Elbert Hubbard-Quote Of The Week

Quote Of The Week

This weeks quote is by Elbert Hubbard.

Elbert Hubbard

I loved this description of what a friend is and it is something that I agree with 100%.  What does being a friend mean to you?

What do you think of this quote?  What quotes are you loving right now?

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2014 Margaret Margaret

Lonely

Lonely

I wrote a few months ago or so about my divorce being final and how it made me feel.  I said in that post that I am okay being single which is totally true but I also get lonely.  Now just because I get lonely doesn’t in anyway mean that I am not okay with being single.  In fact I would rather be lonely than be in a relationship.

I guess I need to explain what I mean when I say I am lonely.  I look at everyone in my life and they all have a significant other in their lives and I wonder from time to time if I am missing out.  These thoughts usually come at night when I should be sleeping.  Even though I get these thoughts from time to time I in no way have the desire or energy to try and find someone to date.

I don’t think it matters how happy you are being single you will still have days where you wish you had someone else in your life.  I also am lonely because I don’t have many friends in my life.  Now most of that has to do with me and what I have decided I want in my life.  I went through the people in my life last year and cut out the people who I knew needed to be out of my life.  I didn’t write about it here because I wasn’t ready and I am still not ready to talk about it.  I honestly don’t know if I will ever be ready to talk about it and I also won’t put other people’s business out there on my blog.

Anyway this post was more for me to get thoughts out of my head than for anyone else.  I also have a post coming up this week about how I feel about dating and how I hard it is to meet people in this day and age.

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2013 Margaret Margaret

Respect

Respect

My brother had his gallbladder out on Sunday and I wanted to write about something here because I see a lack of it respect for choices that others make regarding their own bodies and/or lives.  I love people sharing information with me but I get tired of people trying to push their views on me and others.  Everyone makes different choices because everyone is different.

For example I know now my doctor doesn’t totally agree with some of my choices but she has left it up to me.  She tells me her opinions and what she would do if she was me.  I have seen a lot this going around and it upsets me because everyone makes choices based on their own lives and their own situations.

This doesn’t have to do with just health things but anything going on in people’s lives.  I have stopped sharing most things on Facebook because I get tired of people judging and/or trying to push their views on me and my other friends.  I came to realize while I was pregnant what it feels like to be judged and I try my hardest not to judge anyone.  I know that we all judge people on some level but I do my best to keep in check because I know how it felt to be judged and it is an horrible feeling.

I have friends in my life that I don’t agree with their choices but I do respect them and I also allow them to live their lives as they see fit.  There is no way that everyone in the world will agree with what you do or how you do it but people need respect their choices.

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2013 Margaret Margaret

Changes From Last Year To This Year

Changes

This week for the writers workshop I am going to write about what was going on this time last year and what I think of it all now that it is a year later.  I went through the whole month of April and I really only wrote 5 actual posts.  The few other posts I had were reviews of some sort. Here is a list of the posts from last year if you would like to go back and check them out.  I also will list any changes in how I am thinking from last year to this year.

  • My MS Medications- all of my medication are basically still the same and since I am stable there is no reason to change them or to even mess with them.
  • Standing Still- I forgot that I wrote this post last year and to be honest I still feel like I am standing still but I also feel like I am all alone and I know that is because of how I have treated people.  There are parts of this post that are still true and other parts that aren’t because I really don’t have any friends anymore.
  • MS Tuesdays Medications That Don’t Work For Me- nothing has changed with this post because nothing has stopped working for me.
  • How To: Break Your New Cell Phone- lets just say I haven’t broken a phone since this post and I better not break my iPhone or I am going to be pissed.
  • My Top 10 YouTube Channels- this has changed so much so I am going to make another Top 10 because I have some new ones and I think everyone would like.  I still like all the ones I listed but there are some newer ones that I want to share with everyone.

How has your blogging changed from last year to this year?

Mama’s Losin’ It

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Changes Over The Last Year

Wow this past year has changed me in so many ways. I can’t even imagine where I would be if my life hadn’t changed that much.  I am going to write about the changes over the last year for me and some of the people in my life. All the changes has been so good for me and also for the people that are in my life.

It was this time last year that they let Misti go at work. I still remember the day they let her go like it was yesterday even though I still wish that is was just a bad dream and that I could wake up for it. I don’t know that it will ever be the same here without her being here. It is even harder to wrap my head around the fact that she has had a baby and is now a mother.

Also anyone who has followed my blog from the start will know that my daughters birthday is coming up and that always makes it a tough time of year for me. I am finding that this year is going to be harder than some of the past years have been. It is always hard to gauge how a year will be for me but I think this is going to be hard for me.

Well that was quite the tangent so lets get back to the post. Other than those things I am still pretty much blogging about the same things. I really haven’t changed what I blog about because I have always just blogged about my life and for the most part my life doesn’t change that much.

How has the past year been for you?

Mama’s Losin’ It-Changes over the last year

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2012 Margaret Margaret

Quote Of The Week-Silly Friend

I love this quote because I know that laughing and being silly with friends will definitely make your day and life better!

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2012 Margaret Margaret

Ways to Cope With Placing Your Child For Adoption

I placed my daughter for adoption in July of 2005.   I attend a support group for unwed mothers that the agency I was going to had.  Not everyone in the group was placing for adoption but I learned so much from the girls that have placed and listening to what worked and didn’t work for them.  I figured that I would share some of the things that worked for me and things that may work for other birth parents.

Before I get into them I was researching some things on adoption and I found this article.  While I reading through article I found this paragraph and I really liked what it said.  I am going to post it here because I think it speaks volumes about how birth parents are looked at by people who don’t understand are choices.  Here is the paragraph:

Most people at some time in their lives experience grief when they are separated from a loved one. However, in adoption, there are no standard grieving processes or approved rituals to help birthparents cope. When a well-liked co-worker accepts a new job in a new city, there is often a going away party. When a loved one dies, there may be a religious service, a wake, a funeral, and visits to the survivors’ home by friends and relatives. But birthparents’ grief is distinct from most other types of grief, because it is not always socially acceptable to talk about what happened.

Now on to the ways I coped and ways that others have coped with the greif.

  • Journal-I wrote out why I placed her in a journal that I then gave to the adoptive mom to give to my daughter when they thought she was ready to read it.
  • Talk to other birth moms-It helped me tons to be able to talk to other girls who had been though it and could tell me that it would get better with time.  I never thought the first year would end but each year it gets easier at least it has for me.
  • Take one day at at time-There are time where You are going to have to take it minute by minute but know that time will heal the pain.  At first the pain is so raw that it is all you can think about but it does get easier I promise.
  • Build a support system-I helps to have people who know the whole story and whither or not they agree with your choice they will still stand behind you and listen to you talk.  There will be times that just talking to someone and having them not try to answer but just listen helps so much.  It makes such a difference to just get the thoughts out of you head and have someone not feel the need to try and make it better but just listen.
  • Allow yourself to feel the emotions-I know in the beginning I wanted to run from the emotions I was feeling and not feel anything but by doing that you are going to be making it harder in the long run.  Allow yourself to feel and grieve.
  • Keep Scrapbooks and/or pictures around-If you were to walk into my room right now the only pictures I have up are the ones of her when she is older.  In the beginning looking at the pictures made me feel better but after the first year and even know it is so hard for me to look at the pictures of her while we were in the hospital because I want the baby.  I heard from one of the girls in the support group that her child became two different people in her head even though she knew they were the same.  She like me wanted the baby and not the child that she is now.
  • If you need help ask-Don’t be too afraid to talk to a counselor if you are having a hard time deal with all of the emotions.  I saw one quite awhile after I placed my daughter and that helped me so much.

When I think of more ways I am for sure going to post them and if you know of any other ways to cope please leave a comment so that I can add it to my next post.

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2012 Margaret Margaret

Blogger Cliques

I was looking through Kludy Mom’s Idea Bank and saw this topic: Do you feel there are blogger cliques? And if so, where do you fit in?  When I saw it I knew I had to write about it because I do think that cliques happen in the blog world just like they happen in real life. I blogged for about a year before I started to find other blogs to read.  I of course found some of the big blogs when I was starting and I loved them but then drama started between one group of them and another group.  I stayed out of it and wasn’t sure what they were really arguing and fighting about but when I happened I literally stopped reading all of their blogs because I hate dealing with drama and crap that reminds me of high school.

As most of you know I am slowing starting my own design business and I have seen that there are also cliques in the design world.  I really have tried to stay out of them because I just don’t play that game and I also want to be friend with everyone.  I do have a really great friend who taught me all I know and is still around to help and give me advice.  Other than her I don’t really talk to other designers because I refuse to deal with drama and cliques.

I really just don’t see the need for cliques because as bloggers would should all support each other.  Drama of it all just gets old!

What do you guys think of cliques in the blog world?

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2012 Margaret Margaret

You Haven’t Seen The Last Of Me

Some of you will know that I love music.  I always have it on at work in the background and I usually have it on at night when I am designing or surfing the web.  I always seem to have songs for everything that I have gone through or are going through.  When I was pregnant the song “Welcome To My Life” by Simple Plan was how I was feeling.  Every time I hear that song now it brings back all of the memories and feelings I had when I found out I was pregnant.

Right now the song that describes how I am feeling is by Cher from the movie “Burlesque”.  It is called “You Haven’t Seen The Last Of Me”.

I love this song right now because I feel defeated.  There is a lot going on right now that I won’t get into but this song says how I feel right now.  Like the song says you haven’t seen the last of me.  I will get through everything that is going on and I will come out on top!

Do you have songs that explain certain parts of your life?

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Dear Melissa

As you all know one of my best friends passed away on Sunday.  I have tried many times to write this post and I have never been able to get words down on the screen.  I have really struggled with this because it was such a shock to me.  I was orginally going to write about what I love about her but I have decided that I am going to write a letter to her so that I can tell her everything that I never got a chance to do while she was alive.

* I am not going to get into what happened and other things that are going on as a result.   I know Melissa would want me to keep living and let go of anger and hate.

Dear Melissa,

I miss you more and more everyday.  I wish that you would have called me and let me know you were so down so that I could have helped you.  I am writing this because I want to tell you and all my readers what I learned from you in the short time I knew you.

  • I learned how to be a better writer.  You wrote posts that made people think and I hope that one day I can become as good as a writer as you were.  Every post you wrote for my blog and even your own blog made me think and contemplate things in my own life.  It takes an amazing writer to make people realize that they need to make changes in their lives just because of something you wrote.
  • I learned not to ever let people treat me bad.  I saw what happened to you and I refused to let people do that to me.  I show the toll it took on her and I don’t ever want people to control me.
  • I also learned that admitting you have a mental illness is nothing you need to hide.  It was great to see that I can blog about things and there are people out there that won’t judge me and will understand.   You are part of the reason I wrote my adoption story and started to post things that make me vulnerable.  I guess I hope one day I have people come to my blog like you had going to yours!
  • I learned to look for join in the little things in life and how to deal with what life throws at me.

I will never forget you and everything you taught me.  I promise that I will live the rest of my life for the both of us!  I know I will see you again and I can’t wait til that day comes.

I love you,

Margaret

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