I was contacted by Sara and she wanted to write a guest post. She wrote about tips to cope with placing your child for adoption. Let me know what you think!
The decision to give your child up for adoption is a hard one, but coping with the aftermath of actually placing him or her in adoption is equally as hard if not harder. Once you do relinquish your baby you’re faced with an onslaught of emotions that are unparalleled to anything you’ve ever experienced and can be overwhelming to deal with on your own, even when you know that you’re ultimately doing the right thing. You’ve lost a part of you, and that’s hard no matter what the circumstances were that led you to the decision to place them in adoption in the first place. When faced with these feelings try to use these coping mechanisms:
1. Don’t close yourself off
As much as you may want to ignore the feelings and go on with your life as though nothing happened, it’s important to allow yourself time to grieve over the loss. Dealing with these feelings up front will help you heal quicker than if you try to bottle them up.
2. Recognize each stage of emotion
You likely will go through several stages of emotions: depression, guilt, anger, denial, and ultimately acceptance. Allow yourself time to fully experience each feeling and then let each one go. These feelings are normal and a necessary part of the healing process.
3. Find someone who can relate
Locate a support group or a mentor who can help you work through everything you’re feeling. Having someone to talk that has also been through all the same feelings you’re going through will provide you a crutch to lean on and to help you recover.
4. Write out your emotions
Start a journal or a blog that will allow you to chronicle your feelings. Writing in a journal can be very therapeutic for dealing with emotions and can allow you a way to voice all of your frustration and pain without worry of feeling judged by anyone. Also, blogging can open up a new community of support to you by connecting with other mothers who have also given up their child for adoption.
5. Find the good
If you made the decision to place your child up for adoption then it’s because you knew that you couldn’t give them what they needed and had enough foresight to see that someone else would be better suited to do so. As painful as this decision is, you should also rejoice in the fact that you chose to place them in a good and loving home.
Dealing with the grief over losing a child, even when it’s by choice, is a rocky road to travel. But there is light at the end of the tunnel so don’t give up hope. You may not ever be whole again, but you will recover.
Author Bio
Sara is an active nanny as well as an active freelance writer. She is a frequent contributor of nanny service. Learn more about her at: http://www.nannypro.com/blog/sara-dawkins/.
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