A few weeks ago I was reading Dutch Being Me and she had these questions posted on her blog. I thought they would be super fun to answer. I won’t be answering them all in one post but in a couple of posts. These questions have no right or wrong answers. Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
22. Why are you, you?
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
25. What are you most grateful for?
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
32. If not now, then when?
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
Month: March 2011
NES Check In
It has been a few weeks since I have written a post about my fight trying to get over NES. I haven’t been doing well at all with it. I haven’t really been trying to hard because I am trying to get through the withdrawals symptoms that I am having since I have stopped Lexapro and started taking Zoloft. I didn’t really keep track of the days that I didn’t eat but I did really bad last night. I have been struggling with a few things lately and I think that is why I have been struggling with eating at night. I am really struggling with being single right now. I have really started to miss a few guys from my past but I know that they are there for a reason.
All I all it has been a rough few weeks but I am going to start working hard on it again and I hope that I will do better this week.
Letting Go Of Hate
You cannot hate other people without hating your self.
Oprah Winfrey
This has been a super hard post to write. I think this has been the hardest post I have had to write so far. I have been working on it on and off for months now and I keep erasing it. I just can’t seem to find the right words to write what I want to say. I know how I feel about the subject and what I am trying to say I just can’t get it written down right. This subject got brought up because I have such strong feeling towards child molesters and people don’t understand why I am trying to let go of the hate for the person that hurt me. Some people think that I am a hypocrite because I hate people that hurt children but I am still trying to let go of the hate I have been holding for the person that hurt me. I have come to realize that hating people does nothing to the person you hate. All it does is poison your soul and make you an angry hateful person. Now that being said it doesn’t mean letting go of hate is an easy thing to do. I have a few people that I “hate” and I am not sure if I will ever be able to forgive them for what they have done. I hope one day I will be able to but I can’t be sure if I will or not.
One of those people is Josh my husband. I know I need to let go of the hate I have for him but it is so much easier said than done. I know me being angry and hurt over the fact that he had to pick Christmas day to leave me isn’t doing anything to him. He gets to go on with his life and it doesn’t affect him. He probably doesn’t even think about it. It is so hard for me though because every year the pain comes back. I wish there were some way to erase the pain so that I could get past it. I am hoping in time I will be able to forgive him but I am not going to make any promises.
I hope that this post makes sense to everyone. I am sure that I will post about this topic again!
No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.
NELSON MANDELA, Autobiography
TYNT
It is time for another Thank You Note Thursday. All you have to do is grab the button, write your letters and come back and link up. These letters can be serious or sarcastic.
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Dear Jacqui,
I can’t thank you enough for teaching me how to design blogs and finding the cat graphic that I have for my design now! I will never be able to thank you enough.!
Margaret
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Dear Jacqui,
I can’t thank you enough for teaching me how to design blogs and finding the cat graphic that I have for my design now! I will never be able to thank you enough.!
Margaret
Dear Followers,
Thank you for following and leaving comments on my posts! It means a lot that you take the time to read and comment on what I write!
Margaret
Dear Idiots,
If you have something to say about me then say it to me! I am a big girl and can take it or better yet just shut it!!!!!!!!!!! I won’t take time for idiots and high school games!
Pissed Off Margaret
I hope everyone has a great Thursday!
A Rough Time
This last weekend was super tough for me. I am switching antidepressants because of my eating disorder and things are not going well at all. I had my infusion on Friday and I really think it messed with me bad. I literally slept all day Saturday so I didn’t take any of my pills. Then on Sunday I didn’t take them because I didn’t want to get sick. Let me tell you never again will I miss any days of taking my antidepressants. Now to top off the missing two days I am starting the new one. I am a total mess. I hate messing with antidepressants it is so stressful and not to mention emotional. I am sit and think today of everything and have to wonder how I have made it this far in life. I have gone through some major stuff and yet “most” days I am able to keep going and not think about all my past issues. Although the past few days though I find that I am barely hanging on by a thread. I find it hard to deal with all of my past issues right now. I know when I am evened out on my antidepressants that I am okay and I can deal with the day-to-day things going on. I sit at work with my personal life in chaos and can’t even get away because work is a joke right now. I never before have seen when it rains it pours come anymore true than right now.
I was getting to leave work yesterday and I broke down crying because I remembered like it was yesterday all the emotions and feelings I had when I placed my daughter for adoption almost 6 years ago. I sit here and I can remember all the feelings I felt when I saw her for the first time. She was about 12 hours old before I even saw and held her. When I went into the hospital I didn’t want to ever see her. Before I had her I felt that it would be easier for me if I never saw her or held her. I had called my night nurse for a pain pill. When the nurse came in with the pain pill she told me that it was time to feed my daughter and asked me if I would like to feed her. As I was sitting there in the middle of the night I knew it was something I needed to do. After the nurse brought her in and left the room I remember looking at my daughter and crying because I knew if a few short days I was going to place her with her family. I remember feeling so happy that she was here and perfect but so sad knowing that every minute that went by was one less minute I was going to have her with me. Then as I thought about it more all the feelings that I had when I was signing away my rights to her came back as well. I can remember sitting there with my social worker and two nurses with the pen in my hand and the paper in front of me thinking that if I didn’t hurry and sign the papers I never was going to be able to do it. I remember when I was down the great weight I felt on my shoulders and still have that weight today. I hoped then and still do hope that I did what was best for her. I pray every day that I truly did what God wanted me to do. I remember sitting there after I signed holding her and knowing that the time to say goodbye was there. We were all talking and I got quiet and started to tear up. I knew in my heart that it was time to hand her over to her family and walk away. I remember getting up and handing her off to her adoptive dad and then turning around and breaking down because of what was going on. I vaguely remember the adoptive mom asking if she could give me a hug and me saying no. At that point I watched as they walked out of the room with her. I then got in a wheel chair and left the hospital empty handed and broken hearted.
It is hard to be at work and feel all of that like it was happening yesterday. It is hard for me to feel all these emotions and know that they will pass soon but not sure how long I can hold out for that time to come. This post is just a lot of rambling but I hope it helps me because now it is out. There is more that I am feeling but I don’t have the emotional capacity to write about it now. I hope that everyone has had a better weekend than me. As for the NES update and an MS post I will hopefully pick those up again next week!
Thank You Note Thursday
It is time for another Thank You Note Thursday. All you have to do is grab the button, write your letters and come back and link up. These letters can be serious or sarcastic.
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Dear Winter,
It is time for you to go away for good!!!!! I am so tired of the snow and it being so damn cold. It is now March and I am so done with the snow and the freezing temperatures. I can only take a few months of winter driving and it is way past that point. Please leave now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Frozen & Snowed In
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Dear Winter,
It is time for you to go away for good!!!!! I am so tired of the snow and it being so damn cold. It is now March and I am so done with the snow and the freezing temperatures. I can only take a few months of winter driving and it is way past that point. Please leave now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Frozen & Snowed In
Dear Rude Callers,
It isn’t my problem that the men I work with don’t answer their phones and/or listen to their voice mails. If you wanna yell at someone yell at them!!! I am done getting yelled at for crap that isn’t my fault and having to still be nice after you yell at me!
Pissed Off Receptionist
It isn’t my problem that the men I work with don’t answer their phones and/or listen to their voice mails. If you wanna yell at someone yell at them!!! I am done getting yelled at for crap that isn’t my fault and having to still be nice after you yell at me!
Pissed Off Receptionist
Men I Work With,
ANSWER YOUR PHONE CALLS & LISTEN TO YOUR VOICE MAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pissed Receptionist