Archives for January 2011

Mondays With Melissa – Life Lived With Thoughtfulness

Melissa from Sugar Filled Emotions is back!!!!  She has had a rough few months but she is back posting once a week.  She is also one of the the people who founded WISE with me.

  
We should readjust our priorities to be proud not of how much we get done but what we’re able to achieve with a sense of enjoyment. ~ Alexandra Stoddard
Before my anxiety and depression began I was the chief cook and bottle washer, the taxi driver, and the maid in my family. I had a to-do list that never ended. I constantly felt as if I was overwhelmed, and that there was not enough of me to go around. If I could not get something on my list done, or if I started on it later than I planned, my stress levels increased ten-fold. In an effort to make sure that I could put a check mark next to everything on my daily list I often cut corners. I would not do the best I could on several things in order to complete them as rapidly as possible. There were many days when I got my to-do list done, but I did not feel any pride, or take any joy in what I had accomplished. I equated being super busy to having a fulfilled life. I was placing more value on how much I got done in a day, rather than living with purpose.
Once my depression, and anxiety manifested everything stopped. I did nothing, I valued nothing. When my depression, and anxiety symptoms started to lessen, and I was responding to my therapy, and medications more, it dawned on me how unsatisfied I had been. Despite how busy I had been, I had taken absolutely no satisfaction in anything I had done. When I was ready, I began doing one or two productive things around the house each day. I noticed that when I could accomplish at least one thing a day I had a sense of pride. I also paid attention to the fact that even though it may have been only one thing I had gotten done, I did it with more thought, and care than I used to. I think it was because I did not feel rushed, or that I had to accomplish a whole list of things in one day.
It did not take me long to figure out that I feel overwhelmed much quicker than I used to. Long gone are the days when I could multitask – managing many things at one time. That is a good thing. Instead of focusing on a list of things that MUST be done, I am living my life with thoughtfulness. and purpose. I have discovered that less can really be more not only for me, but for the people in my life as well. I focus my attention on things that really matter – my joy, my achievement of excellence, and what I contribute to other people.
It is as if my brain was a computer that had too many programs running at one time, and needed a reboot. The time when I was so depressed, and did nothing was the period of time when the computer was shut down. Now the computer is back up – fewer programs running, and in better shape. With less tasks for the computer to do, it is more stable, and efficient than it had been before.
At the end of everyday I ask myself a few questions to ensure I stay on the track of a life lived with thoughtfulness:

  • What did I do today that gave me a great sense of satisfaction?
  • What was one thing that I enjoyed doing today – delighted in?
  • What did I do today that was excellent?
  • What is something I did today I am extremely proud of?
  • What did I do today that will have a positive impact on another person?

How do you live your life? Is it filled with the hurry, scurry of a to-do list that never seems to end – often making you feel overwhelmed? Or do you live a life with thoughtfulness, having few tasks to do, but doing them with excellence?

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So Excited!

I am so excited!  Jacqui from Wacky Jacqui Designs has turned the free part of her blog over to me!!!  I am not making and uploading all of the free backgrounds and headers.  I am so excited about this because I have always wanted to get in blog design.  She is also teaching me everything she knows about designing.  I am hoping at some point she will let me join her in the blog design business she has.  This also means that I will be able to design my own blog! 
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What A Fool


Saturday 9: What a Fool Believes
1. What celebrity do you think is the MOST foolish?
I think all of them are total idiots.  I can’t really pick one that I think is the most foolish. 
2. What are 5 things you don’t care about?
Men
Stupid People
People who are rude
People who abuse animals
Men who hit women
3. What ‘issue’ do you think your opinion is so right about that you end up trying to sway others to your point of view?
A lot of them.  I have strong opinions on child abuse and molestation but I don’t really talk about them because I hate arguing with people over them.  NO one will ever change my view on those subjects.
4. What personality do you like to listen to on the radio?
I listen to 97.1 ZHT
5. What culture are you fascinated by?
I am fascinated by all different cultures.  I love to learn about people and what they think and do.
6. You are alone with your lover’s diary. What do you do?
Probably read it because I am nosey and don’t trust men.
7. What frustrates you?
Stupid people!
8. Do you remember the first time you were on the internet? What did you do first?
I can’t remember I know I was in middle school though and it was on AOL
9. What was the biggest fight you have ever had with someone?
I have had lots of fights with people and most of them are pretty big because I am a hot head and don’t have a filter when I am mad.  I always say what I am thinking even if I shouldn’t say it.
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Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse

 I am excited that I am hosting the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse.  I found out about this carnival from one of the Bloggers that has made me realize that I have a voice and can speak about things in my past.  Tracie is an amazing person who is helping many people by talking about her past and what she has gone through.  When I agreed to do this I thought I was ready to share my story with everyone but now that the time has come to write I have found I am not yet ready to share.  I know the time will come.  I am instead going to share a letter that was written by a women that is like one of my mom’s.  She asked me if she could submit it even though she doesn’t have a blog and I said of course.  Here is what she wrote:

Dear Mom and Dad,

Please think about a few things for me. The next time you want to raise your arms to hit me, would you wrap them aroung me tight and love me instead? The next time you want to use your hand to slap me, will you use your hand to tickle me and make me laugh? The next time you want to use your foot to kick me, let’s play footsie under the covers and make each other giggle. The next time you want to use your mouth to yell, scream and say horrible words to me, maybe you could sing me a song or tell me you love me instead. I’m just a little kid who wants to be loved.
Now on to the other articles for this month.
-Advocacy and Awareness

Lyn Harris presents Never Too Young for Child Abuse posted at Lyn’s Circle: Chronicles of a Married Feminist.

Nancy Campbell presents “We Don’t Keep Secrets in Our Family” posted at Away We Go.

-Aftermath
Paul presents Down and Out and Onward and Upward posted at Mind Parts.

Shanyn presents Let Them Fall posted at Scarred-Seeker.
-Healing and Therapy

Kate presents A Fairy Tale « Kate1975’s Blog posted at Kate1975’s Blog.

Hope presents Spell check doesn?t understand DID posted at The Hope For Trauma.

AM White presents Life Experiences; From Survivor to Thriver posted at From Survivor to Thriver.

Leah presents Survivorship, Friendship and Healing posted at Leah’s Life.
-Poetry
Rick Belden presents present time posted at poetry, dreams, and the body


Heart Works presents She Remembers posted at Silence Is Not Golden.
-Survivor Stories

Shah presents Carnival Against Child Abuse – Supporting Survivors posted at WordsinSync
-Art Therapy
 

Paul presents My Self Portrait posted at Mind Parts.

I was so glad I did this.  There are so great articles this time!  I hope everyone enjoyed it as much as I have.

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Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse

I was reading a blog by Tracie and I saw that she was doing this blog carnival and need host blogs.  This is something that is near and dear to my heart because I have gone through it.  I haven’t blogged about this subject on my blog but I am going to post some of my story because I hope that one person will read it and it can help them.  I copied the following from Tracie’s blog.
 
The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse is a monthly event. It’s purpose is to raise awareness about the serious issue of child abuse. All forms of abuse–physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, verbal–are discussed. 

We highlight blog posts, from child abuse survivor stories and their art & poetry, to child abuse as a topic in the news media, as well as PTSD, dissociation and other areas of the abuse “aftermath” that adult survivors are forced to deal with. We link to hopeful posts about therapy, recovery and healing from abuse. All forms of child advocacy and awareness are included.

Many months we have a theme, but no matter what the theme is, we accept submissions for our regular categories:
-Advocacy and Awareness
-Aftermath
-Healing and Therapy
-In the News
-Poetry
-Survivor Stories
-Art Therapy

I am going to need all the articles to me by January 26.  I will be posting all the articles on the 28th of January.  I am not going to have a theme because I can’t think of one.  If you would like to host a month leave me a comment or send a email directly to Tracie at: fromtracie@gmail.com.

You can send them to me at: margaannemarie@yahoo.com.

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Its In The Bag

A Hasty Life

So I am so sorry this is so late getting up.  I went and saw Jeff Dunham last night and didn’t get around to getting it posted.  I found this fun blog crawl on Ashley’s blog.  We are supposed to post a picture of our purse and one or several of what is in my purse.  Then we discuss what is in our purse and what is says about me.  Yesterday it was Trying Our Best turn to host it and tomorrow Julie is hosting.  Go give these ladies some love and here is my pictures with explanations!

 This is what is at the bottom of my purse when you take all of the big stuff out of it.

 This is what the inside of my purse looks like before I take the stuff out.

 This is what I keep all my prescriptions in.  This way they don’t come open and spill all over my purse and they are always super easy to find.

 This are the gloves I where in the mornings that it is below 10 degrees and I have to scrape my car windows.

 This is my pink wallet and I bought when I had a super cute pink purse to match it.

This is the note book I carry around to write down possible blog posts or things I need to remember when I am not at work or at home.

My purse is super messy but I am okay with that.  I has everything that I may ever need.  I hate being out and not having something that I may need.  I always seem to have 100 pens in my purse as well.  I always take my favorite pens home from work so that people won’t steal them.
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H & Day 16

Humor-This is a positive word to me because if you are laughing it always puts you in a better mood.  I know that when I laugh no matter how bad the day has been it will put me in a better mood!

Day 16-My Celebrity Crush
I don’t really have a celebrity crush.  Heck right now I don’t have a crush on anyone.  I am quite content where I am at and I am happy with the fact that I am single and alone. 
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G & Day 15

Goodwill-This word is positive to me because it means that there are people out there that really do try and help other people out.  I always wish that I could do more to help people than what I do but I know that with all of my medical bills and what not that I can’t.
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Day 15-Something I Don’t Leave The House Without.

The one thing that I always have with me when I leave the house has to be my purse.  Lately I have forgotten my cell phone at home a lot so I can’t say that anymore.  My purse is the only thing I can think of that I never leave the house without.
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F & Day 14

Friend-This is a very positive word for me because friends can always make my mood better.  I have 2 great friends that I have never met.  They are the ones that started WISE with me.

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This is a great place to get and get the support that you are looking for.  We are still trying to get it up and running but it would be so great if you would come join us and help support women.
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Day 14- A Show I Am Currently Addicted To.

 I just can’t get enough of this show.  I love Pit Bulls.  I hope one day I will be able to adopt one from her.

E & Day 13

Energy-When I hear that word it makes me happy.  I get even happier when I have energy and I can do things that I want to do without having to worry about getting too tired during the activity.

 For day 13 I am supposed to write about my favorite musician and what makes me like them.  I love all music so I don’t really have a favorite.  I like to many musician to pick just one that I like.
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