Matt Cameron – Quote Of The Week

This week’s quote is by Matt Cameron.


I have used several quotes over the past month about being positive, and I have done that because I think too many people only focus on the negative.  I find that I also get caught up in the negative parts of my life, so I am trying every day to find the positive things about the day and focus on those things.  I find that I have to take a few minutes every couple of hours and remind myself of the positive things in my life.  I know if I do this long enough it will become second nature and I won’t have to work so hard it.

What do you think of this week’s quote by Matt Cameron?

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Joseph Campbell-Quote Of The Week

This week’s quote is by Joseph Campbell.

Joseph Campbell

I really loved this quote when I saw it because it is so true.  When I think about the people who are hero’s to me they tend to be soldiers or cops who in the end lost their lives because they were protecting everything that I love about this country.

What do you think of this weeks quote by Joseph Campbell?

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Lots Of Thoughts

Lots Of Thoughts

I was going to write something for the writers workshop but instead of doing that I am just going to write some of the thoughts that I have had over the past little while so that I can get them out of my head.  I am sure they won’t make much sense but I will try to explain a bit about what and why I am thinking them.  Anyway I am just going to make a list of them so you can just skim them if you want to.

  • The main thing that has been on my mind for the past few months is how both of my parents can write off their own children & families.  I have seen that I can do the same thing but I don’t think I could do this to my daughter when she grows up and wants to meet me.  I will never truly understand how they can and how I can just turning feelings off for a person and never look back.  I do think of people again but not enough to make me seek them out.  I just keep on going on and while I kind of understand that with friends I have no idea how a parent can just stop caring about their child.
  • The next thing that has been on my mind is why people still lie because let me be honest like the quote I posted on Monday people can’t remember all lies they tell so they always get caught.   My dad told a few lies about me last year or the year before and since I found that out I have no need to have him in my life.  I am sure he will end up alone and sad because he just can’t seem to tell the truth and he hasn’t figured out that he always get caught when he lies.  There have been more lies told by him than I could ever list so now I just assume everything he says is a lie.
  • I have wondered if two people can be so connected that without having talk to each other for 3 plus years that you still know when they are struggling and when they need you or someone to lean on.

Those are the three things that I have been on my mind for that past few months and I hope now that I have written them down that maybe I can stop thinking about them as much.

What has been on your mind?

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Updates: Doctors Appointment, Multiple Sclerosis, and Everything Else

Updates

I had a doctors appointment on Monday June 8th and I wanted to write a short update about that appointment and also an update about how I have been feeling lately.  I also decided as I was writing this post that I wanted to include just a general life update because  I am truly struggling with things right now.  I can’t tell everything that is bothering me but I will tell what I can and maybe I will still write what is going on and password protect those posts and if you want to check them out you can email me and I will give you the password for them.  Anyway lets get on to the MS update because that is the easiest and quickest part of this post.

As I said before I had a doctor’s appointment Monday afternoon with my neurologist.  I hadn’t had an MRI or anything since I saw her last but she does like to see me every so often because of the medication I am on and things like that.   I haven’t been feeling the greatest lately but there is nothing that can really be done about that because I just don’t feel well.  My headaches are getting bad again which totally sucks because I went so long without having them or at least not having super bads one.  I know that the reason I am having them is because of allergies and also just the stress of life.  I have an MRI in August and I don’t have to see the doctor again until December so that will be nice.

Now on to the life crap that I am willing or able to talk about.  I have no idea where to start or what I even want to say.  I guess the first place to start is with the fact that the daughter I placed for adoption will be 10 this year and I am honestly not sure where the time went.  It has also been a hard year this year when it comes to dealing with the adoption and I am not sure why this year has been so hard for me.

Another thing that has been hard for me this year is family things and usually I don’t really care what goes on with family members but this year that has changed for me.  What is funny about it all is that what I am sad about didn’t even happen this year and to be honest I am not sure why it is now bothers me like it is.  I am sure it is because of everything else going on that is making all the little things in life that usually don’t affect me hard for me to deal with right now.

Anyway that is all I can think of right now so I am going to leave it like this.

How are things going for you???

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Abraham Lincoln-Quote Of The Week

Quote Of The WeekThis weeks quote is by Abraham Lincoln and it talks about living your life while you are alive.

Abraham LincolnI loved this quote when I saw it because I know it is true.  I think as we get older we forget to live our lives and not just exist.  I find myself getting stuck with just going day by day and not really enjoying or doing anything other than existing.  I now try to take a step back and try to live in the moment but I can be and is hard to do.

What do you think about this quote?

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I Learned

I Learned

This week for the writers workshop I am going to write about  1.) Share something you learned in February.  There are quite a few things that I learned during the month of February.  The biggest thing I learned during February was that you should never take a day for granted because you never know when it will be your last day.

The company I work for had one of the ladies in our accounting department pass away suddenly and that made me realize that I need to stop taking every day for granted.  I have noticed that for the last few years I have just taken for granted that tomorrow is another day but I came to realize this month that I can’t take that for granted anymore.

Another thing I learned this month is how much time sucks.  I say that because I always hear that time will heal and let me tell you that time hasn’t really healed anything.  I wrote about how I am feeling this month about placing my daughter if you missed that post you can click here to check it out.  I had hoped that at almost 9 years later I still wouldn’t be struggling with placing her.  I know that I will never forget but I had hoped that it would get easier with time and it hasn’t gotten any better.

Those are a couple of things that I have learned during the month February.

What did you learn during February?

Mama’s Losin’ It

If you would like to join in this week here are the prompts.  Also after you write your post make sure you click here and link up your post.

1.) Share something you learned in February.
2.) Top 6 Favorite people to follow on Pinterest.
3.) Update your readers on your 2014 goals. How are things going? Are you staying on track or facing some challenges?
4.) Describe the most vivid dream you can remember.
5.) Your least favorite subject in school.

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Quote Of The Week-Robert Frost

Robert Frost

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Changes Over The Last Year

Wow this past year has changed me in so many ways. I can’t even imagine where I would be if my life hadn’t changed that much.  I am going to write about the changes over the last year for me and some of the people in my life. All the changes has been so good for me and also for the people that are in my life.

It was this time last year that they let Misti go at work. I still remember the day they let her go like it was yesterday even though I still wish that is was just a bad dream and that I could wake up for it. I don’t know that it will ever be the same here without her being here. It is even harder to wrap my head around the fact that she has had a baby and is now a mother.

Also anyone who has followed my blog from the start will know that my daughters birthday is coming up and that always makes it a tough time of year for me. I am finding that this year is going to be harder than some of the past years have been. It is always hard to gauge how a year will be for me but I think this is going to be hard for me.

Well that was quite the tangent so lets get back to the post. Other than those things I am still pretty much blogging about the same things. I really haven’t changed what I blog about because I have always just blogged about my life and for the most part my life doesn’t change that much.

How has the past year been for you?

Mama’s Losin’ It-Changes over the last year

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Ways to Cope With Placing Your Child For Adoption

I placed my daughter for adoption in July of 2005.   I attend a support group for unwed mothers that the agency I was going to had.  Not everyone in the group was placing for adoption but I learned so much from the girls that have placed and listening to what worked and didn’t work for them.  I figured that I would share some of the things that worked for me and things that may work for other birth parents.

Before I get into them I was researching some things on adoption and I found this article.  While I reading through article I found this paragraph and I really liked what it said.  I am going to post it here because I think it speaks volumes about how birth parents are looked at by people who don’t understand are choices.  Here is the paragraph:

Most people at some time in their lives experience grief when they are separated from a loved one. However, in adoption, there are no standard grieving processes or approved rituals to help birthparents cope. When a well-liked co-worker accepts a new job in a new city, there is often a going away party. When a loved one dies, there may be a religious service, a wake, a funeral, and visits to the survivors’ home by friends and relatives. But birthparents’ grief is distinct from most other types of grief, because it is not always socially acceptable to talk about what happened.

Now on to the ways I coped and ways that others have coped with the greif.

  • Journal-I wrote out why I placed her in a journal that I then gave to the adoptive mom to give to my daughter when they thought she was ready to read it.
  • Talk to other birth moms-It helped me tons to be able to talk to other girls who had been though it and could tell me that it would get better with time.  I never thought the first year would end but each year it gets easier at least it has for me.
  • Take one day at at time-There are time where You are going to have to take it minute by minute but know that time will heal the pain.  At first the pain is so raw that it is all you can think about but it does get easier I promise.
  • Build a support system-I helps to have people who know the whole story and whither or not they agree with your choice they will still stand behind you and listen to you talk.  There will be times that just talking to someone and having them not try to answer but just listen helps so much.  It makes such a difference to just get the thoughts out of you head and have someone not feel the need to try and make it better but just listen.
  • Allow yourself to feel the emotions-I know in the beginning I wanted to run from the emotions I was feeling and not feel anything but by doing that you are going to be making it harder in the long run.  Allow yourself to feel and grieve.
  • Keep Scrapbooks and/or pictures around-If you were to walk into my room right now the only pictures I have up are the ones of her when she is older.  In the beginning looking at the pictures made me feel better but after the first year and even know it is so hard for me to look at the pictures of her while we were in the hospital because I want the baby.  I heard from one of the girls in the support group that her child became two different people in her head even though she knew they were the same.  She like me wanted the baby and not the child that she is now.
  • If you need help ask-Don’t be too afraid to talk to a counselor if you are having a hard time deal with all of the emotions.  I saw one quite awhile after I placed my daughter and that helped me so much.

When I think of more ways I am for sure going to post them and if you know of any other ways to cope please leave a comment so that I can add it to my next post.

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You Haven’t Seen The Last Of Me

Some of you will know that I love music.  I always have it on at work in the background and I usually have it on at night when I am designing or surfing the web.  I always seem to have songs for everything that I have gone through or are going through.  When I was pregnant the song “Welcome To My Life” by Simple Plan was how I was feeling.  Every time I hear that song now it brings back all of the memories and feelings I had when I found out I was pregnant.

Right now the song that describes how I am feeling is by Cher from the movie “Burlesque”.  It is called “You Haven’t Seen The Last Of Me”.

I love this song right now because I feel defeated.  There is a lot going on right now that I won’t get into but this song says how I feel right now.  Like the song says you haven’t seen the last of me.  I will get through everything that is going on and I will come out on top!

Do you have songs that explain certain parts of your life?

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