Who Knew. . .

Who Knew

In a post that I wrote a few weeks ago I talked about how my brother now has a baby who is going to be three months old next week.  Up until my brother had this baby I haven’t really been around babies since I placed my daughter for adoption almost 9 years ago.

I now realize how much I truly missed of her growing up.  I knew logically what I missed but since I hadn’t ever really taken care of a baby I didn’t get to see first hand what I missed with her.  Having my brothers son around has made me realize what I have missed and make me miss her.  That being said I don’t regret my choice because I know without a doubt that she is where she needs to be it has made me miss the milestones I never got to see.

It is crazy how 9 years later I am finally realizing everything that I missed out on.  I am sure most people figure it out sooner than I have but everything happens in gods time and I don’t know how I would have dealt with it if it happened any sooner than now.  Since I have always had to deal with everything having to do with the adoption alone I am glad that I didn’t have to see what I was missing sooner because I couldn’t have dealt with it any sooner than now.

I truly believe god knew that  I couldn’t have dealt with it any sooner than now so he made sure I didn’t have to deal with it.  There are times when I take care of my brothers son that I have to give him to my grandma and walk away because it hurts.  There are many nights that I find myself crying again because seeing how much I missed out on is hard for me.   I just wish it still wasn’t hard dealing with everything because I know it was the right choice for her and for me.

Margaret Tidwell

I am a 32-year-old blogger. I write about my life and my struggles with Multiple Sclerosis. I also am a huge book worm and I have been doing book reviews for years now. I also blog about adoption, Multiple Sclerosis, and things that go on in my life.

Margaret Tidwell

Margaret Tidwell

Margaret Tidwell

Margaret Tidwell

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  1. I am an adoptee. I never gave much thought about my birth mother until I became a mother myself at 25. You are on the right path! Enjoy every moment with your nephew. Love the people in your life and the healing will come!