MY BIRTHDAY AND THE INFUSION

WELL LETS JUST SAY MY BIRTHDAY WAS FULL OF SURPRISES AND I DON'T KNOW THAT ANY OF THEM BUT ONE WERE GOOD. SO I AM THINKING BEING 24 HOLDS MANY MORE UPS AND DOWNS FOR ME. IT COULD MAKE THIS A VERY LONG YEAR. I GUESS I SHOULD START AT THE BEGINNING OF THE DAY.

MY GRANDMA BOUGHT ME ROSES LIKE SHE HAS SINCE I WAS SIXTEEN. THESE ARE WHAT SHE GOT ME! SHE ALSO GAVE A CARD AND MY JACKET THAT SHE SHRUNK SO SHE HAD TO GET ME A NEW ONE. ANYWAY SO THE DAY STARTED REALLY GOOD AND I WAS HOPEFUL IT WOULD STAY THAT WAY. WE TOOK THE GIRLS TO PETCO TO GET THEM BATHED AND GROOMED. THEN I HAD TO GO TO THE CHIROPRACTOR AND GET ADJUSTED BECAUSE MY BACK HAD BEEN KILLING ME. WELL WHEN WE PULLED IN TO HIS PARKING LOT MY PHONE RANG. I DIDN'T KNOW THE NUMBER AND USUALLY I DON'T ANSWER IF I DON'T KNOW THE NUMBER BUT I THOUGHT IT COULD HAVE BEEN ABOUT THE GIRLS OR THE UNIVERSITY OF UTAH. SO I ANSWERED IT AND LETS JUST SAY I SHOULD HAVE IGNORED IT! IT WAS A LADY NAMED HEATHER AND THE FIRST THING SHE SAID TO ME WAS HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I WAS LIKE WHO IN THE HELL IS THIS. SHE THEN PROCEEDS TO EXPLAIN THAT SHE IS MY FATHERS WIFE. I WAS LIKE OK AND WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME. SHE WANTS TO SURPRISE MY DAD WITH ME I GUESS. I AM NOT REALLY SURE ALL I KNOW IS THAT I AM NOT A MONKEY AND I DON 'T KNOW IF I CAN GO AND BE NICE TO HIM. SO I TOLD HER I WILL SHOW UP BUT I WON'T GUARANTEE THAT I WILL STAY. SHE SAID OK I WILL STAY IN TOUCH WITH YOU. I WAS LIKE YA SURE. I WILL MAKE SURE I DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE WHEN I DON'T KNOW THE NUMBER NOW.
THE NEXT THING THAT WENT CRAZY WAS THE INFUSION. I SWEAR NOTHING IN MY LIFE GOES SMOOTHLY THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING THAT GOES WRONG. THE INFUSION OF THE MEDICATION WASN'T BAD AT ALL. IT WAS ABOUT THIRTY MINUTES AFTER THAT IT GOT REALLY INTERESTING TO SAY THE LEAST. THEY MAKE YOU STAY AND HOUR AFTER THE INFUSION OF THE MEDICATION TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T HAVE A REACTION. SO THIRTY MINUTES BEFORE I GET TO LEAVE I STARTED TO BURN UP INSIDE. IT LITERALLY FELT LIKE MY MUSCLES WERE ON FIRE. SO THEN THEY PROCEED TO START ANOTHER IV AND GIVE ME BENADRYL AND LOTS OF FLUIDS FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS. I FINALLY GOT TO LEAVE AT LIKE 5:30 PM BUT ONLY BECAUSE I LIED AND SAID IT WENT AWAY. IF I HADN'T LIED I AM SURE I WOULD HAVE SPENT ALL OF THANKSGIVING THERE TOO. HERE IS A PICTURE OF MY BATTLE WOUND AS I CALL THEM FROM ONE OF THE MANY IV'S I HAD THAT DAY.

JOSH ALSO ORDERED ME FLOWERS I WAS SO SHOCKED WHEN I GOT HOME FROM THE INFUSION CENTER. THEY WERE SO PRETTY AND I REALLY LOVE THE VASE THEM CAME IN. HERE IS A PICTURE OF THEM.

SO LETS JUST LEAVE IT AT MY BIRTHDAY WAS BUSY AND CRAZY. I AM GLAD THAT IT ALL WORKED OUT IN THE END AND I WILL KEEP HOPING THAT IT WILL BE OK FOR THE NEXT INFUSION.

COUNTING DOWN TO THE BIG DAY

WELL I AM ON COUNT DOWN TO THE BIG DAY. IT SEEMS LIKE MY BIRTHDAY HAS SO MANY THINGS GOING ON IN ONE DAY THAT I DON'T KNOW HOW I WILL KEEP UP. I AM TRYING TO KEEP MYSELF BUSY BUT I MAY BE KEEPING MYSELF TO BUSY. I GUESS ALL I CAN DO IS TRY AND KEEP UP. I KNOW THAT THE BIG STRESSFUL THING WILL BE THE INFUSION. ONCE I GET THROUGH THAT I WILL BE GOOD TO GO OR AT LEAST THAT IS WHAT I HOPE. I AM HOPING THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY SIDE EFFECTS FROM IT BUT I WON'T KNOW TIL AFTER IT. THE DOCTOR SAID MOST PEOPLE HAVE HEADACHES AFTER SO IF THAT IS ALL I HAVE I WILL BE OK. I HAVE HEADACHES ALL THE TIME SO THAT DOESN'T WORRY ME.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

ANOTHER DAY HAS COME. NOT SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT BUT I GUESS I CAN'T STOP THE DAYS FROM COMING. THEY JUST COME AND WE DEAL WITH THEM. THERE ARE DAYS LIKE TODAY THAT I WISH I COULD SLEEP AND TRY AGAIN THE NEXT DAY. BUT I CAN'T DO THAT SO I JUST KEEP GOING ON. TODAY IS JUST ONE OF MY SAD DAYS I GUESS. OH WELL RIGHT I WILL ALWAYS HAVE THE UP AND DOWNS I GUESS. I WILL NEVER BE JUST HAPPY. I THINK I WILL ALWAYS HAVE MY UPS AND DOWNS. I GUESS NO ONE IS ALWAYS HAPPY.

JOSH AND I ARE DOING OK I HOPE. I FEEL LIKE I AM JUST WAITING FOR THE BALL TO DROP. I AM TRYING TO THINK THINGS WILL WORK BUT I AM SO UNSURE ANYMORE. I AM AFRAID IF I HAVE A BAD DAY THAT HE WILL SAY SHE YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED AND LEAVE. I DON'T KNOW THAT HE GETS HOW HARD I AM TRYING. I REALLY AM TRYING TO CHANGE THE THINGS I NEED TO WORK ON. I HOPE HE CAN SEE THAT AND I HOPE THAT HE CAN UNDERSTAND THAT I AM TRYING TO CHANGE AND THAT I WILL ALWAYS HAVE BAD DAYS. I WILL ALWAYS WORK ON IT EVEN IF HE DOES LEAVE. I WILL DO WHAT I NEED TO DO TO BE A BETTER PERSON.

THE MS IS GETTING WORSE BUT IT ISN'T GETTING ANY BETTER THAT IS FOR SURE. I GUESS IT IS GOOD THAT I AM STABILIZING AND NOT GETTING WORSE. I AM JUST LEARNING TO DEAL WITH IT EVERY DAY. I AM GOING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO ALL THE THINGS THAT I USED TO DO. ALL I CAN HOPE IS THAT THE MEDICINE WILL STABILIZE ME AND HELP ME NOT GET ANY WORSE. I AM SO WORRIED ABOUT THE SIDE EFFECTS AND THE RISK OF PML. I AM SCARED TO BE DISABLED AND OR DEAD. BUT I HAVE THE FAITH THAT I WILL BE OK AND THAT THIS MEDICINE WILL WORK AND HELP ME. IF THIS DOESN'T WORK I AM OUT OF OPTIONS. I WILL JUST GET WORSE AND WORSE. SO ALL WE CAN DO IS HOPE AND PRAY THAT IT WORKS AND I DON'T GET THE PML CONDITION.

IT HAS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I HAVE POSTED AND NOT MUCH HAS REALLY HAPPENED. IT IS RARE IN MY LIFE FOR THINGS TO BE OK AND THEY ARE FOR THE MOST PART. I AM STILL WORKING ON MY DEMONS AND TRYING TO FIX THINGS WITH ME THAT NEED TO BE FIXED.

I HOPE JOSH MAKES IT HOME FOR MY BIRTHDAY SO THAT HE WILL BE THERE WHEN OR AFTER I GET MY FIRST INFUSION DONE. I REALLY WANT HIM AROUND WHEN I GET IT DONE SO THAT I KNOW I AM OK. I KNOW I WILL BE OK IT WILL JUST BE NICE TO HAVE HIM HERE FOR IT. NOT TO MENTION IT WILL BE NICE TO HAVE HIM HERE FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

WE HAVE NO IDEA YET WHAT WE ARE DOING FOR THANKSGIVING BUT WE WILL FIGURE IT OUT. WE WILL PROBABLY GO OUT AND EAT JUST THE TWO OF US BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND MY COUSINS OR MY UNCLE. SO I AM NOT GOING THERE TO EAT I WOULD RATHER GO OUT AND BE ALONE THEN BE AROUND THEM. ALL THOUGH IT WOULD BE NICE FOR THEM TO SEE I AM LOSING WEIGHT AND THAT THEY AREN'T. BUT THAT IS MARGARET BEING MEAN AND MARGARET IS TRYING TO BE NICE! SO I WILL RESIST THE URGE.

SENIOR MOMENTS

I GOT THIS EMAIL AND IT REMINDED ME OFF MY OLD JOB! I HAD TO POST IT FOR OTHERS TO READ. ENJOY!

LOST IN THE DARNDEST PLACES:

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes later, the officer radios in. 'Disregard.' He says. 'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'

FAMILY:

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' She >starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down?' The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.'

'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.'And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.'

LITTLE LADY:

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.'He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the >soup.'

OLD FRIENDS:

Now this one is just too Precious...LOL! Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me .. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.' Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'

SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!'

DRIVING:

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.' After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a r0w!? You could have killed us both!'Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving ?'

145!!!!!!

I AM THE SMALLEST I HAVE BEEN POST BRITA!!!!!! I AM NOW AT 145. I AM SO EXCITED I CAN'T EVEN PUT IT INTO WORDS. I FEEL LIKE I HAVE WORKED SO HARD FOR THIS AND I AM FINALLY LOSING AGAIN. I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING DIFFERENT THEN I HAVE BEEN DOING. I AM NOT SURE WHAT IS MAKING THE POUNDS COME OFF. OH WELL I AM NOT COMPLAINING AT ALL. I AM REALLY EXCITED THAT I AM GETTING BACK TO WHERE I WANNA BE AT. SO WE ALL NEED TO DO A HAPPY DANCE!

WELL WE TALKED TO PAUL ABOUT MY DOCTORS APPOINTMENT. HE SAID IT WAS OK! SO I WENT AHEAD AND MADE MY FIRST APPOINTMENT FOR MY BIRTHDAY. IT JUST HAPPENS THAT I AM OFF THAT DAY SO IT IS THE EASIEST DAY THIS MONTH TO HAVE IT DONE. SO NOW I AM GOING TO BE NERVOUS ABOUT ALL OF IT UNTIL IT HAPPENS. I DON'T EVEN WANNA IMAGINE THE DAY OF WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE. OH WELL THIS IS THE LAST OPTION I HAVE AT THIS POINT SO I HAVE TO TAKE IT.

WELL MY BOSS SAYS THE PILLS ARE WORKING SO I WILL BELIEVE HER. SHE HAS NEVER LIED TO ME YET. NO ONE ELSE HAS BEEN ABLE TO TELL YET BUT THEY AREN'T AROUND ME VERY MUCH. I HOPE WHEN JOSH GETS HOME HE WILL SEE I HAVE CHANGED. I KNOW I AM TRYING AND I WILL STILL HAVE HARD DAYS BUT I KNOW I CAN DO IT AND NOT BE SO ANGRY ALL THE TIME. THAT IS MY GOAL IS TO NOT BE SO ANGRY AND HOPE IT IS ENOUGH. IF HE LOVES ME IT WILL BE ENOUGH.

NEW PILL

SO I HAVE STARTED ON MY NEW PILLS AND IT MAKES ME TIRED. BUT I CAN LIVE WITH THAT. SO LETS HOPE IT HELPS CONTROL MY MOODS A LITTLE BIT SO I AM NOT AS CRAZY AS I ONCE WAS. SO THE INSURANCE WILL PAY 80% OF THE TYSABRI WHICH IS GOOD, BUT THEY DON'T DO THE INFUSIONS ON SATURDAY OR AT LEAST MY DOCTOR DOESN'T DO THEM. SO NOW I HAVE TO GO TO PAUL AND SEE IF I CAN LEAVE 4 HOURS EARLY ONCE A MONTH. WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENS MY GRANDPARENTS THINK THAT I NEED TO DO IT SO WE WILL TALK TO PAUL AND SEE WHAT HE HAS TO SAY. IF HE WON'T LET ME THEN I CAN'T DO IT CAUSE I CAN'T AFFORD TO NOT HAVE THIS JOB RIGHT NOW. SO WE WILL SEE. IT IS ALWAYS A WAITING GAME FOR ME ANYMORE.

DOCTORS APPOINTMENT

WELL YESTERDAY WAS THE BIG DOCTORS APPOINTMENT. SHE SAID I HAD LOTS OF OLD STUFF AND ONE ACTIVE SPOT IN MY NECK, WHICH IS PROBABLY CAUSING MY HANDS TO BE LIKE THEY ARE. SO I FILLED OUT THE PAPER WORK FOR THE TYSABRI WHICH IS A DANGEROUS DRUG, BUT TO ME THE RISK IS WORTH THE CHANCE. THE WEB SITE IS WWW.TYSABRI.COM IF YOU WANNA LOOK AT IT AND SEE WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT. SHE ALSO GAVE ME SOMETHING TO HELP STABILIZE MY MOODS. SO I HOPE THIS WILL WORK AND HELP ME OUT. I TAKE THAT BACK IT WILL HELP ME OUT. I KNOW IT WILL WORK AND MAKE IT EASIER FOR ME TO DEAL WITH THINGS AND NOT GET SO BITCHY!!!!!!!

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND

One day a man saw a old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her. Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry. He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you. He said, 'I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.' Well, all she had was a flat tire,but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt. As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enou gh for coming to her aid. Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid.This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way. He told her that if she rea l ly wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, 'And think of me..' He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight. A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on herfeet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she rem e mb ered Bryan .After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: 'You don't owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.' Under the napkin were four more $100 bills. Well, there were tables toclear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much s he an d her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard.... She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, 'Everything's going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.'

OBAMA

WELL I HAVE NEVER USED MY BLOG TO VOICE MY POLITICAL OPIONOS BUT AFTER WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY AND WHO WON I HAVE TOO. I AM DISAPPOINT IN THE AMERICAN PEOPLE FOR BELIEVING THAT OBAMA CAN ACTUALLY CHANGE ANYTHING. NO ONE CAN CHANGE ANYTHING IT IS CONGRESS THAT MAKES CHANGES NOT THE PRESIDENT. SO OK GREAT HE IS IN THERE NOW WATCH AND SEE THAT NOTHING CHANGES. OH WELL GUESS EVERYONE THAT WANTED HIM IN THERE CAN BE HAPPY THEY GOT WHAT THEY WANTED. NOW SEE THAT NOTHING WILL CHANGE. IF ANYTHING IT WILL GET WORSE.

ANYWAY ENOUGH ABOUT THAT WE WILL TALK ABOUT BRIGHTER THINGS. JOSH AND I ARE OK NO FIGHTS FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS NOW. WHICH IS A REALLY REALLY LONG TIME FOR US TO GO WITH OUT FIGHTING. SO IT IS DEFINATLEY A START AND HOPEFULLY A CHANGE THAT WILL LAST. I KNOW I AM TRYING AND I WILL KEEP TRYING. LETS HOPE HE WILL KEEP TRYING TOO.

SOUP

WELL IT IS MONDAY MORNING AND I HAD A HARD WEEKEND. THE MS IS GETTING REALLY BAD LATELY AND IT IS GETTING HARDER TO FUNCTION AND DO WHAT USUALLY DO. SO ON SATURDAY AFTERNOON MY GRANDMA HAD MADE A LOT OF SOUP FOR MY LITTLE BROTHERS DRILL. SHE GAVE ME SOME AND I WAS CARRYING IT NOT SURE WHERE I WAS GOING OR WHAT I WAS DOING BUT I DROPPED IT ALL OVER THE KITCHEN FLOOR. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO KNOW ME YOU KNOW THAT THINGS LIKE THAT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I AM A RETARD. EVEN THOUGH I KNOW IT IS THE DISEASE IT STILL MAKES ME SAD AND DEPRESSED. AFTER I GOT THAT ALL CLEANED UP I DECIDED THAT I DIDN'T WANNA EAT ANYTHING AT ALL. I FINALLY DID EAT BUT NOT TIL LATER AFTER I WAS FORCED TOO.

AS FOR JOSH I THINK WE ARE GOING TO BE OK AT LEAST FOR NOW. ON FRIDAY NIGHT HE WENT OVER TO HIS COUSINS HOUSE AND I DIDN'T CARE AT ALL. BEFORE I WOULD HAVE FREAKED OUT AND BEEN SO MAD AT HIM, BUT THIS TIME I WAS LIKE COOL ENJOY YOUR TIME. HE WAS SHOCKED THAT I WASN'T MAD AND THAT I AM CHANGING. IT MAYBE A SLOW PROCESS BUT I AM CHANGING AND I KNOW I CAN AND WILL CHANGE MORE.

I HAVE MY APPOINTMENT WITH THE NEUROLOGIST ON WEDNESDAY. I AM SCARED FOR THAT. I REALLY DON'T KNOW THAT I WANNA KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME AND I DON'T WANNA KNOW THAT THE DISEASE HAS GOTTEN WORSE. I CAN TELL IT IS WORSE AND I DON'T NEED A TEST TO TELL ME THAT. I ALSO DON'T KNOW THAT I HAVE THE MONEY TO DO THE TREATMENTS. SO I MAY BE DOING NOTHING ABOUT IT. WHO KNOWS WE WILL SEE WHAT THEY SAY ON WEDNESDAY.