The Choice By Robert Whitlow

August 28, 2012

About “The Choice” By Robert Whitlow

One young woman. Two very different roads. The choice will change everything.

Even as a pregnant, unwed teen in 1974, Sandy Lincoln wanted to do the right thing. But when an ageless woman approached her in a convenience store with a mysterious prophecy and a warning, doing the right thing became even more unclear. She made the best choice she could . . . and has lived with the consequences.

More than thirty years later, a pregnant teen has come into her life, and Sandy’s long-ago decision has come back to haunt her. The stakes rise quickly, leaving Sandy with split seconds to choose once more. But will her choice decision bring life . . . or death?

My Review

I really enjoyed this book. When Sandy was going through her pregnancy I totally related to how she felt and how hard what she was going to be going through. I also know how she felt when she didn’t want to see her babies after they were born because I too felt like that when I had my daughter. I decided to see here when I was alone in the middle of the night which is what worked out best for me.

Anyway there are parts in this book that I didn’t like or don’t understand like how she could separate the boys but I saw her logic I just didn’t like the choice. The author did a great job of getting all the emotions right when I came to Sandy placing the babies and the emotions leading up to that point.

I think that this is a good book and people who know about adoption would like it. I am sure there are parts that some people in the adoption community wouldn’t like but all in all it is a good book and one that I am glad that I read.

FTC: I received a free copy of “The Choice” by Robert Whitlow in exchange for my review. The opinions expressed in this review are 100% my own.

Cradle My Heart

August 14, 2012

Abortion continues to be a hot topic in politics, women’s rights, and medical practice. But for the eight to ten million American Christian women who have had one, abortion is a spiritual issue as well, raising questions of life and death, heaven and hell, grief and loss.

Writing from her own experience, Kim Ketola sheds light on one of the darkest and most neglected personal issues of our time: the widespread need for healing and spiritual recovery after abortion. “After abortion brought the worst trouble into my life I had ever known,” writes Ketola, “I just couldn’t see my way free to believe in God’s love.”

With a compassionate heart, Ketola offers ten true stories of healing promise from the Bible to help women answer the most common spiritual torments they face: Is abortion a sin? Does God hate me? Where can I turn in my shame and distress? How could I ever tell anyone the truth? And more.

Inspired by Romans 6:4–“just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life”–this is a definitive resource to help women see themselves and God anew and–finally–to find spiritual healing.

My Review-Cradle My Heart

This book is amazing. As you know I placed my daughter for adoption so I have never had an abortion. This book even helped me with some of the issues I have had since I placed my daughter for adoption. I didn’t think I would get anything out of the book but after I finished the book I was so glad that I took the time to read it. There are so many great things about this book that there is no way that I can do justice to the book with a review. I would recommend this book to anyone who has had an abortion or even placed a child for adoption. This book gave me hope and made me see how I can make changes and get into a better place when it comes to dealing with my feelings from the adoption.

Blog Tour Website

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Meet Kim-The Author

Kim Ketola is a sought-after writer and motivational speaker with the Ruth Graham and Friends conference. After thirty years in the broadcasting industry, she founded a nonprofit organization through which she presents professionally accredited conferences to equip counselors and help individuals recover from the emotional and spiritual wounds of abortion. Kim lives in Atlanta, Georgia.

Visit her website: http://www.cradlemyheart.org

In coordination with the launch of their fall releases, Kregel will be hosting a live webcast event on September 20 at 8 PM EDT featuring authors Kim Ketola (Cradle My Heart), Teske Drake (Hope for Today, Promises for Tomorrow), and Dawn Scott Jones (When a Woman You Love Was Abused). The webcast will allow women to come together to share their struggles and fears in order to move toward healing and hope. Women will able to support one another and discuss shared experiences in a non-threatening, open and loving environment.

Cat Hoort of Kregel says, “”We are seeking to provide safe means for Christian women to be vulnerable with each other, to seek help and guidance from authors and counselors, and to find encouragement from those who have shared similar experiences. Our hope is that the Women Redeemed webcast will become a forum for hurting women as well as for those who can help. Kim, Teske, and Dawn are all survivors and their stories will surely inspire and equip other women to move toward healing and hope.”

To register for the event, just click here. {https://www.facebook.com/KregelBooks/app_241719209283045}

Changes Over The Last Year

June 28, 2012

Wow this past year has changed me in so many ways. I can’t even imagine where I would be if my life hadn’t changed that much. I am going to write about the changes over the last year for me and some of the people in my life. All the changes has been so good for me and also for the people that are in my life.

It was this time last year that they let Misti go at work. I still remember the day they let her go like it was yesterday even though I still wish that is was just a bad dream and that I could wake up for it. I don’t know that it will ever be the same here without her being here. It is even harder to wrap my head around the fact that she has had a baby and is now a mother.

Also anyone who has followed my blog from the start will know that my daughters birthday is coming up and that always makes it a tough time of year for me. I am finding that this year is going to be harder than some of the past years have been. It is always hard to gauge how a year will be for me but I think this is going to be hard for me.

Well that was quite the tangent so lets get back to the post. Other than those things I am still pretty much blogging about the same things. I really haven’t changed what I blog about because I have always just blogged about my life and for the most part my life doesn’t change that much.

How has the past year been for you?

Mama’s Losin’ It-Changes over the last year

My Open Adoption Thoughts

June 13, 2012

I haven’t written anything about adoption in awhile so today I am going to talk about open adoption and why a totally open adoption isn’t for me. If you don’t already know open adoption is defined:

Open adoption is an adoption in which the biological mother or parents and adoptive family know the identity of each other. In open adoption, the parental rights of biological parents are terminated, as they are in “closed adoptions” and the adoptive parents become the legal parents, yet the parties elect to remain in contact. Open adoption has become the norm in most states in the adoption of newborns.

Source: Wikipedia

At this point I would consider the adoption of my daughter to be semi open or even almost closed. I get a card from them on Christmas and if during the year I want to an update I email them and ask for one and I am 100% okay with that. I know that some people won’t understand why I am okay with so I am going to try and explain it as best as I can.

For the first year I got letters and pictures pretty regularly and to be honest every time I got pictures and a letter it brought back all of the emotions. Once the letters and pictures stopped coming as regularly and now have pretty much stopped I have found been able to heal and stop living in the past.

Now that isn’t saying that I don’t think of her because I think of her every day but I feel that I am not stuck in the past. In order for me to heal and get at the place I where I can now talk about it to anyone with out getting depressed I had to put everything that reminded me of her away. I found that when I had her things out that I was dwelling on the pain and not living my life.

I am so glad that my adoption is how it is because it has allowed me to live my life and heal from the pain. Now there are still times that it is hard for me but those times are few and far between anymore.

Healing

June 5, 2012

My best friend, okay she is more like a sister, had her baby on May 25. I haven’t set foot in labor and delivery since I had and placed my daughter for adoption almost 7 years ago. I that being there for her was going to be hard and it was going to bring emotions to the top that I hadn’t dealt with. What I didn’t realize at the time was how healing it was going to be for me to be there with her and the baby.

After I got off of work I headed to the hospital and right when I pulled into the parking lot I broke down and started to cry. I had to sit in my cry for a few minutes because the last thing she needed was to see me crying when see was in labor. After I few minutes I got it together and I went into the hospital. I didn’t really know where to be so I just stayed in the hall right outside the room she was in.

After she had him and we all came in the room and they asked me if I wanted to hold him all I could do was shake my head no. My eyes filled up with tears and it was all I could do to keep from leaving the room. To be honest in that minute I didn’t know if I would even hold him while he was in the hospital. Every time I thought about holding him it brought all the emotions I had pushed to the background and hadn’t dealt with.

After they got her up to her postpartum room and her boyfriend left so he could run home and do a few things I stayed so that she wouldn’t have to be alone. I didn’t want her to be alone because I know when I had my daughter it was hard to be in the hospital all alone. After it was just the 3 of us I knew it was time to hold him and start to deal with the emotions.

After I held him for a little bit I realized that he did something for me that I didn’t know he could. I can’t put into words what he did but he healed a part of me that I thought would always be broken. He is so special to me because he will never know what he did for me and that is okay but he will always be a huge part of my life.

Adoption-Pure Love

April 30, 2012

I am sure that most of you know by now that I place my daughter for adoption when I was 20. She will be 7 in July and it is so hard to believe that it has been 7 years since I have been pregnant. I never thought I was going to make it through the first year let alone 7 years.

I recently found a blog by Tiffany who recently adopted a little girl. As I was reading through the story of her adoption I found a part in her post that put into words things I have wanted to say for 7 years but could never find the words. Here is the quote:

I deeply resent the people who have said, about birth parents, “I can’t imagine ever giving away my child.”

The pain involved in the choice to place (not give away) your child for adoption is one most of us cannot imagine. The reason it is painful is because when we love someone, our instinct is to hold tight and never let go. This instinct isn’t really the love itself but rather our own heart’s selfish desire to protect itself from the pain of loss.

But birth parents understand that truly loving someone can mean letting go. It can mean wanting more for your child than you feel you can give.

It is utter selflessness. It is true courage. It is pure love.

I read this quote to my grandma the other night and it brought tears to her eyes. This says everything that I felt when I placed my daughter but have never found the words to express. There isn’t much I can really say about it because she says everything that is in my heart. I really recommend that you should go and check out her blog and read the whole story of her adopting their newest little girl.

What do you guys think of her quote?