY MAKES ME HAPPY ANYMORE. I HATE IT WHEN I FEEL LIKE THIS BUT I KNOW IN TIME IT WILL ALL PASS. I KNOW CAN SEE WHAT PEOPLE IN MY FAMILY GO THROUGH AT TIMES. IT DOESN’T MAKE IT ANY EASIER BUT IT SURE MAKE ME FEEL NOT SO ALONE.
JOSH AND I ARE GETTING ALONG REALLY WELL AND I HOPE BY SAYING THAT THAT I AM NOT JINXING US. GUESS IF IT DOES OH WELL NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT. I CAN SEE THAT HE REALLY IS TRYING TO CHANGE AND THAT IS ALL I CAN ASK OF HIM. I AM TRYING AS WELL AND I HOPE HE CAN SEE THAT WITH ME AS WELL.
WELL I HAVE DECIDED THAT I AM GOING TO GO TO THE GYM MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY AND TAKE SATURDAY AND SUNDAY OFF. THE WEEKENDS ARE TOO HARD FOR ME TO GET MY BUTT MOVING AND DRIVE THERE. SO I AM GOING TO TRY AND GO MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY AND REST ON THE WEEKENDS. WE WILL SEE HOW LONG THAT LAST THOUGH. I AM REALLY TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT THIS TIME SO I HOPE IN TIME THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO SEE SOME PROGRESS. I HOPE THAT TIME COMES SOON! I AM GOING TO KEEP TRYING BECAUSE EVERYONE SAYS THAT I WILL SEE THE RESULTS IT WILL JUST TAKE AWHILE.
THE GIRLS ARE BEING THEMSELVES LIKE ALWAYS. I DON’T KNOW THAT I HAVE EVER OWNED CATS LIKE I HAVE NOW. THEY ARE TOTALLY CRAZY. YOU CAN NEVER PREDICT WHAT THEY ARE GOING TO DO FROM MINUTE TO MINUTE ANYMORE. THEY WILL DO SOMETHING SO DUMB AND TOTALLY CATCH YOU OFF GUARD ALMOST ALL THE TIME BUT THEY ALWAYS MAKE ME SMILE THAT IS FOR SURE.
WELL IT HAS BEEN A WILD WEEK TO SAY THE LEAST. I AM SO GLAD THAT THE WEEK IS OVER AND I AM HOPING THIS WEEK WON’T BE AS EVENTFUL AS LAST WEEK WAS. IT JUST SEEMED LIKE IT WAS THINGS AFTER ANOTHER. I HATE WHEN I HAVE WEEKS LIKE THAT. IT SEEMS LIKE IT TAKES ALL YEAR TO GET THROUGH 5 DAYS. I ALSO AM REALLY STRUGGLING WITH BEING HAPPY. I KNOW I AM DEPRESSED BECAUSE I DON’T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. IT IS SO HARD TO FEEL LIKE THIS AND STILL TRY AND FUNCTION AND TO HIDE IT FROM EVERYONE. I KNOW MISTI NEEDS ME RIGHT NOW AND I AM TRYING TO BE THERE FOR HER. I JUST HOPE THAT I AM DOING A GOOD JOB AT RIGHT NOW. I AM SURE TRYING HARD BUT I DON’T KNOW IF I AM DOING ALL THAT I CAN DO FOR HER. I KNOW THAT I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS FUNK THAT IS FOR SURE.
I FEEL SO BAD FOR MISTI. I WISH I KNEW WHAT TO DO TO HELP HER OUT. I AM NOT GOING TO BLOG ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT ISN’T MY PLACE AND IT ALSO IS MY NEWS TO TELL. I JUST HOPE THAT SHE REALIZES THAT SHE DESERVES BETTER THAN WHAT SHE IS GETTING. I KNOW THAT SHE KNOWS THIS BUT I ALSO KNOW HOW MUCH SHE LOVES HIM. I KILLS ME TO SEE HER STRUGGLE LIKE SHE HAS BEEN STRUGGLING THIS LAST WEEK. I KNOW IF SHE JUST GIVES IT TIME THE PAIN WILL PASS. I JUST HOPE SHE CAN STICK IT OUT UNTIL THE TIME DOES HEAL IT.
I HAVE BEEN WORKING OUT AT LEAST 3 TIMES A WEEK AND I STILL AM NOT GETTING ANYWHERE! I AM SURE GETTING TIRED OF IT THAT IS FOR SURE. I HAVE FINALLY CUT OUT SODAS AND CHIPS. I KNOW DON’T HAVE MUCH THAT I LIKE TO EAT BUT IT IS TIME TO BECOME HEALTH AGAIN AND WORK ON MY WEIGHT. I AM HOPING THAT BY CUTTING OUT THE SODAS I WILL BE ABLE TO START TO LOSE WEIGHT. WE WILL SEE BUT I AM HOLDING OUT HOPE THAT I AM ON THE RIGHT TRACK AND IT WILL START TO COME OFF SOON. I AM GOING TO THE GYM IN THE MORNING AND I AM GOING TO TRY AND GO TO THE GYM 4 TO 5 TIMES A WEEK FROM NOW ON. I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THE CARDIO CINAMA THOUGH. IT IS SO MUCH COOLER AND LESS STRESSFUL FOR ME. I KNOW THAT THE PEOPLE IN THERE ARE WATCHING THE MOVIE AND NOT STARING AT ME. SO IT IS SO MUCH NICER FOR ME. I AM GOING TO TRY AND TALKING MISTI INTO GETTING A GYM PASS WITH ME SO THAT I DON’T HAVE TO GO ALONE ANYMORE.
I PLAYED THE SIMS 3 ALMOST ALL DAY LONG. BEFORE I COULD SAVE ALL THE PROGRESS THAT I MADE THE LAP TOP SHUT OFF! I WAS SO PISSED OFF. WHEN I TURNED IT BACK ON I HAD TO RESTART AND RE-DUE ALL THE STUFF THAT I HAD WORKED ON ALL DAY LONG! IT IS SURE ALOT OF TIME TO RE-DUE IT ALL BUT I DID IT AGAIN AND THIS TIME I SAVED IT EVERY HALF HOUR SO THAT IF IT DID THAT AGAIN I WOULDN’T LOSE AS MUCH. THE FAMILY THAT I AM PLAYING NOW JUST HAD TWIN BOYS SO NOW THE HAVE 4 KIDS! I CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHY IT IS SO ADDICTING FOR ME. I WISH I KNEW CAUSE I AM SURE THAT I WILL PLAY IT MOST OF THE DAY TOMORROW AS WELL/
JOSH AND I ARE GETTING ALONG WILL WELL. I THINK HE REALLY HAS CHANGED AND IF HE HAS I KNOW WITH OUT A DOUBT THAT THIS MARRIAGE WILL WORK OUT. I KNOW THAT BEING MARRIED ISN’T EASY AND THAT WE HAVE IT HARDER BECAUSE OF HIS JOB. I AM WILLING TO PUT IN THE WORK THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE AND I GET THE FEELING THAT HE IS AS WELL. IT IS NICE TO NOT FIGHT ALL THE TIME LIKE WE USED TO. I FEEL LIKE THE JOSH THAT I MET AND FELL IN LOVE IS BACK AND THAT IS A REALLY GOOD THING. I HOPE HE STAYS THE WAY HE IS NOW AND NEVER GOES BACK TO HOW HE WAS TOWARDS THE END OF THINGS.
THE GIRLS ARE LOVING LIFE. IT IS ALWAYS NICE TO SEE THEM HAPPY AND CONTENT IN WHATEVER THEY DO. THEY ARE LOVING THE WEATHER AND THEY LOVE TO BE OUTSIDE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. I THINK THIS WINTER IS GOING TO BE QUITE A SHOCK TO THEM. THEY ARE GOING TO MISS GOING OUT AT NIGHT AND DURING THEY DAY. THEY ALSO ARE GOING TO HAVE TO USE THE LITTER BOXES AGAIN AND I AM SURE THAT IT WILL PISS THEM OFF. THEY HATE USING THEM NOW THAT THEY REALIZE THAT THEY CAN GO OUTSIDE IN THE DIRT. OH WELL THEY WILL GET USED TO IT THAT IS FOR SURE.
SORRY THAT THIS POST IS SO LONG BUT IT IS HARD FOR ME UPDATE IT DURING THE WEEK SO I TRY AND DO IT ON THE WEEKENDS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT WEEK AND HAS A GREAT SUNDAY!