THE DUCK & THE DEVIL

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was walking back he saw Grandma’s pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved! In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile; only to see his sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing..
After lunch the next day Grandma said, ‘Sally, let’s wash the dishes’ But Sally said, ‘Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.’ Then she whispered to him, ‘Remember the duck?’ So Johnny did the dishes.
Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing andGrandma said, ‘I’m sorry but I need Sally to help make supper.’ Sally just smiled and said, ‘Well that’s all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help’ She whispered again, ‘Remember the duck?’ So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.
After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally’s; he finally couldn’t stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck. Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, ‘Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you.’ Thought for the day and every day thereafter?
Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done… And the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) ..whatever it is…You need to know that> God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing. He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He’s just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you. The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness; He not only forgives you, but He forgets. It is by God’s grace and mercy that we are saved. Go ahead and make the difference in someone’s life today. Share this with a friend and always remember: God is at the window! When Jesus died on the cross; he was thinking of you

IN NEED OF MEN THAT AREN’T JERKS

I HAVE DECIDED THAT MEN SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! I THINK I CAN DO WITHOUT THEM FOREVER. THEY JUST CAUSE DRAMA AND HURT PEOPLE. I AM SO OVER MEN AND HOW THEY TREAT WOMEN. I AM ON A MISSION TO FIND ONE GUY THAT ISN’T A JERK. OK I ACTUALLY NEED TWO GOOD GUYS ONE FOR ME AND ONE FOR MISTI. SO THAT IS THE MISSION I AM NOW ON. IF ANYONE KNOWS ANY LET ME KNOW CAUSE I DON’T THINK THERE ARE ANY OUT THERE.
As I reflect on 2008, I can say we had a great year:
Blacks are happy, Obama was elected.
Whites are happy, OJ is in jail.
Democrats are happy, George Bush is leaving office.
Republicans are happy, Democrats will finally quit saying George Bush stole the election.
And all of us are so happy, The election is finally over!
I think 2009 will be even better:
Immediately after his inauguration, Obama will balance the budget, revive the economy, solve the real estate problem, solve the auto industry problem, solve our gas/alternative energy problem, stop the fires and mudslides in California, ban hurricanes and tornadoes, stop identity theft, reverse global warming, find Osama, solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, get rid of corruption in government and achieve world peace. Then on the 7th day, He will rest.
Our best wishes for 2009
One truth however-
“The government cannot give to anyone anything that it does not first take from someone else.”

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EXPLANATION OF LIFE

On the first day, God created the dog and said: ‘Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’ The dog said: ‘That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?’ So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said: ‘Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.’ The monkey said: ‘Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?’ And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said: ‘You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.’ The cow said: ‘That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?’ And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said: ‘Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.’ But man said: ‘Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?’ ‘Okay,’ said God, ‘You asked for it.’
So that is why for our first twenty yearswe eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I’m doing it as a public service.
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