I guess it is time that I write about what is going with me and the Multiple Sclerosis because I haven’t really done an update in a while. If you were to look at my you wouldn’t be able to tell that anything is wrong with me because everything that is going on is on the inside or at least if I don’t tell you anything is wrong then you won’t know anything is wrong.
For the last 2 or 3 months I have been exhausted to say the least. I wrote a post earlier this week about how I am not sleeping but this exhaustion is so much more than just not sleeping. It is so hard for me to explain the difference between being tired because of lack of sleep or being exhausted because of the MS. I don’t think there really is away for me to explain it other than saying I am so tired that if I could stop breathing I would because that takes more energy than I have.
I know that my lack of sleeping isn’t helping the situation any either so that gets to me as well. I just feel like I am falling apart and we have no reason as to why I am feeling this way. I had an MRI done at the end of August and when I went to get the results my scanned showed that the disease hadn’t been active in the last six months. Which should be a great thing but I felt confused and pissed off by it. I really wish the scan would have shown something so that there was some sort of reason for why I am feeling the way that I am.
After my last appointment I started on a new medication and I have taken it for a month and haven’t seen any change in how I am feeling so I don’t know if it is working or not. She did say that I could take it twice a day and I haven’t done that yet because I already take so many pills that I hate taking more but I think I am going to try to take it twice a day for a couple of weeks and see what happens.
It is so hard having something like MS because it sucks when you can’t figure out what is wrong in order to try to fix it. I have to wonder if I am going to have an MS relapse soon because this is usually how you feel before you have one or it is at least how I have always felt before one. As of now I am “stable” but I don’t think I truly am. There has to be something going on and it just isn’t showing up on the MRI. My next MRI is in February and I see my doctor again at the beginning of March so we will see what happens in the next few months.