Saying Goodbye. . .

Saying Goodbye

If you missed yesterday’s post, you would know that on the 29th of January I had to put down Alley Cat.  She has been sick for the past couple of years and if you want to know more about that you can click here to go and read that post.  I have to know for years that at some point I would have to say goodbye to her, and I knew it would be hard, but I was in no way prepared for how hard it was.

Because of how people acted towards her at the end of her life I refused to let anyone else come with me.  It was just her and I and now knowing how it all would turn out I think I made the right choice.  They had to give her 3 or 4 shots because she pulled out her first IV, so it didn’t work.  Let’s just say that there was nothing humane about the process.

It was supposed to take a few minutes to work, and it took over 30 minutes to finally take effect.  I sit here now thinking about it all and I can’t help but smile because her whole life she had to fight to stay alive and she gave them a damn good fight at the end.  I wish it would have worked right away, but it wouldn’t have been Alley Cat if she gave in easy.  I know she was sick, and it was the right thing to do, but I feel like I failed her because there is no way that it was painless, and it wasn’t short like they claimed it would be.  I am now left wondering how much she felt and what her last moments were truly like.

The real reason I wanted to talk about this today is that it brought back so many of the emotions I felt when I placed my daughter for adoption, and I wasn’t prepared for that.  I have always said the Alley was my “replacement” baby so instead of getting pregnant shortly after placing my daughter for adoption I went and adopted Alley.  I feel like I just placed my daughter a few days ago, and that is one thing I never wanted to feel again.  It is hard to be brought back right to place I was at 10+ years ago because at this point I would have thought that there was no way I could feel these emotions as strongly as I did then and yet here we are.

In the end, I hope that I don’t have to feel like this for too long because it truly sucks.  I know I will survive this because if I could get through it the first time than I know for sure, I will get through it this time as well.  I will just keep putting one foot in front of the other one and keep going.  I know that it will pass, and I will have good days and bad days but in time, the good days will start to outnumber the bad days.  I will never forget her or my daughter but as time passes you do think of them less and less.

Alley Cat-Last Pic

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Quote Of The Week – Ellen Glasgow

Quote Of The Week

This weeks quote is by Ellen Glasgow.

Ellen Glasgow

I loved this quote when I read it because it is so true for me.  People change all the time but that doesn’t mean that the changes are growth or that they are even good changes for that person.  I also agree with not all movement is forward because lately I feel like I am moving but I don’t feel like I am going forward.  I feel as though I am stuck right now but I am hoping to change that this year and get  back on track to where I want to go in life.  Those are just a few of my thoughts for this week.

Now I want to know what you think of this weeks quote by Ellen Glasgow? Do you agree or disagree?

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10 Favorite Snacks From My Childhood!

10 Favorite Snacks

This was a prompt from the writers workshop a few weeks ago and I still wanted to publish the post.  So the prompt for this post is: make a list of your 10 favorite snacks growing up.  As I am thinking about snacks I loved as a child are mostly candy.  I have found pictures of the things I am talking about so you can see them if you have never heard of them before.

  1. Haribo Gummi Frogs-I loved these are through high school and they are still something that I love to this day.042238472556_1
  2. Haribo Gold-Bears-To me these are just classic candy and something that I love to eat to this day.haribo
  3. Ring PopsEbay_035
  4. Trolli Brite Crawlerstrolli
  5. Pop RocksMain image
  6. Blow Pops4569-DEFAULT-m
  7. Laughy Taffy-the watermelon kind with the seedstumblr_mwfyk4ynK61sbamp3o1_500
  8. Peachie O’s778bb0d99c1b52cabd2ede59179b4a04
  9. Ruffles Cheddar & Sour Cream Chips8264548_orig
  10. GooGoo Cluster Ice Cream22810WFGOOGOOCLUSTER

I just listed junk food snacks because that is what I think of when I think of snacks but I did grow up loving almost all veggies & fruits so I ate tons of them as well.

What snacks did you love as a child?

 

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2014 Margaret Margaret

Two Words

two words

This was a  prompt for the writers workshop or will be this coming week but I really wanted to write about it.  The topic is: If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in just two words.  If I only had two words that I could use I think I would have them say:

Don't Rush

I would chose these words because I was always in a rush to grow up and I wish now I would have just enjoyed being a child and not worried about growing up and how I wanted to be an adult.  I find it funny now as adults everyone say’s not to rush growing up and enjoying being a child but we all know that every child wants to be an adult.  I know when people told me to enjoying being a child I just laughed it off because being a kid seems to suck when you are younger.  I wish I would have enjoyed more of the few good years of my childhood that I had before things changed again and this next phrase is something I wish I could tell my younger self:

It Gets Better

Because I really needed to hear these words while I was in school and recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.  I still remember how hard it was to come to a realization that the MS was never going to go away and in fact it could get worse than it already is.  It is a hard pill to swallow that at a such young age you have a disease that will never go away and you don’t know how it will end up affecting you.

What two words would you write to a younger you?

If you want to be apart of the writers workshop you can click here and find out all about it!

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2013 Margaret Margaret

Cattiness In Women

Women GossipingI have been looking for places to get topics to blog about and I recently found this site that has tons of different topics to write about.  I chose: Talk about cattiness in women.  I chose this one because I work in a building full of men and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Now don’t get me wrong the men I work with drive me crazy to say the least but the don’t have all the drama that women have.  The guys still have their days but for the most part they are 100 times better than women are to work with.

When I saw this topic the first thing that popped into my head was beauty salons.  Some of you may know that I get my nails done so that means I spend a lot of time in a salon.  Let me just saw that the lady I go to now doesn’t have hardly any drama but all the other people I have seen always have drama.  There is always someone talking about someone else.  I can’t figure out why women talk about each other.  I can’t stand listening to all the gossip that goes on at salons or with women in general.

Growing up I didn’t have hardly any girlfriends because I would get so tired of the drama and women will turn on people in a heart beat.  I also didn’t attend church once I got into high school because of all the drama that got carried over from school. I have never been the person to talk about others and I also have never understood why women are always talking about each other.  If I had to guess at a reason I would guess it was women are always so jealous of each other.  We are always seem to be judging each other.  I think women need to build each other up and not knock each other down.   I know if women stopped talking about each other that more women would be okay with themselves and not depressed.

I am sure this post rambled on but it is how the thoughts came to me!

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