This has been a super hard post to write. I think this has been the hardest post I have had to write so far. I have been working on it on and off for months now and I keep erasing it. I just can’t seem to find the right words to write what I want to say. I know how I feel about the subject and what I am trying to say I just can’t get it written down right. This subject got brought up because I have such strong feeling towards child molesters and people don’t understand why I am trying to let go of the hate for the person that hurt me. Some people think that I am a hypocrite because I hate people that hurt children but I am still trying to let go of the hate I have been holding for the person that hurt me. I have come to realize that hating people does nothing to the person you hate. All it does is poison your soul and make you an angry hateful person. Now that being said it doesn’t mean letting go of hate is an easy thing to do. I have a few people that I “hate” and I am not sure if I will ever be able to forgive them for what they have done. I hope one day I will be able to but I can’t be sure if I will or not.
One of those people is Josh my husband. I know I need to let go of the hate I have for him but it is so much easier said than done. I know me being angry and hurt over the fact that he had to pick Christmas day to leave me isn’t doing anything to him. He gets to go on with his life and it doesn’t affect him. He probably doesn’t even think about it. It is so hard for me though because every year the pain comes back. I wish there were some way to erase the pain so that I could get past it. I am hoping in time I will be able to forgive him but I am not going to make any promises.
I hope that this post makes sense to everyone. I am sure that I will post about this topic again!