Month: November 2011

Letter To Brita

This post was originally posted last year during National Adoption Month.  I have updated it and I feel that this can still help other birth mom’s out there.

I had another post scheduled for today but after reading some blogs by couples are looking to adopt and watching a music video I knew in my heart that I needed to post this.  As I am writing this I am crying but it is something that I hope will help heal me in time.

It is national adoption month and it has hit me hard.  I have found blogs of great couples looking to adopted and I can’t help but get sad when I read them.  I feel so bad for them and yet it brings my own pain of being a birth mom up again.  It is something I haven’t totally dealt with because it hurts and no one likes to hurt.  I can’t believe my daughter is 6.  Right now it seems like just yesterday and I placed her for adoption.

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Dear Brita,

I can’t believe you are already 6 years old.  I remember like it were yesterday being pregnant with you and you pushing your feet so hard in my side that I would push it back and you would push even harder.  I remember the months of being sick while I was pregnant and finding out who where true friends and who weren’t.  I can remember going into labor and not wanting to be because I wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet.  I knew once you were born I was going to have to say goodbye and I didn’t know  how I was going to make it through saying goodbye.  I can remember watching you with your parents and know I was making the right choice but that didn’t make it hurt any less.  I can remember handing you to your dad and them walking out with you in their arms.  I remember the pain but I also know that it was the right option for you.  If I could go through it all again I would because I know without a doubt that You are where you are supposed to be.  I hope you grow up happy.  I would say and loved but I know they love you with all their hearts.  I hope you never doubt the love I have for you.  I will always love you no matter what you do.  I placed you because I knew I couldn’t give you what you deserved in life.  You deserve so much more than I could ever give you!  I know you will do great things in life and that is why I placed you.  In closing know that I love you and miss you everyday!!!!

Love,
Margaret

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Guest Post-Placing Your Child

Tips on Placing Your Child in Adoption

Adoption is never an easy decision – whether you’re the one placing a child in adoption or the one adopting. It’s a very emotional and personal experience, and one that requires intense thought and consideration. If you are ever in the position where you want or need to place your childin adoption, it’s safe to say you’re probably dealing with some very heavy emotions and in need of support, even if you know you’re doing the right thing and are happy to be doing so.

1.      Find Support

This can be done in the form of a support group, connecting with others who have been through the adoption process themselves, joining online forums, talking with a close friend or family member – anything that allows you to lean on someone during the highs and lows of the process. This is a life-changing experience and you need to make sure that you have all of your feelings sorted out as you navigate your way through the process.

2.      Do Your Homework

Spend time researching the different adoption agencies and make sure to find one that you feel fits you the best. This is a very personal decision and experience and you want to be sure that everyone is on the same page and that you feel that the people helping you find a new home for your child are doing their best to find a loving home for him/her.

 3.      Decide What Type of Relationship You Want to Have

Spend some time figuring out if you want to have an open, semi-open, or closed adoption. You will need to spend some time asking yourself some very serious questions: when you place the child in adoption, do you want that to be it or do you want to have some form of contact with them throughout the years?

4.      Figure Out What You Want for Your Child

Some agencies will let you pick the adopting parents while others will only let you give you opinion on what kind of family your child is adopted into. Figure out what kind of family you want your child raised in – is there a specific religion, do you want your child to be raised in a two-parent home, etc. Even if you aren’t able to pick the specific family that adopts your child, it’s still important to voice your opinion (if you have one) so that the agency can take that into consideration.

5.      Realize What You’re Doing

You are giving your child the opportunity to have a life that you are unable to provide – as hard as placing your child in adoption may be, realize that you’re not giving them up, but giving them life.

The process of placing a child in adoption can be a long and painful one, but in the end also a rewarding one. You are providing for your child in a way that allows them to have a life they wouldn’t otherwise have, and that is something to be celebrated.

Author Bio
Nancy Parker was a professional nanny and she loves to write about wide range of subjects like health, Parenting, Child Care, and Babysitting, find a nanny tips etc. You can reach her @ nancy.parker015 @ gmail.com.
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In Love

Adoption Awareness Month

Adoption Awareness Month

Unless you have adopted, or are planning to do so, you may know little about children who need homes. Given that it is adoption awareness month, it seems only appropriate to give some general information about the world of adoption.

According to the U.S. Department of Human Services, there are 1.8 million adopted children in the United States; these children account for 2 percent of all children in the United States. Of those:

• 75 percent were adopted domestically.

• 37 percent through the foster care system.

• 38 percent through private services.

• 25 percent were adopted internationally.

About 75 percent of children are adopted by non-family members while 25 percent are adopted by relatives; seventeen percent of those adopted by relatives are adopted through the foster care system and 37 are adopted through private mediums.

There are several ways to adopt in the United States. One way is through the foster care system. In 2010, there were 107,000 children in the foster care system waiting to be adopted and 53,000 were adopted. The general process is that a state-licensed agency (either for-profit or non-profit) matches prospective parents to children in need of a home. Though substantially cheaper than all other types of adoption, many choose other means of adoption. This is because many people want newborns of a particular race, and foster care adoption houses children of all ages and races. Unfortunately, these children need a home just as much as all other children up for adoption.

A second way to adopt is through a private agency. Private agencies act as intermediaries between children and prospective parents in the matching process. Many choose this medium because the agency guides parents through the entire adoption process.

A third way to adopt is independently, i.e. privately. It is legal in most states, though Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, and Massachusetts do not allow it; the laws surrounding independent adoption vary from state-to-state. This process involves prospective parents independently seeking out biological parents who have put their child up for adoption; lawyers are used as intermediaries. Many choose this means of adoption because agencies have policies regarding parent-criteria and prospective parent-biological parent contact both during and after the adoption. Independent adoption allows both prospective parents and biological parents to set their own criteria. Prospective parents control the search process and have direct contact with the biological parents; both parties also decide if the child will have contact with the biological parents after the adoption process is finalized.

A fourth way to adopt is internationally. China, Russia, Guatemala, Korea, and Ethiopia are common countries from which children are adopted; however, about 80 other countries around the world adopt out children to parents from different countries. In 2010, over 11,000 children were adopted from other countries. Generally, parents use adoption services similar to domestic adoption services. Many choose to adopt internationally to help children in desperate situations; many times, children are undernourished, under-educated, or have disabilities. Others choose this process because, depending on country, it can be less costly.

Amber Paley is a guest post and article writer bringing to us information and statistics on child adoptions.  Amber also writes about abuse in nursing homes.
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