Martha Beck – Quote Of The Week

This week’s quote is by Martha Beck.

What do you think of this week’s quote by Martha Beck?

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Adoption Thoughts-Judging

Adoption Thoughts

This week for adoption thoughts I am going to write about something that was said to me that made me sad for many reasons but I also wanted to see how other people would feel if this was said to them.  A few weeks ago I had a friend who adopted her first child tell me that she felt like I judge her because of her parenting and that she bet I was glad that I didn’t place my daughter with her.

First off I don’t ever judge anyone and their parenting choices because they are doing what they know and just because my parenting choice was different than theirs doesn’t mean that mine was right and that their choices are wrong or vice versa.  All I know about parenting is that the choice I made was right for me and my daughter other than that as long as you aren’t abusing your kids I don’t care the choices you make for your family.

Now on to when she said that she bet I was glad I didn’t place my daughter with her.  I am glad I didn’t place my daughter with her because my daughter wasn’t meant for her or her family.  She was meant to be where she is.  If my daughter had been meant for her than that is where I would have placed her but she wasn’t.  Like I said before I don’t judge anyone on their choices and if I had to go through it all again I know I would place my child where she was meant to be and it wouldn’t matter who those people were.

One thing that has always bothered me about mothers is how they are always judging each other.  Being a mom is a hard job so instead of judging we should be helping each other.  I have always said that I wouldn’t want to raise kids in today’s world so I know I would have any children but if I do change my mind I would want help from people who have done it before me.  I always get sad when I mom’s attacking each other because of choices they make for their family.  You may not agree with someone’s choices but that doesn’t make the wrong and that is no reason to judge them or bully them.  This post went somewhere I didn’t think it would but I am going to leave it because it is true and something I think needs to be said.

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One Choice

I want to start out by saying that this post is all over because I really struggled with finding the words to say what  I am thinking.  I hate that  I can’t find the right words to say what I am thinking but this is as good as it is going to get.

There is one choice that I have made in my life that changed the course of my life.  I look back now and it amazes me that once choice can change the whole path of your life.  The choice that changed my life was when I got pregnant.  Had I not gotten pregnant I would be a RN right now and probably working on getting my Masters in nursing but I am no where near there.  I also am so glad that I am I did get pregnant because I has turned me into who I am today.  I may not be where I thought I would be job wise but I am where I need to be in so many other ways.  By getting pregnant and placing my daughter for adoption I know just how strong I am and I know I can do anything that needs to be done no matter how hard it seems at the time.  I can’t even imagine how different I would be if I hadn’t been through what  I have been through.  At the time I thought that my life was over and that it was the worst thing that could have happened.   In the end it was just what I needed in life.  I am such a better person since I have gone through everything the past 7 years.  I can’t even imagine what I would be like if I hadn’t been through everything.

I have learned so much and I also know so much more about myself and what I can deal with.  I now know that I can pretty much deal with anything and get through anything that is put in front of me.  It is amazing to me how life can be so different from what you thought it would be and yet I know that this is where I am meant to be.  I know that I was meant to go through what I have because with out going through everything I never would have learned how the world works.

Before I got pregnant I didn’t know how cruel the world can be and the struggles that others go through.  Going through the adoption process opened my eyes to the struggles of others and how things are in rest of the world.  I have found that as much as I love nursing I feel that I am meant to work in the adoption world.  I guess when it comes down to it that by getting pregnant it made me grow up and has made me into the person I am now.

What is the one choice that changed your life?

Mama’s Losin’ It

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