NES Check In


Well another week has past and I don’t know how I feel about the past week.  I ate about 3 or 4 times which is better than it has been but it bugs me that I can’t just stop eating at night.  On Friday night I had a panic attack because I refused to get up and eat.  I just paced in my room freaking out.  I was so frustrated because I feeling like only because  my body thinks it needs to eat in the middle of the night when I don’t really need to.  Last night I didn’t fight it.  I just ate because I didn’t want to fight with my brain.

I am hoping to get into the doctors this Friday and see what they can put me on or who they can recommend for me to go talk with.  I know I can fight this but there are days when it is just easier to eat then fight with my head!  That is all for now!  I hope everyone has had a great week!  Stay strong!



I am going to start writing each week about my struggle with my eating disorder.  My reason for doing this is to maybe help someone some where.  If you missed the post I wrote about it last week you can check it out here.  I am going to post a post like this every Sunday so people can come along with me in the journey to heal from my eating disorder.

Since I have posted the first post on Wednesday I have gone both Friday night and Saturday night with out eating the middle of the night.  So I have got two days under my belt but I know I will have bad days.  

I hope everyone has a great week!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Truth. . .

 This post was super hard for me to write.  I am letting people in on a part of me and hoping that I can find a way to heal and  get past this.  If you have any advice please leave it to me in the comments!

Ever since my husband left me on Christmas in 2008 my eating habits have been of.  I have started to eat at night and not during the day.  I am eating most of my calories for the after about 7 PM.  The only reason I eat during the day is because of the pills I take I have to eat or I will get sick.  I really don’t get hungry till I get off work.  I knew that this isn’t normal but I didn’t know there was an actual eating disorder for it.  I was researching things for a dear friend of mine and I came across the disorder called Night Eating Syndrome.I was reading what they said about this disorder and I was shocked at how reading about the disorder that they were describing was 100% me. Here are some of the things that they say describe people who may have this disease.

  • People that have this disorder eat the majority of their calories for the day after 8 PM.
  • They say that is effects 1 to 2% of the population.  They also said that it can affect both sexes and all ages of people but it mostly affects young women.
  • People with this disorder and shown to have depression and low self esteem.  They also may have anxiety problems.  I know that if I don’t eat when I wake up it will cause me to have a panic attack.
  • They are often embarrassed by what is going on and don’t want let other people in on what is going on.  They also feel guilt instead of feeling relieved when they eat at night.
  • They generally have trouble sleeping.
  • They found that about 28% of people that were seeking gastric bypass surgery suffer from this disorder.
  • When they eat late at night they usually eat carbohydrates.  They say that the people “binge” eat at night but the eating is typically spread over several hours so it isn’t  the same as the typical binges that happen with the other eating disorders.

As I was typing that list it is like they were just writing about me.  I have so many of those symptoms that it is scary to me.  I now have a name for it but to know what it is almost makes is scary to me.  I would rather not know what is going on with me in this case.  I am really stuck on how to beat this.   I know I can but I am not sure how to beat it.  I am hoping that someone out there has some advice for me on this subject and knows how I can beat it.  I am truly looking to get past this and get back to being happy and health again.