WELL IT IS MONDAY AND I AM SO EXCITE FOR THAT. I AM HOPING THAT THIS WEEK DOESN’T HAVE AS MUCH DRAMA IN IT AS LAST WEEK DID BUT I AM GUESSING THAT IT DOES. MISTI IS GOING TO LAS VEGAS WITH RON AND I KNOW IT IS A BAD CHOICE. I KNOW THAT THINGS WILL GET BAD WITH HER AND RON AND HE COULD HURT HER. BUT LIKE I ALWAYS TELL HER SHE IS AN ADULT AND CAN DO WHAT EVER SHE WANTS TO DO. I WILL BE AROUND TO PICK UP THE PIECES LIKE I ALWAYS DO. I WISH SHE WOULD LEARN THAT SHE DESERVES BETTER BUT SHE HASN’T LEARNED IT YET. ALL I CAN IS PICK UP THE PIECES AND HOPE ONE DAY SHE LEARNS THAT SHE DESERVES BETTER.
LAST NIGHT I LEFT ELINORE OUTSIDE TIL LIKE 4 IN THE MORNING. I FELT SO BAD WHEN I REMEMBER THAT SHE WAS OUTSIDE. SHE WAS STILL MAD AT ME THIS MORNING WHEN I GOT UP. OH WELL IT TENDS TO HAPPEN MORE THAN NOT LATELY. I AM FINDING THAT I AM GETTING MORE PREOCCUPIED NOW. I CAN’T SEEM TO FOCUS ON ANYTHING I FIND THAT I AM GOING IN TEN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS ALL THE TIME. ANYWAY I GUESS SYLVIA WAS OUT UNTIL MIDNIGHT. THEY ARE BOTH GOING OUTSIDE AGAIN WHICH IS OK WITH ME BECAUSE THEY GO POTTY OUTSIDE AND I DON’T HAVE TO CLEAN LITTER BOXES. THAT IS THE ONLY THING I HATE ABOUT HAVING INSIDE CATS. OH WELL I DO IT BECAUSE IT HAS TO GET IT DONE. I WILL DO IT BECAUSE I LOVE MY CATS THEY ARE THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES ME SMILE ANYMORE.
I AM STILL STRUGGLING WITH LIFE RIGHT NOW. I FEEL LIKE I AM ALL ALONE AND NOW THAT MISTI WILL BE GONE I REALLY AM ALL ALONE. OH WELL I GUESS THAT IS LIFE AND I GUESS THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO DO. I SHOULD BE USED TO GOING THROUGH LIFE ALONE BUT I GUESS I AM LEANING ON PEOPLE TO MUCH ANYMORE. I NEED TO GET BACK TO ONLY DEPENDING ON MYSELF. I GUESS THAT IS LIFE THOUGH. PEOPLE WILL COME AND GO. I HOPE THAT ONE DAY I WILL BE OK AND THAT THE PAIN I AM FEELING WILL GO AWAY.
I GOT AN EMAIL FROM MY MOTHER YESTERDAY. AFTER I GOT DONE READING I REALIZED THAT I AM NOT GOING TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER. SHE DOESN’T GET IT AND THE WHOLE E-MAIL WAS FILLED WITH EXCUSES AND REASON WHY SHE IGNORES ME. I AM SO OVER EXCUSES. SHE NEEDS TO JUST BE HONEST AND SAY SHE DOESN’T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH US. SHE NEVER WILL SAY IT THOUGH SO I WILL SAY IT FOR HER. I AM DONE TRYING WITH HER. NOW AS FOR MY DAD I DON’T KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO DO WITH HIM. I HAVEN’T DECIDED YET WHAT THE RIGHT MOVE FOR ME IS YET. I THINK I NEED TO TAKE TIME AWAY AND FIGURE OUT WHAT I WANT TO DO.
MY LITTLE BROTHER COMES HOME TODAY. I AM NOT EXCITED FOR THAT. HE WILL BE FULL OF DRAMA AND MAKE LIFE A LIVING HELL FOR ME. HE CAN’T EVER SEEM TO BE NICE TO ANYONE. HE ALSO HASN’T BEEN TAKING HIS HAPPY PILLS SO THAT MEANS HE WILL BE EVEN WORSE. OH WELL HE DOES LIVE THERE SO I GUESS I HAVE TO RESPECT THAT AND JUST NOT GIVE HIM A REACTION WHEN HE IS ACTING LIKE A JACKASS.