First – The World As I See It

Monthly Favorites – October 2016

October 27, 2016

How are we already at the end of October?!?!? My birthday is in less than a month, and I am so not ready to be thirty-two yet. I wish that there was a way to stop having birthdays once you reach a certain age.

Anyway, let’s get on to the things that I have loved from this past month. This first thing I have loved this month is a song by Shawn Mendes call “Stitches.” I heard this song on Pandora for the first time this month, and I have it on repeat most of the month. Here is the music video in case you haven’t heard it before.

I have also been loving the song “Rise” by Katy Perry. The first time I listened to this song it was a cover of the song Super Fruit. I will have the cover of it that I loved, and I will also include the video of Katy Perry as well in case you haven’t seen either of them.

I also have been loving these new Mentos that I found this month. The only place I have been able to find them is at a gas station that I pass on my way to work in the mornings. They remind me of Milk Duds, but they don’t stick to my teeth like Milk Duds do.

I have also been a huge fan of these freezer meals that I have gotten from the store they are called Evol. I love them because they have so many different choices. I had one that was vegan and I had another one that is gluten free. The boxes are all marked with what they are and they are so good. They are a little bit more expensive, but I don’t mind spending more on lunch items that are vegan and gluten free. Here is a picture of one if you are interested in seeing if your grocery store carries them.

The last thing I have been loving this month is the TV show “The First 48”. I have talked about this show in the past because it is a show I have been watching for years and I am sure I will keep watching it for years to come. I love watching as the detectives investigate and solve murders. It is something that has always interested me, and I am sure that it always will. It is on A&E in case you want to check it out.

Those are just a few things that I have loved this month. What have you enjoyed this month?

Adoption Thoughts- A Hard Year

June 21, 2016

I wanted to do another post in my adoption thoughts series because I haven’t done one in awhile. If you want to read any of my past posts in this series, you can click here to check them out. This post is going to be about how hard this year has been since I

July 7th will mean that eleven years has gone by since I placed my daughter for adoption. I can’t believe it has been that long since I had her. I have found myself thinking more and more about her this year, and I think that is because I had to put Alley Cat to sleep earlier this year.

I have always said that Alley was my replacement baby, and now that she is gone I can’t stop being taken back eleven years. There are some days that it seems like it all just happened a few days ago. I can still remember all the feelings and how I felt the moment I handed her off to her parents.

I feel like I just can’t wait for this year just to be over so that I won’t have to think about it anymore. Even as I type that, I know that just because her birthday passes it won’t just go away. I know that only time will make it not hurt as much, and I hate waiting for time to pass because it seems to take forever.

There isn’t anything that I want to say other than that I am struggling with everything this year. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up until the middle of July. I know that it won’t make it better or make it hurt less, but I hope that by getting the thoughts out of my head and written down will help me deal with it all. That is all I have to say, and I am hoping to have another post about adoption up on her birthday.

*I did write a post earlier this year about saying goodbye to Alley so if you want to check that out, you can click here to read that post.

Adoption Thoughts: Mother’s Day

May 21, 2014

Mothers Day was a few weeks ago and because it is a hard time for me I couldn’t bring myself to write this post at that time. I still wanted to write this post in hopes that it may help a birth mom out there know that she isn’t alone when it comes to hating Mothers Day. I never have been a huge fan of holidays like Mothers Day before but now I hate Mother’s Day.

Mother’s Day is hard for me because I am in a weird place in regards to being a mother in the eyes of people in the world. It is hard to know that you are a mother but to basically have everyone ignore the fact that you are. I try and make it a nice day for my Grandma but in the end I always end up just being sad. This is also one of days that I always wonder what it would have been like had I kept her and decided to parent. Now that being said I don’t regret my choices because I know I made the right choice for her but you can’t help but wonder sometimes.

I guess I just wish that people in the world we understand that there are different types of mothers and not every mother looks the same. Just like not all mothers become a mother the same way. It hurts me to see other mothers talk down to birth mom’s because of the choices we made for our children. It is also hard because if you don’t know a person placed their child then you have no idea. It is just a hard place to be and it makes Mother’s Day hard. It is also seemed from time to time on Mother’s Day that some people rub the fact that you placed your child for adoption in your face and think that he desire to be miserable and in pain on Mother’s Day.

Those are just a few thoughts that I have been having this year about Mother’s Day. I also wanted to share this video that I found last week. I knew I wanted to share it with everyone because it spoke to me and it was an amazing idea and it was an amazing video. I hope it also helps people see that there are different kinds of mothers in this world. Watch this video and let me know what you think in the comments below.

First Concert

August 8, 2013

The first concert I attend (or at least I think it was my first) was NSYNC. I was in 7th or 8th grade. I went with one of my best friends back then. I can still remember waiting in line to buy the tickets months and months before the show. I remember every little detail about the show and remember how I was the day after the show.

I remember I was super sad and depressed because I had looked forward to going to see them for months and months and then it was over and I felt like I didn’t have anything else to look forward to. I remember that my grandma laughed at me when I told her why I was sad and now that I look back at it I have to laugh as well. It crazy how I looked at things when I was younger and how big this concert was build up in my head. I did go and see them one more time along with a few other boy bands that were popular at the time.

Now that I am an adult I tend to want to go and see more comedians than music stars. I have seen Jeff Dunham twice and I loved every second of those shows. I stake his website so I will know when he come back and my brother and I can go and see him again. It is weird to me that I love music so much but the thought of going to a musical concert makes me head hurt now. When I was younger I loved the loud music at concerts and now I don’t think I would be able to stay through the whole thing no matter how much I loved the show.

Who did you see for your first concert? Do you like to see comedians or music stars more?