Saying Goodbye. . .

Saying Goodbye

If you missed yesterday’s post, you would know that on the 29th of January I had to put down Alley Cat.  She has been sick for the past couple of years and if you want to know more about that you can click here to go and read that post.  I have to know for years that at some point I would have to say goodbye to her, and I knew it would be hard, but I was in no way prepared for how hard it was.

Because of how people acted towards her at the end of her life I refused to let anyone else come with me.  It was just her and I and now knowing how it all would turn out I think I made the right choice.  They had to give her 3 or 4 shots because she pulled out her first IV, so it didn’t work.  Let’s just say that there was nothing humane about the process.

It was supposed to take a few minutes to work, and it took over 30 minutes to finally take effect.  I sit here now thinking about it all and I can’t help but smile because her whole life she had to fight to stay alive and she gave them a damn good fight at the end.  I wish it would have worked right away, but it wouldn’t have been Alley Cat if she gave in easy.  I know she was sick, and it was the right thing to do, but I feel like I failed her because there is no way that it was painless, and it wasn’t short like they claimed it would be.  I am now left wondering how much she felt and what her last moments were truly like.

The real reason I wanted to talk about this today is that it brought back so many of the emotions I felt when I placed my daughter for adoption, and I wasn’t prepared for that.  I have always said the Alley was my “replacement” baby so instead of getting pregnant shortly after placing my daughter for adoption I went and adopted Alley.  I feel like I just placed my daughter a few days ago, and that is one thing I never wanted to feel again.  It is hard to be brought back right to place I was at 10+ years ago because at this point I would have thought that there was no way I could feel these emotions as strongly as I did then and yet here we are.

In the end, I hope that I don’t have to feel like this for too long because it truly sucks.  I know I will survive this because if I could get through it the first time than I know for sure, I will get through it this time as well.  I will just keep putting one foot in front of the other one and keep going.  I know that it will pass, and I will have good days and bad days but in time, the good days will start to outnumber the bad days.  I will never forget her or my daughter but as time passes you do think of them less and less.

Alley Cat-Last Pic

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Elisabeth Kubler-Ross – Quote Of The Week

Quote Of The Week

This week’s quote is by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I  chose this quote because on January 29th I had to put Alley Cat down.  For those of you who are new and don’t know who Alley Cat is here is the last picture I took of her.

Alley Cat-Last Pic

I have a post coming up tomorrow talking more about the entire situation and how having to put Alley down brought back all of the feelings I had when I placed my daughter for adoption over ten years ago.  I am just going to leave this post alone, and I will write more about my thoughts and feelings on tomorrow’s post.

What do you think of this week’s quote by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross?

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Joy

Joy

I am not sure where I saw this topic but since it is the week of Christmas I thought it was a great time to write this post and get it posted.  The topic is: List the top 9 things that bring you joy.  So lets get on to the list.

  1. The first thing that came to mind was my nephew Brycen.  We watch him on the weekends and he always makes me smile.
  2. My cats are the next things that bring me joy.  You never know what cats are going to do so it is always a good time watching them.  It is fun that Brycen now tries to play with them and if he didn’t scream when he gets excited I think they would play even more together.
  3. My grandma always brings me joy because she is always saying or doing things that make me laugh.
  4. Books.  Do I really need to explain this one???
  5. Blogging brings me joy because it always me to share books and other things that I love.  It is also my way of connecting with the outside world.
  6. The fact that I have a job makes me happy-Not because I love my job but because I am lucky to have one in today’s society.
  7. The few friends I do have make me happy because they always make me smile and they aren’t high maintenance like other friends I have had.
  8. The great winter weather we have had so far.  Now I know we will be hurting next summer for water since we have hardly had any snow but I don’t miss having to drive in it during rush hour.
  9. That this year is almost over and a new year will start next week.

So those are 9 things that bring me joy.  What is bringing you joy this year?

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The Cubs-An Update

The Cubs UpdateI don’t know the last time I have done an update on the cubs so since I am trying to have a post each day in November I figured now was a good time to write one.  Alley Cat aka Elinore is also sick and I am not sure how long she will be around so I figured I should write down some memories of her because after she is gone I know I won’t be able to write about her without crying.  If you are new here and haven’t read what I wrote about them before you can click here and check that out.  Anyway lets get on to the updates on the girls.

As I reading this post I realized that I may not have talked about Brycen before on here so if I haven’t he is my brothers son who just turned one.

Alley One

Elinore

Like I said before Elinore aka Alley Cat is sick.  We aren’t 100% sure what is wrong with her because I don’t have money to really do the testing to find out what is going on with her.  The vet thinks it is probably inflammatory bowel disease and/or cancer.  So all we are really doing to treat her is give her cortisone shots about once a month.  Once those stop working though we will have to put her down.  Alley also doesn’t mind being around Brycen which is crazy because most cats don’t like little kids.  She will let him pet her and things like that.

Sylvia

Not much is really going on with Sylvia right now which is a good thing because I don’t think I could handle both of them being sick at the same time and having even more vet bills to pay right now.  Sylvia hates Brycen around her.  She just avoids him and if she does get caught by him she will just growl & hiss at him.  She hasn’t ever tried to hurt him so we don’t have to worry about that with him.  I don’t have any recent pictures of Sylvia so I am going to try and take one tonight when I get home from work so I can post it here.

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Hi, My Name Is . . .

My Name Is . . .

This was a prompt from last weeks writers workshop and I had to write about it because it was such a fun topic and there are tons of things that could complete the sentence.  I think I am going to just list things that I am and then explain why on some of them.

  • Birth Mom-I placed my daughter for adoption when I was 20.
  • Blogger
  • Daughter
  • Mom to two crazy cats
  • Book lover
  • Introvert
  • Person who truly loves to be alone
  • Huge football fan-I will watch pretty much any game but I love the University of Utah & the Baltimore Ravens.
  • Suffer of an invisible illness-Multiple Sclerosis
  • College dropout
  • Blog Designer

Those are just the few things that came first to me.  I know I could go on and on with a list but no one has time to read that.

How would you answer the sentence?

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One Thing Elinore Does That Drives Me Insane!

Drives Me Insane

This week for the writers workshop I choose to write about number four which is: Your pets least likable character trait.  I chose this one because I could literally list several things that she does that drives me up the wall and this is the one thing  that drives everyone in my house insane.

Since I moved back home a few years ago Elinore has started only using the litter boxes to pee in them and not when she poops.  She will go out side of the box in the laundry room and on the rug that we have right next in front of the door from the garage.  I have no idea why she does this and what made her start doing this but needless to say everyone is tired of it.

When she does go outside and go to bathroom she will poop in the lawn but she will only pee in dirt or in a litter box so it isn’t like she doesn’t know what the litter box is for.  She just seems to not want to use it when she poops.  I have googled reasons why she has started doing this but everyone knows with cats you never know why they start to do crazy things.

If any of you have any advice on how to stop her from doing this I would greatly appreciate it.

What is one thing that your pet does that drives you insane?

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Currently. . .

currently

This week I chose to write about number 2 which is: “Currently” a simple list of things you’re currently feeling as seen at Sometimes Sweet.

Reading: Right now I am reading a few different books to review.  Here is a list of a few of the ones I am reading: “The Letters” by Suzanne Woods Fisher, “Defending Wellton” by Kelli Kretzchmar, “Scarred Love” by M.S. Brannon.  I also have reviews coming up for some great books I have read the past few weeks.
Listening to: Right now I am listening to Country music mainly but I also am still loving Celtic Thunder and have been for the past few years.
Thinking about: I am thinking about a lot of crazy things that are going on in my life because I am not sure what is going on and what is going to happen in the next few months.  I wish I could write about the big thing but for now I can’t in respect for the others involved in the situation.
Watching: I am not really watching anything right now because I am not a huge TV fan.  I do love watching Lockup on MSNBC on Saturday nights but the past two weeks it hasn’t been on due to different things going on in the this country.  I also have been loving Dead Files on the Travel Channel.
Bummed out on: Watching people in my life struggling because of choices they made but it still hurts to watch them go through things I went through because they thought it wouldn’t happen to them.
Loving: I have been loving having this bunny is our backyard for the past few days.  We did catch him yesterday but I loved looking out into the background and seeing him there and also watching Sylvia stare at the shed in the backyard waiting to see it because she is interested in it and yet scared to death of it at the same time.

Bunny

Sylvia

 

Mama’s Losin’ It

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Introducing . . .

Introducing

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Today for the Writers Workshop I am going to introduce everyone to Sylvia.  I know I have talked about her on here before but I am going to introduce her and add a few clips of some videos that I have with her in them.

Sylvia is about 6 years old and my grandma is the one who picked out her name.  I already had Elinore when I decided I was going to adopt a kitten and I wanted them both to have “old” lady names.  She has always been a handful and has always hated to be held and picked up.  She is to this day still hates to be held.  While you are holding her she is growling and hissing.

She does have long fur so she gets mats.  Since she hates to be brushed we just brush the mats out when they are little because she will allow us to pet her when she wants to be petted.  When she decides that she wants to be petted you have to drop everything and pet her or she will hiss and run away.

She is the first cat we have ever had that is either sitting still or running full speed.  She doesn’t seem to go anywhere walking well she never used to but she has had to start slowing down because we redid the flooring in part of the house and she slides everywhere if she runs.

Here a few videos of her: The second one shows what she does when she wants to be petted and I try and move her off of me.


She is also scared of pretty much everything and I believe that is because she picked up on everything that Elinore was scared of in the beginning.  Since Elinore was abused before I got her she was super scared of everything and has since started growing out of all of those things but Sylvia is still scared to death of pretty much everything.

That is pretty much all of Sylvia and some of the crazy things that she does.

What crazy things do your pets do?

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Most Important Thing In My Life Right Now

Important

This is a question that was on Band Back Together site a few weeks ago and I am just getting around to writing the post about it.  The question is what is the most important thing in my life.  This was something that was easy for me to answer because I know without a doubt that the most important things to me are my two cats.

I could live without pretty much everything else but I don’t know how I would live without my two girls.  It is crazy to me how much my two cats have become like my kids and are “replacement” kids for my daughter I placed for adoption.  I am not sure people who haven’t placed a child for adoption would understand that last statement and I am not sure how to explain it to make them understand.  I guess the best way to explain it is that when you place your child for adoption you still have the desire to mother something so instead getting pregnant again I got my two girls.

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This is Sylvia

This is Elinore

This is Elinore

What is most important to you?

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Flip-Flops

destroyedThis week for the Writers Workshop there were two prompts that I wanted to write about so I figured that I would just write about one today and the other one on Thursday.  Right now I am going to write about the latest thing that my cat has destroyed.  I am sure most of you know that Elinore was abused before I got adopted her so she tends to have weird quirks.

This is Elinore

This is Elinore

After I had her for about 6 months I got Sylvia and then all of my flip-flops started to look like one of them was clawing them.  For the longest time I thought it was Sylvia because she is the one who has front claws and I didn’t see how Elinore be able to do that to  them since she has no front claws.

After I moved back in with my grandparents my grandma finally caught the cat that was literally destroying any flip-flops that she could find which also included ones that my grandpa kept in his closet.  It was Elinore!!!!!!!!!!!!!  She bites them and then pulls parts of the foam off.  If she find any flip-flops that are on the ground she will chew them up and destroy them.  I can’t even begin to tell you how many pairs I have had to replace because she destroys them.

Here are a few pictures of a few that we just leave on the ground for her to destroy.

IMG_0184c IMG_0186c

 

So as you can see she loves to chew them up.  I find she mainly does it when she is mad at me for some reason or if she got in trouble.  I have started just buying them when they are super cheap at the end of summer and giving them to her.  I find that she likes her old purple on the best and I can always tell when she has been chewing on it because there will be little pieces of purple all over the place in my room.

What is the latest thing you pet destroyed?

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