Birthday

Adoption Thoughts- A Hard Year

 

Adoption Thoughts

I wanted to do another post in my adoption thoughts series because I haven’t done one in awhile.  If you want to read any of my past posts in this series, you can click here to check them out.  This post is going to be about how hard this year has been since I

July 7th will mean that eleven years has gone by since I placed my daughter for adoption.  I can’t believe it has been that long since I had her.  I have found myself thinking more and more about her this year, and I think that is because I had to put Alley Cat to sleep earlier this year.

I have always said that Alley was my replacement baby, and now that she is gone I can’t stop being taken back eleven years.  There are some days that it seems like it all just happened a few days ago.  I can still remember all the feelings and how I felt the moment I handed her off to her parents.

I feel like I just can’t wait for this year just to be over so that I won’t have to think about it anymore.  Even as I type that, I know that just because her birthday passes it won’t just go away.  I know that only time will make it not hurt as much, and I hate waiting for time to pass because it seems to take forever.

There isn’t anything that I want to say other than that I am struggling with everything this year.  I just want to go to sleep and not wake up until the middle of July.  I know that it won’t make it better or make it hurt less, but I hope that by getting the thoughts out of my head and written down will help me deal with it all.  That is all I have to say, and I am hoping to have another post about adoption up on her birthday.

*I did write a post earlier this year about saying goodbye to Alley so if you want to check that out, you can click here to read that post.
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Taking The Week Off!

I Am How Old?!?!?!?!

 

How OldAt that beginning of September I had an appointment with my Multiple Sclerosis doctor to get the results for my latest MRI.  I have an update coming up that will let everyone know the results and all the fun stuff.

Anyways back to the story at hand.  I was sitting in the office meeting with the doctor and she asked me how old I was.  I said I was 26 and left it at that.  Well after I got home from the doctors I started to wonder if I was actually 26 or if I was 27.

I was looking at the print out that they gave me after my appointment that says what we are doing and when my next appointments are.  The paper said that I was 27.  I had to go and ask my grandma how old I was and she said she thought I was 27.  Well come to find out I spent all year thinking I was 26 and turning 27 next month.  Looks like I was wrong and I am turning 28 next month so I vote that I get to have two birthdays because I got two years older this year!

All I can say is that I get to have two birthdays this year and I feel like a total idiot!!!! Gotta love not knowing how old you are!  The other funny thing is as long as I can remember everyone in my family has always forgotten how old I am so I guess I am just following their lead!

What is one thing you forgot that you shouldn’t have forgotten?

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Changes Over The Last Year

Wow this past year has changed me in so many ways. I can’t even imagine where I would be if my life hadn’t changed that much.  I am going to write about the changes over the last year for me and some of the people in my life. All the changes has been so good for me and also for the people that are in my life.

It was this time last year that they let Misti go at work. I still remember the day they let her go like it was yesterday even though I still wish that is was just a bad dream and that I could wake up for it. I don’t know that it will ever be the same here without her being here. It is even harder to wrap my head around the fact that she has had a baby and is now a mother.

Also anyone who has followed my blog from the start will know that my daughters birthday is coming up and that always makes it a tough time of year for me. I am finding that this year is going to be harder than some of the past years have been. It is always hard to gauge how a year will be for me but I think this is going to be hard for me.

Well that was quite the tangent so lets get back to the post. Other than those things I am still pretty much blogging about the same things. I really haven’t changed what I blog about because I have always just blogged about my life and for the most part my life doesn’t change that much.

How has the past year been for you?

Mama’s Losin’ It-Changes over the last year

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