I wanted to do another post in my adoption thoughts series because I haven’t done one in awhile. If you want to read any of my past posts in this series, you can click here to check them out. This post is going to be about how hard this year has been since I
July 7th will mean that eleven years has gone by since I placed my daughter for adoption. I can’t believe it has been that long since I had her. I have found myself thinking more and more about her this year, and I think that is because I had to put Alley Cat to sleep earlier this year.
I have always said that Alley was my replacement baby, and now that she is gone I can’t stop being taken back eleven years. There are some days that it seems like it all just happened a few days ago. I can still remember all the feelings and how I felt the moment I handed her off to her parents.
I feel like I just can’t wait for this year just to be over so that I won’t have to think about it anymore. Even as I type that, I know that just because her birthday passes it won’t just go away. I know that only time will make it not hurt as much, and I hate waiting for time to pass because it seems to take forever.
There isn’t anything that I want to say other than that I am struggling with everything this year. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up until the middle of July. I know that it won’t make it better or make it hurt less, but I hope that by getting the thoughts out of my head and written down will help me deal with it all. That is all I have to say, and I am hoping to have another post about adoption up on her birthday.