I can’t believe that is has been a year since Melissa passed away. Today is the day that she official died and to be honest it is still as raw as it was a year ago. I have tried to write this post for weeks and since I can’t seem to write it I am going to leave links to where you can read some of her writing.
Here is a post where people wrote some memories of her and I post it on my blog. Also she was a regular guest poster on my blog and you can see those post here or here. Also here is her obituary if anyone wants to read it or see it.
I am not sure if anyone remembers my friend Melissa who passed away last year. She had a blog that I was an author so before her hosting ran out I made sure that I downloaded all of her posts so that they wouldn’t be lost. I loved her writing and I know so many people through out the country loved to read what she wrote as well. I have decided that every once in awhile that I would find one of her posts and post it here because I know I can still learn from what she wrote and I think you guys can learn from it as well. I am in no way taking credit for the things she wrote. They are her words and as I have read through some of her posts I can’t help but smile because of who she was.
Enjoy and let me know if you would like to read more of her writing.
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Is there anyone you owe an apology to? Have you been neglectful in saying thank you to someone? Have you let some one know how much you appreciate them? I think it would be safe to say that almost all of us have failed to give an apology, forgotten to say thank you, and not told somebody how much we appreciated them. It happens with our families, coworkers, friends, and people we don’t know but interact with on a daily basis.
It often hurts and/or disappoints us when others fail to express their appreciation for a sacrifice we have made or service we have given. Guess what? We often hurt and/or disappoint others for the same reasons.
Most of us are very good at expressing our disapproval verbally and physically, but for some reason we often fail to share words of encouragement and appreciation. We have plenty of excuses for why we didn’t – there was not enough time, we forgot, we just did know what to say.
I have learned a couple if things about giving an apology, saying thank you, and expressing appreciation:
1. It only takes 30 seconds.
2. As long as you mean what you say, it does not matter how pretty it sounds.
Some examples:
Thank you. I know this was a sacrifice of your time, your emotion, and your finances.
I appreciate you. You have really gone out of your way to support me.
I apologize. Sometimes I get too busy and caught up in my own stuff that I am inconsiderate of others. I’m sorry.
Life is short. We have a very limited amount of time to say the important things. The words we let go unsaid, are often the ones that hurt is the most.
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This post was written by Melissa from Sugar Filled Emotions who passed away last year. Please ask before you take any part of this post because it is copyrighted to her.
I am sure most of you by now know that I love Kludgy Mom’s Idea Bank. There are so many topics and prompts so chose from that I love going over there and picking one to write about. If you are ever struggling to find things to post about I would go check outher site and I know you will find 100’s of things to write about! For this post I chose to write about: Is there someone who was in your life that you miss?
I chose this one because last week I read a book called “The Milestone Tapes” that I will be reviewing in a few weeks and it made me think of a few people that I really miss and I am sure I will miss them for the rest of my life.
The first person is my great grandma that passed away the spring semester of my senior year of high school. She died in April and I still remember it like it was yesterday I was super close with my great grandma and her dying was really hard on me. There are days that I sit back and wish she was still around so I could talk to her or listen to all the fun stories that she told me.
The other person that I miss is Melissa and she passed away in October of last year. I will always miss her because I did look up to her and she was always trying to make peoples days better. I knew her when she started blogging and we became really close. She was like a mom to me and it hurts to know that she is gone. I will always wonder what pushed her over the edge and why she did what she did. I also know from here that I can’t sit around and ask why things happened so I am living my life for both of us and I hope she is looking down and proud.
Those are 2 people that I will always miss but I know there will be more over the years but these two are the ones I miss right now.
I have had this post in my drafts for awhile now and I figured today is as good as any to post it. If you have other memories of Melissa please feel free to leave them and I will add them to this post.
Kathy Stricker left this message on Melissa’s Facebook page for me to use.
I remember the first time Melissa wrote on Facebook. It was beautiful.Melissa really touched my heart. I could feel her emotions..just flow out of her. I remember telling her “you can’t stop you have to keep on writing”. Melissa was so surprised by my reaction as I was by her response.I told her no..you keep going your Amazing. I believe in Melissa’s writing she touched all our hearts in a very special way. Melissa I will miss you so much TYSM for touching my heart & having me in your life…RIP xo
Stacey Burgess– Emailed me this about Melissa
So many of us here at her University were shocked by her passing, and I wanted someone to know that she touched my life just by knowing her. She was not only determined and motivated to be successful, but she shared so many stories with me of people that she helped through her blog. We would sit on the phone for hours, forgetting that we were supposed to be talking about her enrollment in school, and instead, laughing and talking about happy times, or discussing life’s tougher situations. I have admired her strength, and feel that I have learned a lot about life and survival and loving others… just by talking with her. I want her family to know that Melissa really will live on in the hearts of those, like myself, who she touched. She was so humble and sweet that she probably never realized how great of an impact she really had on other people! I will always smile when I think of the talks that we had, and I hope that time, love, laughter, and happy memories can heal the pain that you are all feeling.
Gala Gardiner-Emailed me this about Melissa
I dont’ have a ton of memories. I recently started following her blog and shared a few emails back and forth. Saddens me to not be uplifted by her any longer. She seemed to always have the brightest things to say on the days when I needed it most
David Merriman- He emailed me this about Melissa
I am Melissa’s academic counselor for her psychology program. I only had a few conversations with Melissa but she struck a chord with me the first time we spoke because of her pride in the advocacy work she was doing through her blog and social networking. It was clear over the phone how much this work helped her overcome her challenges and how much strength she gained while helping others find their strength. She was always one of my favorite students to talk to because of her positive energy.
It is unfortunate I didn’t get to work with her through to her degree but I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to work with her even for a short time. She is a great example of the amazing things we can accomplish when we resign ourselves to never give up.
If anyone else has any memories please feel free to either email me about them or leave them in the comments and I will update this post.
As you all know one of my best friends passed away on Sunday. I have tried many times to write this post and I have never been able to get words down on the screen. I have really struggled with this because it was such a shock to me. I was orginally going to write about what I love about her but I have decided that I am going to write a letter to her so that I can tell her everything that I never got a chance to do while she was alive.
* I am not going to get into what happened and other things that are going on as a result. I know Melissa would want me to keep living and let go of anger and hate.
Dear Melissa,
I miss you more and more everyday. I wish that you would have called me and let me know you were so down so that I could have helped you. I am writing this because I want to tell you and all my readers what I learned from you in the short time I knew you.
I learned how to be a better writer. You wrote posts that made people think and I hope that one day I can become as good as a writer as you were. Every post you wrote for my blog and even your own blog made me think and contemplate things in my own life. It takes an amazing writer to make people realize that they need to make changes in their lives just because of something you wrote.
I learned not to ever let people treat me bad. I saw what happened to you and I refused to let people do that to me. I show the toll it took on her and I don’t ever want people to control me.
I also learned that admitting you have a mental illness is nothing you need to hide. It was great to see that I can blog about things and there are people out there that won’t judge me and will understand. You are part of the reason I wrote my adoption story and started to post things that make me vulnerable. I guess I hope one day I have people come to my blog like you had going to yours!
I learned to look for join in the little things in life and how to deal with what life throws at me.
I will never forget you and everything you taught me. I promise that I will live the rest of my life for the both of us! I know I will see you again and I can’t wait til that day comes.
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