I Loved . . .

I Loved

This week for the writers workshop I am going to write about number one which is: A movie you loved as a child.  There are a few movies that I loved as a child so I am going to post a few of the ones that I loved.

The first one that came to mind when I read this post had to be the movie “Labyrinth“.

Labyrinth

Even now when I watch this movie it makes me smile and I am not 100% sure what it is about this movie that I loved so much.  It has David Bowie in it and if you haven’t seen it then I think it is worth watching if you want a good laugh.

The second movie I loved was “Willow”.

Willow

I have tried to watch this movie as an adult and I am not sure what I liked about it because I literally can’t get through watching the movie now.  I remember parts of this movie but everytime I try and watch it now that I am an adult I turn it off because it is that bad.

The third movie I loved was “The Wizard of Oz”

Wizard Of Oz

There isn’t much to say about this movie because I love it that much.  When it was realised a few years ago on DVD I bought several copies because the VHS I had broke and I didn’t want to be without it again.  I basically have the whole movie memorized and yet I still get excited if I see that it is on TV.  To me this will always be a classic movie.

The fourth and final movie that I loved was “The Sound of Music”

The Sound of Music

I still love this movie and I watch it all the time.  It did take until I was an adult to get everything that was really going on in the movie.  Once I realized what was going on in the movie I loved it even more.  I have always loved WWII so that made me love the movie even more.

Those are the four movies that came to mind right when I read the prompt.

What movies did you love as a child?

Mama’s Losin’ It

This weeks prompts

1.) A movie you loved as a child.

2.) Write a post inspired by the word: lost.

3.) Five of your current favorite things.

4.) Pinterest inspired! Share a pin you actually tried. How did it go?

5.) You’re better off without it…

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2014 Margaret Margaret

Healing

My best friend, okay she is more like a sister, had her baby on May 25.  I haven’t set foot in labor and delivery since I had and placed my daughter for adoption almost 7 years ago.  I that being there for her was going to be hard and it was going to bring emotions to the top that I hadn’t dealt with.  What I didn’t realize at the time was how healing it was going to be for me to be there with her and the baby.

After I got off of work I headed to the hospital and right when I pulled into the parking lot I broke down and started to cry.  I had to sit in my cry for a few minutes because the last thing she needed was to see me crying when see was in labor.  After I few minutes I got it together and I went into the hospital.  I didn’t really know where to be so I just stayed in the hall right outside the room she was in.

After she had him and we all came in the room and they asked me if I wanted to hold him all I could do was shake my head no.  My eyes filled up with tears and it was all I could do to keep from leaving the room.  To be honest in that minute I didn’t know if I would even hold him while he was in the hospital.  Every time I thought about holding him it brought all the emotions I had pushed to the background and hadn’t dealt with.

After they got her up to her postpartum room and her boyfriend left so he could run home and do a few things I stayed so that she wouldn’t have to be alone.  I didn’t want her to be alone because I know when I had my daughter it was hard to be in the hospital all alone.  After it was just the 3 of us I knew it was time to hold him and start to deal with the emotions.

After I held him for a little bit I realized that he did something for me that I didn’t know he could.  I can’t put into words what he did but he healed a part of me that I thought would always be broken.  He is so special to me because he will never know what he did for me and that is okay but he will always be a huge part of my life.

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2012 Margaret Margaret

Adoption-Pure Love

I am sure that most of you know by now that I place my daughter for adoption when I was 20.  She will be 7 in July and it is so hard to believe that it has been 7 years since I have been pregnant.  I never thought I was going to make it through the first year let alone 7 years.

I recently found a blog by Tiffany who recently adopted a little girl.  As I was reading through the story of her adoption I found a part in her post that put into words things I have wanted to say for 7 years but could never find the words.  Here is the quote:

 I deeply resent the people who have said, about birth parents, “I can’t imagine ever giving away my child.”  

The pain involved in the choice to place (not give away) your child for adoption is one most of us cannot imagine.  The reason it is painful is because when we love someone, our instinct is to hold tight and never let go.  This instinct isn’t really the love itself but rather our own heart’s selfish desire to protect itself from the pain of loss.

But birth parents understand that truly loving someone can mean letting go.  It can mean wanting more for your child than you feel you can give.

It is utter selflessness.  It is true courage.  It is pure love.

I read this quote to my grandma the other night and it brought tears to her eyes.  This says everything that I felt when I placed my daughter but have never found the words to express.  There isn’t much I can really say about it because she says everything that is in my heart.   I really recommend that you should go and check out her blog and read the whole story of her adopting their newest little girl.

What do you guys think of her quote?

 

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2012 Margaret Margaret

Ways to Cope With Placing Your Child For Adoption

I placed my daughter for adoption in July of 2005.   I attend a support group for unwed mothers that the agency I was going to had.  Not everyone in the group was placing for adoption but I learned so much from the girls that have placed and listening to what worked and didn’t work for them.  I figured that I would share some of the things that worked for me and things that may work for other birth parents.

Before I get into them I was researching some things on adoption and I found this article.  While I reading through article I found this paragraph and I really liked what it said.  I am going to post it here because I think it speaks volumes about how birth parents are looked at by people who don’t understand are choices.  Here is the paragraph:

Most people at some time in their lives experience grief when they are separated from a loved one. However, in adoption, there are no standard grieving processes or approved rituals to help birthparents cope. When a well-liked co-worker accepts a new job in a new city, there is often a going away party. When a loved one dies, there may be a religious service, a wake, a funeral, and visits to the survivors’ home by friends and relatives. But birthparents’ grief is distinct from most other types of grief, because it is not always socially acceptable to talk about what happened.

Now on to the ways I coped and ways that others have coped with the greif.

  • Journal-I wrote out why I placed her in a journal that I then gave to the adoptive mom to give to my daughter when they thought she was ready to read it.
  • Talk to other birth moms-It helped me tons to be able to talk to other girls who had been though it and could tell me that it would get better with time.  I never thought the first year would end but each year it gets easier at least it has for me.
  • Take one day at at time-There are time where You are going to have to take it minute by minute but know that time will heal the pain.  At first the pain is so raw that it is all you can think about but it does get easier I promise.
  • Build a support system-I helps to have people who know the whole story and whither or not they agree with your choice they will still stand behind you and listen to you talk.  There will be times that just talking to someone and having them not try to answer but just listen helps so much.  It makes such a difference to just get the thoughts out of you head and have someone not feel the need to try and make it better but just listen.
  • Allow yourself to feel the emotions-I know in the beginning I wanted to run from the emotions I was feeling and not feel anything but by doing that you are going to be making it harder in the long run.  Allow yourself to feel and grieve.
  • Keep Scrapbooks and/or pictures around-If you were to walk into my room right now the only pictures I have up are the ones of her when she is older.  In the beginning looking at the pictures made me feel better but after the first year and even know it is so hard for me to look at the pictures of her while we were in the hospital because I want the baby.  I heard from one of the girls in the support group that her child became two different people in her head even though she knew they were the same.  She like me wanted the baby and not the child that she is now.
  • If you need help ask-Don’t be too afraid to talk to a counselor if you are having a hard time deal with all of the emotions.  I saw one quite awhile after I placed my daughter and that helped me so much.

When I think of more ways I am for sure going to post them and if you know of any other ways to cope please leave a comment so that I can add it to my next post.

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2012 Margaret Margaret

In Love

I am so thrilled that my blog could be fixed.  I am also super glad that I went through Host Gator because they fixed my blog and now it is updating in blog readers so I have my followers back and people can now see my posts.  If you are moving to wordpress and going to buy hosting I say go through Host Gator because they are awesome!

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Margaret Margaret
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