This week I am going to write another post in my adoption thoughts series. This post is going to be about my current thoughts on people telling me “I could never do what you did” and “You are so strong”. There are times when hearing these things don’t really bother me and I will just say thank you to them but then there are times like right now when hearing both of these things just get on my nerves.
When people say “I could never do what you did” it usually leaves me just staring at them because how do you really respond to something like that. Up until recently I haven’t really said things back to anyone but now I almost always say “unless you have been in the same situation you don’t know what you would be able to do”. I know people just say this because they don’t think they could do it but I didn’t think I could do it either until I was in the situation. I never thought that placing a baby for adoption was something I could handle but once I was pregnant with her I knew without a doubt that it was something that I had to do. I mean who grows up thinking that they are going to give birth to a child and then place that child for adoption.
Now when people tell me I am so strong this quote always pops into my head:
Being strong is always relative to the person. Like the quote says you won’t know what you can do or how strong you are until you have to face it and deal with whatever is happening to you.
I guess the whole thing for me is that I just did what I had to do in the situation that I found myself in. I know in parts of this post I sound harsh but this is how I feel some days and I don’t want to sugarcoat things or make is seem like these things don’t really bother me. I have spent many years not talking about how things make me feel and I don’t want to do that anymore. For the first time I want to be honest with others and even myself.
If there is anything about adoption that you would like me to talk about please let me know and I will work on it for you.