Archives for March 2011

What Would You Do?

I thought about skipping my guest post this week. My mind certainly is not as focused as I would like it to be. However, I decided to follow through with it. The main reason why is I need the distraction. My father’s death has been very hard on me.

Usually, I am the one presenting some ideas, and/or quotes – giving you my take on them – hoping you will like what I have to say. What I share is based on my own experiences, and how I have grown, and changed from them. Right now things are different. I am encountering something I never have experienced before. The feeling of loss, and grief from the death of my father.
I have absolutely no idea what I can do – if anything – to ease the pain in my heart. I am clueless about how I can help ease my mother’s heart wrenching pain. I honestly have no idea what to do.
I am turning to you, hoping you can give me some advice that might help me get through the difficult days ahead.
How do other people deal with feelings of grief, and loss?
How do you provide emotional support to someone who is hurting as much as you are?
Does the emotional pain go away?


Meet Me On Monday

1.  Crunchy or soft tacos?
Soft!!!  I should eat crunchy ones because I shouldn’t have gluten but I don’t like crunchy ones at all.
2.  Do you scrapbook?
I do.  I have even scrapbooked my cats.
3.  Do you take any daily medications?
Ya I take a few things daily.  I take: Baclofen, Zoloft, Loritab and then Lunsta most nights so I can sleep.
4.  What is your favorite sound?
I love any and all music!
5.  Where were you born?
At St. Marks Hospital in Salt Lake City Utah.

NES & Health Update

Another week down and I have actually done really well this week when it comes to eating at night.  Friday and Saturday nights where the only nights that I ate so that is a huge improvement from where it has been.  I am still on the Slim Fast diet and it isn’t going super well.  I haven’t weighed myself so I am not sure where I am at right now but I think I am going to weigh myself first thing in the morning and see where I am at and use that as my starting weight.  I hope that I can start losing the weight but I don’t really hold out much hope of it.  I know I need to start exercising again but with the MS as bad as it had gotten I am not sure how I will do working out.  I am going to try and do the 30 day shred again tomorrow and see how far I get before I feel like I am dying.

I am so tired of the MS and always being sick.  I am 26 and yet I am always at home because I am to tired or weak to do anything.  I am just tired of being tired and in pain all the time.  I know that it is just part of the disease but it is getting old quickly.  In June we are going to Yellowstone and I am not sure how much I am going to be able to do.  I am scared that I am not going to be able to do all the hikes with my family.  I will be so sad if I end up having to sit out some of it.  I love Yellowstone and all the hiking but if the MS stays like it is I am not going to be able to much of anything.  I am holding out hope that things will be okay and I will be able to do what I want to do.  My hands are super numb right now and I think I am getting carpel tunnel which sucks but just another issue I have to over come.

I hope everyone had a great weekend and will have a great week!



If You Don’t Like It . . .

I have decided that I am done playing the number game.  I am going back to blogging for me.  I am not going to worry about how many people read my blog or how many followers I have.  I would rather have people follow me that actually read what I write instead of tons of followers who don ‘t read what I write.  I am also not going to follow blogs unless they appeal to me.  I got so caught up in getting my number of followers higher that I forgot why I blog.  If I lose some followers then oh well such is life.  I am back to blogging for me!  Oh and if people I write about here read it then that is oh them!  I am not going to censor what I right because it may hurt peoples feelings!  If you don’t like it then don’t read it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am also thinking about changing the name to My Life . . . My Stories.  My private blog was named that and since I have deleted it I am thinking that it is a perfect name for this blog.  What does everyone think about that????


I am finding that I am in funk lately.  I just came seem to find things to write about and some days even if I have things to write I don’t feel like writing them.  I hate when I have days or weeks like this.  I can sit for hours and stare at a blank screen and have no idea how to get the thoughts in my head out of my head.  I am just so tired of things in my life that I not sure what to do to make them go away or at least not bug me as much as they have been.  I am just tired of a lot of things in my life anymore.  I am so tired of being sick and not being able to do much because I get tired so quickly.  Like Saturday my Grandma and I went shopping and we were only gone a few hours by the time we got home I could barely move because I was in so much pain.  I am just tired always being sick and spending so much time and money at doctors offices.  Hell I live at home because I can’t afford rent because of the doctor bills!  I guess I am just tired of this disease and it taking my life away from me.  I am only 26 is shouldn’t have to deal with this stupid disease.  Hell no one should have to deal with this disease.  It might be easier if I could plan on what was going to be wrong during a day but every morning when I get up and I am like “well what is going to work right today?”.  I am always waiting for something to go wrong because you never know what this disease will do.

I also am having a rough time being single right now.  It sucks when I have times like this.  People around me are going to say see you aren’t okay being single.  What they don’t get is that some days are tough and it tends to get lonely but more than not I am totally satisfied being alone.  I hate when I feel like this because I know all too well that I am better off alone.  In time this all will pass or at least I hope it will pass!!

Controlled By Fear

Melissa from Sugar Filled Emotions is a regular guest poster on my blog.  He dad died in is sleep on Saturday night.  Go to her blog and leave her some love because I am know she could really use it right now.  Melissa know I always am here for you and love you!


“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t – you are right.” 
~ Henry Ford
For a long time I lived without taking any chances, rather than put myself in a position to fail. The thought of what others might say or think about me – when I failed – was enough to make my stomach hurt, and paralyze me. I have put aside many dreams out of fear of failure, and embarrassment. Fear controlled most – sometimes all – of my life. There is no joy in life when almost every aspect of it is controlled by fear.
Learning how to let go of fear has been difficult. As much as I hated being controlled by something that made me feel so bad, the thought of not having it around actually made me afraid. I had become comfortable with it and it was as if I was contemplating losing a part of myself. In a way I guess I was.
With the help of my counselor, I came up with a plan to help me let go of the thing – fear – that was having such a negative impact on my life. The beauty of it is how simple it is. All I do is ask myself “What is the worst thing that can happen?”
Identifying, measuring, and doing what I can to mitigate my risks allows me to put my fear aside and move forward. My plan boosts my confidence, and creates a handy reference tool when I start feeling overwhelmed.
I wish I could say I was always successful at working this plan, but I cannot. What I can say is I am getting better at it. There are fewer times when I feel overwhelmed by fear. I can also say that less of my life is controlled by fear, and I have hope that someday soon it will have no control over any aspect of my life.
I understand, and realize that there is always a chance that my dreams might come true. I know if they do not it is not the end of the world. In the end, the very fact that I pursued my dreams makes me a more interesting, and well rounded person.


NES Check In

I have had a really rough week but I did really well up until Saturday night.  I only ate one other at night this week so for me that means it has been a great week!  the new antidepressant is working so that is a great thing and helps me know I can and will beat this disease.  I started the whole Slim Fast diet so I am hoping that it will help me lose the weight I put on while I was on my old antidepressant.  The new antidepressant has made me not want to eat so it is easier to be on a diet while I am taking it.  That’s all of it for this week!  I hope everyone has a great week!!! 

The Japanese Tsunami: When The Past Dances With the Present

I am super excited to have a guest post today!!!!!  I met him on Twitter and asked him if he would guest post for me.  I have never had a male guest post for me before and I was excited to finally have one!  After reading his post here go and check out his blog!

As of this writing, 3/16/11, the Japanese death toll is over 4,000, with countless thousands missing, and an estimated $200 billion in damages has already occurred. This ongoing tragedy is really a tale of three horrific events, an earthquake, a tsunami, and the looming threat of a nuclear catastrophe. Because Japan is located in the Ring of Fire region, it has a long history of earthquakes and tsunamis. The shifting of geographic tectonic plates beneath the Pacific ocean causes the earthquakes. This in turn causes the tsunami in the Pacific’s vast waters. Wikipedia lists major earthquakes in Japan going back to November 684 A.D. This current earthquake, measured 8.9 on the Richter scale, is the strongest earthquake of those listed.
Like Karen Zacharias’ well written and moving play, Legacy of Light, these events model a dance between past and present. In Legacy of Light, the philosophy and physics of 17th century Voltaire and his former mistress Emilie du Chatelet are juxtaposed and intertwined with related individuals and events in our present time. On a much more horrific scale, the earthquakes and tsunamis of Japan’s tumultuous geographic past are becoming intertwined with the most powerful force unleashed by mankind in history, atomic power.
Japan has 55 nuclear power plants, with several more planned. The US has 104. The most significant nuclear meltdowns to date have occurred in the US, 3 Mile Island, and in Russia, Chernobyl. The Japanese power plant in its’ Fukushima plant is now confirmed to be in a meltdown situation. The damage was initially caused by the earthquake and tsunami, but has now taken on a life of its own. In the past, this third stage of the disaster would not have occurred. But now, it could ultimately be the most devastating part. Somehow in our modern, sheltered world of computer, smart phones, and SUVs, we forget where we come from. We forget the power of nature and we can barely conceive of the consequences when the past dances with the present.
By Steve Mallis

Great Sale Going On!

I am so excited to announce that I am now designing blogs with Wacky Jacqui’s Designs!  The new layout I have I did all on my own!!!!  I am still learning but I want to let everyone in on this great sale that Jacqui and I are hosting.  You can get a blogger package for $55 that is usually $65 or you can get a WordPress package for $ 55 that usually is $85!  Those are both great deals!!!!!!!!!  Here are the details of what each package includes:

Blogger Package
• 2 , 3 or 4 column design
• Custom background
• Custom header
• Sidebar titles (unlimited)
• Custom signature
• Custom post divider
• Social network icons
• Custom blog button
• Navigation bar with text
• Favicon
• Installation

WordPress Package
• 2 , 3 column design
• Custom background
• Custom header
• Blog button
• Matching font color
• Custom Font for post and sidebar titles
• Custom signature
• Social network icons
• Menu Bar (drop down +8)
• Favicon
• Installation

These prices don’t include and kits or image fee’s and we add a 3.00 dollar Paypal fee to each package.  Click here to fill out the order from and please put my name in the referring box so that we know it is my order!!!!!  If you have any questions please leave a comment or email me!  I also have a giveaway coming up as well!

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