Wow this past year has changed me in so many ways. I can’t even imagine where I would be if my life hadn’t changed that much. I am going to write about the changes over the last year for me and some of the people in my life. All the changes has been so good for me and also for the people that are in my life.
It was this time last year that they let Misti go at work. I still remember the day they let her go like it was yesterday even though I still wish that is was just a bad dream and that I could wake up for it. I don’t know that it will ever be the same here without her being here. It is even harder to wrap my head around the fact that she has had a baby and is now a mother.
Also anyone who has followed my blog from the start will know that my daughters birthday is coming up and that always makes it a tough time of year for me. I am finding that this year is going to be harder than some of the past years have been. It is always hard to gauge how a year will be for me but I think this is going to be hard for me.
Well that was quite the tangent so lets get back to the post. Other than those things I am still pretty much blogging about the same things. I really haven’t changed what I blog about because I have always just blogged about my life and for the most part my life doesn’t change that much.
As you all know one of my best friends passed away on Sunday. I have tried many times to write this post and I have never been able to get words down on the screen. I have really struggled with this because it was such a shock to me. I was orginally going to write about what I love about her but I have decided that I am going to write a letter to her so that I can tell her everything that I never got a chance to do while she was alive.
* I am not going to get into what happened and other things that are going on as a result. I know Melissa would want me to keep living and let go of anger and hate.
I miss you more and more everyday. I wish that you would have called me and let me know you were so down so that I could have helped you. I am writing this because I want to tell you and all my readers what I learned from you in the short time I knew you.
I learned how to be a better writer. You wrote posts that made people think and I hope that one day I can become as good as a writer as you were. Every post you wrote for my blog and even your own blog made me think and contemplate things in my own life. It takes an amazing writer to make people realize that they need to make changes in their lives just because of something you wrote.
I learned not to ever let people treat me bad. I saw what happened to you and I refused to let people do that to me. I show the toll it took on her and I don’t ever want people to control me.
I also learned that admitting you have a mental illness is nothing you need to hide. It was great to see that I can blog about things and there are people out there that won’t judge me and will understand. You are part of the reason I wrote my adoption story and started to post things that make me vulnerable. I guess I hope one day I have people come to my blog like you had going to yours!
I learned to look for join in the little things in life and how to deal with what life throws at me.
I will never forget you and everything you taught me. I promise that I will live the rest of my life for the both of us! I know I will see you again and I can’t wait til that day comes.
This week I chose to write about #5.) I have no idea where the following message originated from, but it’s been floating around Facebook for the past week…who does it make you think about?:
Note: I have been having major issues with comments on my blog so if you are a new follower and I haven’t followed back please leave another comment or email me at theworldasiseeit25 at gmail dot com. It should all be fixed now but I will keep checking to make sure that everything is still working out! This post started out talking about my husband and how he made me feel but I realized that this is something I need to work on and I need to make time for people I care about. I find it funny that in trying to write a post about how doing this made me feel I can see how I make people feel when I do the same thing. That being said I hope you enjoy the post and will stick around for me change!
I also have to admit that I am not great at putting out the effort to stay in peoples lives so they know I care. I get so busy doing everything that I do that I don’t make the time and then when I am finally done for the day and lay down it is all I can do to operate the remote control but I am going to get better at this because I have to!!!!! I can’t expect people to do all the work. I think I am going to start talking to people I care about when I get home while I am working on designs instead of watching TV all night long. I also need to rearrange my schedule a little bit so I can fit everything that needs to get done everyday. So I want everyone I care about to know things are going to change and I am going to make more of an effort to stay in contact with everyone and get a set routine with working and designing.
This post started out talking about my husband and how he made me feel but I realized that this is something I need to work on and I need to make time for people I care about.