TODAY I HAD A MAJOR PANIC ATTACK AND I AM NOT SURE WHY OR WHAT CAUSED IT. IT JUST CAME ON AND NOW I AM REALLY REALLY PISSED OFF. IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYTHING IS JUST GOING WRONG. I GUESS THE THINGS THAT ARE GOING WRONG ARE DUMB THINGS THAT I USUALLY DON’T LET GET TO ME BUT TODAY THEY DID. OH WELL ALL I CAN DO IS TRY AND CALM DOWN AND NOT LET THINGS GET TO ME. THIS IS THE FIRST PANIC ATTACK THAT I HAVE HAD SINCE I STARTED ON THIS NEW MEDICATION. SO THE MEDICATION IS WORKING BUT I STILL NEED SOMETHING FOR DAYS LIKE TODAY THAT I HAVE THEM. I HAVE NEVER BEEN THE PERSON THAT HAS PANIC ATTACKS. SO ALL OF THIS IS NEW TO ME. I THINK I AM GOING TO START DOING YOGA AND WALKING AFTER WORK. MAYBE IF I WORK OUT I WON’T HAVE THEM AS MUCH. IT IS AT LEAST WORTH A TRY THAT IS FOR SURE.
LAST NIGHT WAS AN INTERESTING NIGHT TO SAY THE LEAST. I WOKE UP AND I HAD SYLVIA ON THE BED AND ELINORE ON MY HEAD. I WAS LIKE WTF??? I JUST ROLLED OVER AND WENT BACK TO SLEEP. I DIDN’T EVEN CARE THAT THEY WERE BOTH THERE. SYLVIA USUALLY DOESN’T SLEEP WITH ME SO LAST NIGHT WAS WEIRD TO WAKE UP AND HAVE HER ON THE BED. MY BED ISN’T BIG ENOUGH FOR TWO CATS AND A PERSON THAT IS FOR SURE.
I AM NOT SURE WHAT IS GOING ON WITH JOSH. I KNOW I LOVE HIM BUT I DON’T THINK HE IS SERIOUS ABOUT TRYING TO WORK THINGS OUT. I MEAN HE STILL HAS HIS GIRLFRIEND. SO I TOLD HIM YESTERDAY WHEN HE GETS RID OF HER WE WILL TALK. UNTIL THEN I AM NOT WASTING TIME WAITING FOR HIM. IF HE COMES BACK AND I AM SEEING SOMEONE THAT IS HIS LOSS NOT MINE. I CAN’T WAIT AROUND FOREVER. I REFUSE TO WASTE ANYMORE TIME ON HIM IF HE ISN’T SERIOUS ABOUT THIS.
I AM SO READY TO MOVE OUT OF MY HOUSE. I AM SO TIRED OF ALL THE DRAMA AND MY FAMILY. IT SEEMS LIKE THE WHOLE HOUSE IS ALWAYS FIGHTING AND I AM ALWAYS HIDING HOPING THAT THEY DON’T YELL AT ME OR MY KIDS. IT IS GETTING TO BE A JOKE THAT IS FOR SURE. I KEEP HOPING THAT MY LITTLE BROTHER WILL MOVE OUT BUT I DON’T EVER SEE THAT HAPPENING. HE COULD NEVER TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF HE IS TOO IRRESPONSIBLE. HE WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO PAY HIS BILLS AND LACHELLE IS NO GOOD EITHER. THEY WENT OUT AND SPENT LIKE $200 ON STUFF THAT SHE DIDN’T NEED. IT BUGS ME AND THEN THEY BOTH STINK ALL THE TIME BECAUSE THEY DON’T SHOWER VERY OFTEN, AND WHEN LACHELLE DOES SHOWER SHE TAKES LIKE 30 MIN SHOWERS AND THAT PISSES OFF GRANDPA.