Archives for October 2009

Well Elinore finally made me make her a blog.  So now she will be posting to her own blog whenever she can find the time between her naps.  This means that there will no longer be Fursday post.  If you would like to keep up with her and what she is up to here is the link to her blog. 
http://myfurryblog.blogspot.com/
I won’t be censoring what she says so if you are easily offend I don’t know that you should read it.  Sylvia will also be making appearance on Elinore’s blog as well!

http://theworldasiseeitbloganddesigns.com/well-elinore-finally-made-me-make-her/

Fursday

Well it is finally Fursday!!!!  I wait all week for my day to post!  Lets see this week has sucked.  On Sunday night I left Mom a present!  I was a perfect hair ball.  She didn’t seem to excited and she was cleaning it up though.  I mean it was a great gift if you ask me!  Oh well one day she will come to love them.  The other cat is being a bratt and won’t let me eat all of her food.  I mean come on I was here first and they never give me any so she should let me eat hers and just shut up about it. Like I said last week I would be happy if that cat disappeared and never came back again but Mom won’t let this happen!  Anyway back to me because it is always about me. I am mad at Mom because she won’t let me sleep on my thrown anymore.  The thrown I speak of is Mom’s pillows and her head.  Lately she has been taking a dim view of me sleeping on her head while I am purring and giving her a bath in the middle of the night.  Personally I think this just shows how much I love her but I guess she doesn’t see it that way!  Oh well I am going to keep trying because I know in time she will give up the fight and I will win! 
That is all for today!  Hope everyone has a great Fursday.

Pain

All I can say today is I hurt!  I am not sure what is going on with it either.  I hate days like today that is all I can do to function because I am in so much pain.  I wish I knew why I have gone through so much and I am still suffering.  Why does one person have to go through so much and have so much in life to deal with?  Will it ever reach a point where I am not suffering like I am right now and like I have in life. I am really struggling with the “why me’s” right now.  I really wish someone out there knew why and that I could see that it all works out in the end.
I wish I had the confidence to go into what happened and what not but I am scared to let people in like that.  Maybe one day I will be confident enough to share and let people in.  I guess because of my past I am super guarded and I don’t want to have to deal with people that might be mean or rude in some way.  I am very aware of how people are and that I don’t want to  have people try and tell me how I am feeling is wrong.
Well that is enough of that pitty party.  Thank you all for reading and following my blog.  I also want to thank you all for all the comments.  I love reading them!

20!!!!!!

I have 20 followers!!!!!!  I wanna do a happy dance!  I feel so loved!!!  Thanks for following me!!!!!!!

Totally Stressed

This week has totally sucked and I am so ready to pull my hair out.  It seems like nothing is going right.  Just when things started to look up for me they always seem to take turns for the worst.  I am trying to keep my head up through it all but it never seems to get better no matter how hard I seem to try.  I mean just when I was going to be able to buy a lap top for myself I went and wrecked my car.  Now I owe my Grandparents $500 dollars and I am never going to be able to get a lap top.  Right after the accident my health insurance decided to be stupid and now I trying to deal with and keep all the new bills straight.  I am being billed for things that I have already paid or things that they need to pay.  Who knew that insurance companies could suck as bad as this one does.  It seems like they like to create problems and then play stupid when I call them for the 100th time.  I also amazes me how papers and notes just disappear.  I wish I could make my bills just disappear like the insurance company makes notes and papers disappear.  I am going to have to work on figuring out how they do it so that I can do it for myself.
Work is also really stressful and I am left wondering everyday if I am going to have a job the next day.  It is starting to get scary and I know my time with the company is probably coming to an end.   I really have no idea what I will do if I am to lose my job.  I know that unemployment will take care of me for awhile but I don’t know if that will be enough to keep my head above water until I can find a new job.  I guess all I can do is wait and hope that it doesn’t happen and if it does that I will be able to find a job quickly.
I know this post is basically just me bitching but I need to get things off of my chest and write how I feel.  This blog is therapy for me and if you don’t like it then don’t read it!  Ok don’t do that but just leave rude comments or what not.  I can handle that.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Update

It seems like I has been forever since I have posted anything about me so we will see what I can do about updating everyone to what is going on with me.  I am sick and frustrated with the world.  Not only am I sick I am also PMSing which is never a good combo for me or for other people that I am around.  They will learn one day that I am not very nice when I am sick let alone when I am getting ready to start.  I was so out of it I didn’t even really watch football hence the reason I didn’t post about football yesterday or Saturday.  I watched parts of it on Saturday but I couldn’t get into it so I didn’t bother watching it all.  Then yesterday when I wanted to watch football the Colts had a bye week so they weren’t playing.  Oh well there is always next week to watch football and my Colts play next week so I will have more football to watch.
The girls are being there usual balls of energy.  Sylvia was literally up all day yesterday so she only got up to eat this morning and then went right back to bed.  She does that all the time where she will stay up for a whole day and then sleep for next three days only getting up to eat and go to the bathroom.  I will never figure her out that is for sure.  Then again they are cats no one will ever figure them out.  I decided this weekend that dogs are cats that have down syndrome.  Ok it was funny at the time but not so much now as I type it.  I hate dogs!!!!!!!  Anyways now that I got that out of the way lets see what else have the girls been up too…other than Ellinore throwing up for the whole weekend.  Other than that it was just a great weekend with the girls!  Lol
Since I have been sick I really haven’t done much so there isn’t much to really say about the last week.  All I know is I have been swamped at work so I haven’t had much time to write and there hasn’t been a lot to say.
So I hope everyone had a great weekend and has a great Monday.

Football Weekend & My Trip To The Lovely Town Of Fillmore

Well Saturday was filled with a lot of driving and two football games.  I took Misti to Fillmore to pick of Ron’s dog Coco.  Ron’s baby’s mom had taken her and was going to take care of her but it didn’t work out so we had to drive and meet her half way.  It was a totally long drive and needless to say it really hurt my back and I wasn’t excited to make the trip.  Thank god that the dog was really good for the most part but that is a hell of a long drive just to turn around and come right back home.  I am not complaining because it had to be done but it still was super long and lets just say my car isn’t the most comfortable car when it comes to long drives.  This was the first long drive since my accident and the car still rides great!  Now if I could only make the seats more comfortable.  I guess any car has it good and bad points to it.  Over all it could have been even long and a worse trip that what it was.  One time I really wanna to drive to Las Vegas and take a weekend off there.  I know this probably won’t ever happen but I am going to keep dreaming about it to happen!
Now for my football games.  Lets just say they both one but the Utes didn’t do that well at all.  They need to find a quarterback that doesn’t get as shaken as theirs does when he misses a throw.  I am sure with time he will become a great quarterback but it is hard watching them struggle like they do.  BYU end up winning their game I think the score was like 59 to 21.   Today my Colts play so I will post an update tomorrow on that game!  I have decided that I love football and I hate when they are playing football!  It makes me happy to watch it and to see my times win.  This is the reason that I watch the Colts play!!!! He is a great player and used to play for the Y.

Very Down

I was told today that I am a negative person.  I know at times I can be but I don’t think I am always negative.  Now this isn’t the first time I have been called this by different people.  So I am starting to wonder if I really am a negative person and if I really am is there anything wrong with that?  I know at times it isn’t a good thing and in those times I try and be positive.  I just feel like no matter what I do someone is mad or says how I am feeling is wrong.  I love being told that I wrong about something or that my opinions are wrong.  I have wondered a lot the past couple of days is being me is some how wrong and if I should change to be something that I am not.  Do I need to be a totally fake person in order for people to like me?  Or should I not let people get to me and keep being me? I am really stuck right now trying to figure out who I am and what I am doing.  I feel all alone in this world.  I feel like I have never really had anyone that cared about me.  Everyone that has said they care have at some point kicked me when I am at my lowest.  Today was no different to say the least.  I am finding that I am just going to go back into my shell and not come out anymore.  I seem to let people in and all it does is end up hurting me.  Now that isn’t to say that at times I may bring in on myself but I try and be positive and what not and hell at times I just can’t be.  I know I am like I am because of my childhood and I just wish that people could understand that.
I am at the point that I am typing this because I really have no one to talk to about it.  People just don’t seem to get me and maybe it will be better for society if I just go away and leave the world alone.  Now I would never kill or hurt myself but I am good at going into my shell and just tuning the world out.  Most days I do that anyways and I see now why I did that.  I have had more ups and downs since I have let people in than I have ever had before in my life.  I think I am done letting people in and letting people hurt me. 
I guess I am out of things to say.  Sorry if this hurt anyone’s feeling just voicing how I feel right now!

Thurday Update. . .

It has been a super long week to say the least.  It seems like this week has been pure hell for me!  Nothing has gone right I feel lost and confused to say the least.  I am still depressed and I am not sure why I am feeling this way still.  I guess it is just my brain hating me. 
I got to go and get my car yesterday!!!  I was excited to get it back and able to see and make sure that they fixed it right for me.  Now it was nothing but a hassle when I showed up to get her.  First off she wasn’t ready yet and to top it off the issue with the insurance company hadn’t been resolved yet.  So I had to pay more than my deductible.  Now I have to see if I will really get reimbursed for the extra amount I had to pay.  I am doubting that I will ever see that money again.  The body shop does great work but the are lacking in the customer service to say the least.  So I was really frustrated with them for not having my car done and making me pay more than what I should have but that is life I guess.  You can’t even tell that it has been wrecked so that is nice.  At some point I am going to have the whole thing repainted to cover up the scratches that are on it.
Work has been a joke all week long.  We have been super busy and it seems like I can’t get anything do at all.  I keep trying but once I get one project done I end up getting five more.  I haven’t been this busy in a very long time.  I hate it when  I can’t get things done it makes it super stressful for me but I guess at some point it will all get done.  I am trying not to stress about it anymore.  I will just do what I can get done and not worry about the rest of it anymore.
The girls are all sorts of confused on the weather and why it is so cold out there.  I wouldn’t let them go outside yesterday when I got home and they were pissed off to say the least.  Oh well the will get over it soon enough.  They have to eat a lot more to put fat on for the winter or they won’t be going outside at all during the winter.  I know they will start eating like crazy and put on some more weight.  I love when they are little pigs during the winter time.  The look so cute when the put on a little bit extra weight.  I am sure Sylvia doesn’t have to put much on because of all the damn fur that she has.