This post has been harder for me to write than when I posted Brita’s story. I began to get sick when I was in 10th grade. The first really symptom that I can remember is my left leg started to drag. It would just stop working at random times. I can remember in gym class that year we had to run the mile for a grade and I did my best but I was going to fail the class because I could run it fast enough because my leg was dragging. We went to the doctors and lets just say the only reason they did an MRI was because my grandma pushed for it. When that came back they called us in because they needed to talk to us. They said that there was what they call lesions on the brain. They show up as white spots on the brain. They told us that they needed to do a spinal tap to rule out MS.
I can’t believe it is already Thursday. It seems like I just started the week but I am glad it is because I think that I am getting sick. So I hope if I am that I can get sick this weekend so that I don’t have to work and be sick at the same time. All I can do is wait and see what happens. I know if I go home and drink a tea that my grandma makes I will get better so I think I am going to do it even though it makes me wanna gag and throw up. I will drink it and hopefully get rid of whatever I am trying to come down with.
Monday and Tuesday of this week were totally busy for me and know it has totally slowed down and I am totally bored. I hate how that tends to happen here. I am either overwhelmed or totally bored. There is never a happy medium. I guess that is how it is always going to be but I am still going to complain about it because well it totally bugs the hell out of me. I barely had time to post on Monday and Tuesday. Oh well like I always say at least I have a job!
It is supposed to snow this weekend and I am totally not looking forward to that at all. I hate the snow and I am so not ready for it come and the thought of driving in it again totally pisses me off! I really think I need to move to somewhere where it won’t ever snow. I am hoping we don’t have a bad winter because I don’t wanna see how bad my car really will do in lots of snow. I lucked out last year because we didn’t have a bad winter at all but I don’t know if I am going to be that lucky this year or not. We will wait and pray that it isn’t a bad winter at all.
The girls are hating the fact that it is getting so cold outside. They are always getting mad that I would let them go outside when it gets to be too cold for them. Elinore has started this really weird habit of not going to sleep at night until her whole herd is home. For example the other night my grandpa was having a sleep study done so he wasn’t home that night and she was restless most of the night like she was waiting for him to get home. Who knew that a cat really cared if people were around or not. Hell most cats just deal with people because we feed them. Guess she really cares if people are home or not. I have decided that I have the two weirdest cats that there are out there.
Josh is supposedly going to be home for my birthday but we will see if that happens or not. I can never really plan on him being here or not. It is just something that I have learned to deal with. The only thing that is going to bug me is he thinks it is just going to be me and him the whole time he is home and well that won’t happen because I am a home body and we both are totally broke so we will be at my Grandparents house and hell it is Thanksgiving weekend which means shopping like a mad woman on Friday!!!!
For Thanksgiving this year I am going to go over to my dads. I am nervous for this because well I don’t really know him yet and it will the first time my husband has met him. I have met with him two other times and it was when my husband went crazy last year and thought he wanted a divorce. So it should be interesting to say the least. You never do know what my husband will say or do. I am sure he will love a new group of people to tell his stories to.
WEDNESDAY WAS A REALLY STRANGE DAY FOR ME. THINGS AT WORK WERE DOING WEIRD THINGS AND THEN JOSH SHOCKED THE HECK OUT OF ME. I ALSO STARTED TO FEEL FUNNY. I THINK I AM HAVING AN MS FLAIR UP BUT THE AGAIN I NEVER HAVE ANY IDEA ON WHAT MY BODY IS DOING ANYMORE. ALL IN ALL I HOPE TODAY ISN’T AS WEIRD AS YESTERDAY. I DON’T KNOW IF MY BRAIN COULD HANDLE ANOTHER DAY LIKE YESTERDAY.
WHERE TO BEGIN WITH YESTERDAY. WELL LETS SEE THE FIRST WEIRD AND VERY STRANGE THING THAT HAPPENED HAD TO DO WITH A COMPUTER AT WORK. ONE OF THE GUYS NEEDED HELP PRINTING OFF A PDF FILE. SO AFTER I GOT THAT FIGURED OUT AND STARTED PRINTING IT WE REALIZED THAT IT WAS PRINTING THE PAGES OUT OF ORDER AND IT DIDN’T WANNA PRINT ALL THE PAGES SO WE TRIED AGAIN AND GOT A TOTALLY DIFFERENT PRINT OUT THEN BEFORE. ON THE THIRD TRY WE GOT WHAT WE WANTED UNTIL THE END. WE DIDN’T GET PAGE 18 AND AFTER THAT IT PRINTED DOUBLES OF THE REST OF THE PAGES BUT THE WEIRD PART IS THE DOUBLES DIDN’T MATCH AT ALL THEY WERE TWO DIFFERENT MODELS?!?!?!?! IN THE END WE HAD TO GO THROUGH PAGE BY PAGE AND HAVE THE PDF OPEN ON THE COMPUTER AND FIGURE OUT WHAT WAS WHAT. WE PRINTED IT TONS OF TIMES AND WE NEVER DID GET THE RIGHT COMBINATION OF PAGES. I AM STILL CONFUSED ON WHAT WAS GOING ON BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT HAPPEN BEFORE.
JOSH SHOCKED ME BECAUSE HE WAS IN FLORIDA AND HE ACTUALLY DID WHAT HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO DO!!! I WAS SO SHOCKED I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO HIM. HE HAS NEVER BEFORE DONE WHAT HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO DO WHILE HE IS THERE. HE HAS ALWAYS IGNORED ME AND FORGOT THAT I EXISTED WHEN HE WAS IN FLORIDA OR SPRINGFIELD. SO MAYBE HE IS ACTUALLY TRYING AND HE IS CHANGING. I MEAN I CAN’T BE SURE BUT HE IS SURE ACTING LIKE IT THAT IS FOR SURE. LIKE I TOLD MISTI IT WILL TAKE TIME TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS OVER A LONGER PERIOD OF TIME. ONLY TIME WILL TELL IF HE HAS REALLY CHANGED AND IF HE IS TRYING. I HOPE FOR THE BEST BUT WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENS OVER TIME. I AM HOPING FOR THE BEST THOUGH AND STAYING POSITIVE ABOUT IT ALL!
THE GIRLS ARE CRAZY. I GUESS THIS MORNING MY GRANDPARENTS WERE OUT IN THE GARDEN AND SYLVIA WANT TO BE WITH THEM OUT THERE. WELL THE ONLY PROBLEM WAS THE SPRINKLERS THAT WERE BLOCKING HER WAY. SHE JUST SAT THERE AND CRIED AND CRIED FOR THEM TO COME GET HER. I MEAN ALL SHE HAD TO DO WAS WALK AROUND. MY GRANDPARENTS THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS SO FUNNY. I GUESS SHE COULDN’T FIGURE OUT THE WHOLE WALK AROUND THE SPRINKLERS. THEY ARE SO CUTE AND CAN ALWAYS MAKE ME LAUGH OR SMILE!
SO I REALIZED TODAY THAT I HAVEN’T POSTED IN OVER A WEEK. I GUESS I BETTER POST SOMETHING TO MAKE UP FOR IT. LETS SEE NOT MUCH HAS REALLY GONE ON SINCE I LAST POSTED. MY BROTHER IS IN WASHINGTON FOR THE REST OF HIS TRAINING AND HIM AND HIS GIRLFRIEND ARE FIGHTING LIKE ALWAYS. GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE FIGHTING ABOUT ALL THE TIME ANYMORE. I GUESS SHE HAS STREP AND THAT HAS ME WORRIED BECAUSE MY NEXT INFUSION IS ON FRIDAY. I AM BEING EXTRA CAREFUL AND WHAT NOT AROUND HER. SO I THINK IT WILL BE OK AND NOT GET IT AGAIN. THERE REALLY ISN’T MUCH TO SAY SO I THINK THIS ABOUT IT FOR THIS POST. I WILL TRY AND POST MORE OFTEN!
WELL LAST NIGHT WAS DRAMA FILLED THAT IS FOR SURE. I KNOW CAN SEE WHAT OTHERS SAW WHEN JOSH AND I FOUGHT ALL THE TIME. IT WAS A JOKE THAT IS FOR SURE. I TRIED NOT TO ARGUE AND HOME SO THAT OTHERS WOULDN’T HAVE TO HEAR US. WELL MY BROTHER AND LACHELLE DON’T HAVE THE SAME CONSIDERATION. THEY STARTED FIGHTING AT LIKE 10:30 LAST NIGHT AND DIDN’T STOP UNTIL ABOUT 1 AND THEN IT STARTED ALL OVER AGAIN AT 5:30 THIS MORNING. I AM NOT SURE WHAT THE ARGUMENT WAS ABOUT BUT I FINALLY SAID SOMETHING AND OF COURSE THAT CAUSED MY LITTLE BROTHER TO GET MAD AT ME, BUT WHAT I SAID WAS SOON FORGOTTEN BECAUSE MY GRANDMA CALLED HER A BRAT. LOL MY GRANDMA SAID SHE WOULD HAVE KILLED MY LITTLE BROTHER AND I IF WE ACTED LIKE SHE WAS ACTING. MY BROTHER THEN GOT MAD AT GRANDMA FOR CALLING HER A BRAT. HELL SHE WAS ACTING LIKE A BRAT. SO WHEN IT IS ALL SAID AND DONE I GOT ABOUT 3 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT. LIVING THERE IS SUCH A JOKE THAT IS FOR SURE. LACHELLE WAS ON A BITCH ALL WEEKEND LONG THOUGH. I AM NOT SURE WHY SHE ALWAYS PISSY BUT GRANDPA HAS HAD ABOUT ENOUGH OF IT I THINK. HE SAID THAT HER AND HIM ARE GOING TO SIT DOWN AND TALK SO WE WILL SEE IF THAT EVER HAPPENS.
I WAS SO SAD THAT THE WEATHER SUCKED ALL WEEKEND LONG. I WAS WANTING TO WALK TO TRY AND LOSE SOME WEIGHT BUT IT WAS ALWAYS RAINING SO I COULDN’T WALK OUTSIDE. I WILL TRY AGAIN TONIGHT. I HAVE TO LOSE THE WEIGHT THAT I HAVE GAINED LATELY. I AM BACK IN MY FAT CLOTHES AGAIN AND THAT ALWAYS MAKES FOR A BAD BAD DAY.
THE GIRLS ARE ALWAYS OUTSIDE NOW. THEY ARE LOVING THE WARM WEATHER. THEY WERE SAD ALL WEEKEND CAUSE THEY COULDN’T GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY. I HOPE IT STAYS NICE FROM NOW ON. I AM TIRED OF COLD FOR RIGHT NOW AND SO ARE THE GIRLS!
THIS SWINE FLU IS REALLY SCARING ME IT MAKES ME WANNA BE A HERMIT AND NOT EVEN WORK. I AM SCARED THAT I WILL CATCH IT. ALL I CAN SAY IS I AM BEING CAREFUL AND I PRAY TO GOD THAT I DON’T CATCH IT.
WELL IT HAS BEEN AWHILE SINCE I HAVE POSTED AND NOT MUCH HAS HAPPENED. ELINORE HAS A COLD NOW. I AM NOT SURE WHAT TO DO FOR HER. I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER. SHE KEEPS SNEEZING AND RUBBING HER NOSE WITH HER PAW. I TALKED TO GRANDMA ABOUT IT AND SHE SAID ALL I CAN DO IS WAIT IT OUT BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE THE MONEY TO TAKE HER BACK TO THE VET. IT COST ME 200 LAST WEEKEND TO TAKE THEM FOR THERE SHOTS AND YEARLY CHECK-UP. THEY COST ME SO MUCH IT IS A JOKE. OH WELL GUESS THAT COMES WITH HAVING CATS THAT ARE LIKE MY KIDS. THE NEXT EXPENSE WILL BE WHEN I HAVE SYLVIA SHAVED. I AM GOING TO HAVE THE DONE THE END OF MAY SO THAT SHE WILL HAVE SHORT HAIR FOR THE SUMMER TIME. I AM SURE SHE WILL HATE ME WHEN I DO IT BUT OH WELL SHE WILL BE CUTE. I WILL BE SURE TO POST PICTURES OF HER WHEN I GET IT DONE. SHE WILL BE SO CUTE!!!!
I AM STILL SICK WITH THIS DAMN COLD I HAVE HAD SINCE LAST MONTH. IT IS SURE GETTING OLD THAT IS FOR SURE. I JUST WANT TO BE NOT SICK. MY NEXT INFUSION IS IN A WEEK AND FOR THE FIRST TIME I AM NOT NERVOUS ABOUT IT. I AM ACTUALLY READY FOR IT. IT ISN’T SCARY ANYMORE. I ALSO HAVE A DOCTORS APPOINTMENT ON TUESDAY AND THAT WILL BE NICE BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW IF SHE EVEN KNOWS THAT I AM HAVING THE INFUSIONS AGAIN. I ALSO HAVE TO GET PILLS FOR THE HEADACHES I GET AFTER THE INFUSIONS. I WISH THAT I COULD BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. I AM SO TIRED OF BEING SICK AND WHAT NOT. MY ANXIETY HAS BEEN REALLY REALLY BAD LATELY. I AM NOT SURE WHY BUT I HAVE REALLY BEEN STRUGGLING. IT IS GETTING HARD TO PUT A SMILE ON MY FACE EVERYDAY AND ACT LIKE NOTHING IS WRONG BUT IT IS SOMETHING I HAVE TO DO I GUESS. I HAVE TO ACT LIKE EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT. I AM HOPING THAT ONE DAY THE SMILE I PUT ON WON’T BE FAKE AND I WILL TRUELY BE HAPPY WITH MY LIFE AND WHO I AM.
I AM BACK TO EATING EVERYTHING THAT SUCKS LOL. I AM BACK ON THE DIET. I SHOULDN’T SAY A DIET BECAUSE I HAVE TO EAT LIKE I AM NOW ALL THE TIME. IT SUCKS CAUSE THERE ISN’T MUCH I CAN REALLY EAT BUT IT HAS TO BE DONE SO THAT I WON’T BE THE FAT KID ANYMORE. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE FAT KID AND I AM TIRED OF IT. SO I AM GOING TO LOSE THE WEIGHT AND KEEP IT OFF THIS TIME.