MISTI

Changes Over The Last Year

Wow this past year has changed me in so many ways. I can’t even imagine where I would be if my life hadn’t changed that much.  I am going to write about the changes over the last year for me and some of the people in my life. All the changes has been so good for me and also for the people that are in my life.

It was this time last year that they let Misti go at work. I still remember the day they let her go like it was yesterday even though I still wish that is was just a bad dream and that I could wake up for it. I don’t know that it will ever be the same here without her being here. It is even harder to wrap my head around the fact that she has had a baby and is now a mother.

Also anyone who has followed my blog from the start will know that my daughters birthday is coming up and that always makes it a tough time of year for me. I am finding that this year is going to be harder than some of the past years have been. It is always hard to gauge how a year will be for me but I think this is going to be hard for me.

Well that was quite the tangent so lets get back to the post. Other than those things I am still pretty much blogging about the same things. I really haven’t changed what I blog about because I have always just blogged about my life and for the most part my life doesn’t change that much.

How has the past year been for you?

Mama’s Losin’ It-Changes over the last year

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Healing

My best friend, okay she is more like a sister, had her baby on May 25.  I haven’t set foot in labor and delivery since I had and placed my daughter for adoption almost 7 years ago.  I that being there for her was going to be hard and it was going to bring emotions to the top that I hadn’t dealt with.  What I didn’t realize at the time was how healing it was going to be for me to be there with her and the baby.

After I got off of work I headed to the hospital and right when I pulled into the parking lot I broke down and started to cry.  I had to sit in my cry for a few minutes because the last thing she needed was to see me crying when see was in labor.  After I few minutes I got it together and I went into the hospital.  I didn’t really know where to be so I just stayed in the hall right outside the room she was in.

After she had him and we all came in the room and they asked me if I wanted to hold him all I could do was shake my head no.  My eyes filled up with tears and it was all I could do to keep from leaving the room.  To be honest in that minute I didn’t know if I would even hold him while he was in the hospital.  Every time I thought about holding him it brought all the emotions I had pushed to the background and hadn’t dealt with.

After they got her up to her postpartum room and her boyfriend left so he could run home and do a few things I stayed so that she wouldn’t have to be alone.  I didn’t want her to be alone because I know when I had my daughter it was hard to be in the hospital all alone.  After it was just the 3 of us I knew it was time to hold him and start to deal with the emotions.

After I held him for a little bit I realized that he did something for me that I didn’t know he could.  I can’t put into words what he did but he healed a part of me that I thought would always be broken.  He is so special to me because he will never know what he did for me and that is okay but he will always be a huge part of my life.

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Simple Things

Mama’s Losin’ It

This week for the Writers Workshop I am going to write about 1.) The simple things..

It is the simple things in life that make me happy:

Going home and chasing my girls around the house

Or listening to Sylvia “bark” like she is a dog

Hanging out with Misti just talking and laughing

Designing blogs for people

Laughing at the crazy things that people will say or do

Being around my grandma who can always make me laugh

Blogging

Reading good books

With out all the simple things that make me happy life would be depressing!

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Long Week

It has been a super long week.  The men that I work with are getting meaner all the time and I am not sure how much more I can deal with it.  I don’t understand why they feel that yelling at me or Misti is going to get their problems taken care of faster.  If I get yelled at by the guys I always make sure that I do what they were yelling about very last just because I am pissed.  I get so tired of getting yelled at about things are out of my control.  How hard it is to understand that I only enter in orders.  I have no idea about credits and if the customer is put on credit hold it isn’t my problem that we can’t invoice them out and or enter an order for them.  I am really at the end of my rope when it comes to dealing with the men and having them be total assholes to me all the time.  I am just going to start staring at them when the freak out and if they calm down I will try and help them.  If they don’t calm down then I am going to refuse to help them.  They treat Misti & I like we are stupid idiots that don’t do anything.  If Misti or I were to quit everyone would be in a world of hurt.  Hell I don’t even think the guys know how to work the phones let alone use the accounting program.  I really with there was a way to show the guys how things would run if one of wasn’t around.  They have no idea of how much Misti and I really do.
Yesterday was also my infusion and that always takes a lot out of me.  I don’t know why it makes me tired but it sure does.  I am so glad that it is over and I don’t have to worry about it until next month.  I am sure getting tired of the infusions and taking time off work so that I can get them done.  When I take days off of work I want to do fun things and not spend 4 hours or so at the cancer clinic getting medication put into my body.  One good thing is that my liver is doing super well which is a great thing.  I have to wonder how long my liver is going to hang in there though.  I has to deal with so many chemicals because of all the medications I am forced to take because of this damn disease. 

That is enough of this for now.  I will be back!  Have a great weekend and…..

GO PACKERS!!!!!!!!!!!

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Day 15-Something or Someone You couldn’t live without & Random Dozen

There are a few things I couldn’t live without.

First off I have to say my girls Elinore and Sylvia.  Even though they can be the biggest pain in my ass most days.

There is Misti because she is more like family than my own family.  We have are moments but all sisters do!

I also couldn’t live with out my Macbook and my Blackberry!


1. What is your favorite fair/carnival food?
I love the Indian Fry Bread!  I shouldn’t eat it but I could eat it all day long while I am at the fair.
2. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
People-I need to just forget about them and move on that is for sure but for me it is a hard thing to do.
3. What is your favorite gift to receive?
Something from the heart!  I don’t care what it is as long as it is from the heart.
4. When was the last time you tried something new?
It has been awhile because I don’t like change.
5. What is your favorite and least favorite book genre?
Right now I am really into mystery books.
6.Silver or Gold?
Silver
7. What makes you sigh?
Stupid people
8. If you didn’t know how old you are, how old would you claim you are?
21!!!!
9. Would you break a law to save a loved one? To protect a loved one?
Nope If you did the crime you can do the time!  I couldn’t bring myself to do something dumb and against the law just to save someone.
10. If you had to teach something, what would it be?
 Something about Facebook or Blogging!
11. You’re having lunch with 3 people whom you respect and admire. They begin to criticize a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. What do you do?
Stick up for the person!  I always stick up for my friends even if it makes me the odd man out.
12. Which of the 5 Love Languages is your prominent means of experiencing love?
Quality Time
Physical Touch
Acts of Service
Gifts
Words of Affirmation