Dear Melissa

As you all know one of my best friends passed away on Sunday.  I have tried many times to write this post and I have never been able to get words down on the screen.  I have really struggled with this because it was such a shock to me.  I was orginally going to write about what I love about her but I have decided that I am going to write a letter to her so that I can tell her everything that I never got a chance to do while she was alive.

* I am not going to get into what happened and other things that are going on as a result.   I know Melissa would want me to keep living and let go of anger and hate.

Dear Melissa,

I miss you more and more everyday.  I wish that you would have called me and let me know you were so down so that I could have helped you.  I am writing this because I want to tell you and all my readers what I learned from you in the short time I knew you.

  • I learned how to be a better writer.  You wrote posts that made people think and I hope that one day I can become as good as a writer as you were.  Every post you wrote for my blog and even your own blog made me think and contemplate things in my own life.  It takes an amazing writer to make people realize that they need to make changes in their lives just because of something you wrote.
  • I learned not to ever let people treat me bad.  I saw what happened to you and I refused to let people do that to me.  I show the toll it took on her and I don’t ever want people to control me.
  • I also learned that admitting you have a mental illness is nothing you need to hide.  It was great to see that I can blog about things and there are people out there that won’t judge me and will understand.   You are part of the reason I wrote my adoption story and started to post things that make me vulnerable.  I guess I hope one day I have people come to my blog like you had going to yours!
  • I learned to look for join in the little things in life and how to deal with what life throws at me.

I will never forget you and everything you taught me.  I promise that I will live the rest of my life for the both of us!  I know I will see you again and I can’t wait til that day comes.

I love you,

Margaret

A Big Thank You

I want to thank all of the people who have contributed to this blog.  I am so glad that people have a place to go to share there stories.  I am so glad that you are willing to share your stories.  I know it is hard to type up the stories and it is also hard to put them out there because of how we are judge because of what we choose for our children.  My hope is that this blog will show to other people that they can survive if they chose adoption for their children.  I truly believe that awareness needs to be raised about adoption and there need to be more places for birth parents to go and find the support that we all need.  It is so great to now have a place where I can go and talk to people who totally understand what I am feeling.

I want to thank you all and I hope you will continue to share your stories.  Also if you know of any birth parents or anyone who has been touched by adoption please send them my way!  I am always looking for stories so please feel free to email them to me!
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Thank You

I was driving home in traffic and I got a great idea.  I realized that I need to thank people for things they have done for me.  Some people probably don’t know what they have done.  I am also going to thank people for things that some of you may wonder if I have fallen and bumped my head but all of the people I am going to thank have made me the person I am now.

Dear Josh,
Even though you ruined Christmas for me for the rest of my life I have to thank you because without you doing that I never would have found myself again.  I learned so much about myself and realized the strength I had inside.  I had forgotten how strong I could be.  It is funny to me that it took you leaving me to realize I am so better off without a guy and I really can move on from anything.  This doesn’t mean that I am still not hurt by what you did.  It made me become the real mean again and that is a great feeling!
Margaret

Dear Melissa,
You have taught me so much about myself and taught me better ways to deal with my own depression.  You have shown me that I just have to keep pushing.  I see what you are going through now and how you are keeping your head up.  You really are someone I look up to and learn so much from.  I want you to know all you have to do is call me or email me if you need me.  I read your story about your suicide attempt and it made me realize that suicide is never the answer.  Because of you I don’t even think about suicide.  Thank you for being so open and showing me and others that you can come back from severe depression.
Margaret

Dear Jacqui,
I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to thanking you.  I want to thank you for always listening to me when I am complaining.  I want to thank you for designing my blogs.  I want to thank you for now teaching me how design blogs.  You are such a great friend and I am so glad I met you through blogging.  I know we will be great friend for years to come!  Thank you for being you!
Margaret

Dear Misti
This is another hard letter to write.  We have been through so much and yet we keep coming out stronger than we were before.  Thank you for dealing with me when I am not the nicest or when I am being a straight up bitch.  You are more like family than my own family.  I truly look at your mom like she is my mom.  I know that once my grandma passes away she will be my mom.  I want to thank you and your family for taking me in and treating me like I am family.  Thank you for being you!!!!
Margaret

Dear Family
Thank you for acting like you don’t care because it has showed me that I can do it myself.  I has proven that I don’t need to have people around me.  It has made me into the person that I am and for that I am thankful.
Margaret

Dear Followers
Thank you for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Margaret

How is that for letters!!!!!  Some of them I am sure you are wondering what I was thinking but I am thankful for them.  I am sure I have left out people but I will get you next time I do this.  I am thinking about doing this every few weeks.  It really was fun and it is also nice to thank people.
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Thank You

I want to thank everyone who stopped by yesterday and I want to welcome all my new followers!!!!!  It really made my day to get all those comments and to get new followers.  I want everyone to know that I am working on responding to all the comments left and returning the follows.  I am hoping to get it all done this weekend sometime.  So if  I haven’t gotten back to you yet I will soon I promise!!!!

This week was a hard week and it just kept getting worse as the week went on.  At least I had one good day and that was yesterday when everyone left me comment love!!!!!  I am hoping for a good weekend that I can relax get over everything that happened this weekend and start fresh and new this weekend!

Once again thank you everyone!  It really did need it!  I was scared that people would be mean but it was all sweet things and things that I really did need to hear yesterday.  I hope everyone has a great weekend!
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