Home » Archives for January 2009
29 Jan
Written By
Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog’s parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.
13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
14. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.
And last, but not least:
15. Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. Then open the trunk and see who’s happy to see you…..

http://theworldasiseeitbloganddesigns.com/why-some-men-have-dogs-and-not-wives-1/

Filed Under: PERSONAL THOUGHTS

GETTING BETTER

29 Jan
Written By
WELL IT IS THURSDAY AND I AM FINALLY STARTING TO FEEL BETTER. THANK GOD! NOW I WON’T DRINK THIS WEEKEND SO THAT I CAN GET OVER THIS COLD THAT I HAVE. I AM ACTUALLY THE DD THIS WEEKEND. I AM TAKING MISTI AND RON OUT TO WENDOVER SATURDAY NIGHT AND PICKING THEM UP SUNDAY AFTER THE SUPER BOWL. SO THIS WILL BE A SOBER WEEKEND FOR ME. I JUST WOULD RATHER BE SOBER AND NOT HAVE ANY OF MY FRIEND OR PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT GET HURT OR IN TROUBLE, AND SINCE I DON’T LIKE DRINKING BEING SOBER IS EASIEST FOR ME. I COULD CARE LESS IF I DRINK. ALCOHOL IS NOT MY DRUG OF CHOICE THAT IS FOR SURE. I AM SO SCARED THAT I WILL BECOME A MEAN DRUNK THAT I NEVER REALLY DRINK.MY GRANDMA SCRAPED MY WINDOWS THIS MORNING. I HAD TO CALL HER WHEN I GOT TO WORK AND THANK HER FOR DOING THAT FOR ME. IT WAS SO NICE OF HER. I GUESS SHE DID IT WHILE SHE WAS WAITING TO LACHELLE TO GET READY. I FELT BAD THAT MY GRANDMA HAD TO TAKE HER TO TRAX BUT MY GRANDMA WOULDN’T LET ME DO IT THIS MORNING. I WAS GOING TO TAKE LACHELLE AND THEN COME HOME AND GET READY. OH WELL I WILL BE DOING IT WHILE THEY ARE GONE I AM SURE.I AM THINKING I AM GOING TO HAVE TO PUT ELINORE DOWN BECAUSE SHE IS LOSING WEIGHT AND I CAN’T AFFORD TO TAKE HER TO THE VET. OH WELL SHE HAS HAD A TOUGH LIFE AND MAYBE IT IS HER TIME TO GO. I WILL SURVIVE IT. IT WILL SUCK BUT I ALSO DON’T WANT HER TO SUFFER. SO I WILL DO THE RIGHT THING AND PUT HER DOWN IF SHE GETS MUCH SICKER.
YESTERDAY WAS MY GRANDMAS BIRTHDAY AND I FORGOT ALL ABOUT IT! SO YESTERDAY AT WORK I HAD TO GO AND BUY HER A CARD AND A GIFT GOOD THING I KNEW WHAT I WAS GETTING HER. I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT IT THAT JUST ISN’T ME. I ALWAYS REMEMBER BIRTHDAYS. OH WELL GUESS I AM GETTING OLD AND THE MS IS GETTING WORSE. OVER ALL I THINK SHE HAD A GOOD BIRTHDAY AND THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS!
Filed Under: PERSONAL THOUGHTS

WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT

28 Jan
Written By
(Taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)
Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people’s.
A grandfather is a man, & a grandmother is a lady!
Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.
When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.
They show us and talk to us about the colors of the flowers and also why we shouldn’t step on ‘cracks.’
They don’t say, ‘Hurry up.’
Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.
They wear glasses and funny underwear.
They can take their teeth and gums out.
Grandparents don’t have to be smart.
They have to answer questions like ‘Why isn’t God married?’ and ‘How come dogs chase cats?’
When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the same story over again.
Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.
They know we should have snack time before bed time, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad.
A 6-YEAR-OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED.
”OH,” HE SAID, ”SHE LIVES AT THE AIRPORT, AND WHEN WE WANT HER, WE JUST GO GET HER. THEN WHEN WE’RE DONE HAVING HER VISIT, WE TAKE HER BACK TO THE AIRPORT.”
GRANDPA IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE TEACHES ME GOOD THINGS, BUT I DON’T GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS SMART AS HIM!
It’s funny when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.
Filed Under: PERSONAL THOUGHTS

NONE OF THAT "SISSY STUFF"

28 Jan
Written By
Are you tired of those
sissy ‘friendship’ poems
that always sound good,
but never actually come close
to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of
True Friendship.
You WON’T see
cutesy little smiley faces
on this card-
Just the stone cold truth
of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad,
I will jump on the person
who made you sad
” like a spider monkey
jacked up on Mountain Dew!!! “
2. When you are blue,
I will try to dislodge
whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile,
I will know you are
plotting something
that I must be involved in.
4. When you’re scared,
we will high tail it out of here.
5. When you are worried,
I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse
it could be until you
quit whining, ya big baby!!!!
6. When you are confused,
I will use little words..
7. When you are sick,
Stay away from me
until you are well again.
I don’t want whatever you have..
8. When you fall,
I’ll pick you up
and dust you off-
After I laugh my butt off!!
9. This is my oath…
I pledge it to the end.
‘Why?’ you may ask;
— because you are my FRIEND!
Friendship is like peeing your pants,
everyone can see it,
but only YOU
can feel the
true warmth.
Filed Under: PERSONAL THOUGHTS

???

28 Jan
Written By
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?Why do you have to “put your two cents in”… but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”?
Where’s that extra penny going to?
Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They’re both dogs!If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Filed Under: PERSONAL THOUGHTS

SICK AGAIN

27 Jan
Written By
WELL IT IS TUESDAY AND I AM SICK. I AM SO TIRED OF ALWAYS BEING SICK. IT ALWAYS SEEMS LIKE WHEN I AM SICK I AM SICK FOR A LONG TIME. I AM SO SICK OF BEING SICK. LOOKS LIKE I WILL BE SICK FOR THE SUPER BOWL! OH WELL GUESS I CAN JUST SLEEP ALL DAY. SINCE I DON’T REALLY CARE WHO WINS OR WHAT NOT. I MIGHT AS WELL REST. NO DRINKING FOR MY UNTIL I AM BETTER SO LETS HOPE THIS PASSES SOON. BUT THEN AGAIN YOU NEVER DO KNOW WITH THINGS LIKE THIS.
JOSH TOLD ME YESTEDAY THAT HE WANTS ME BACK! I TOLD HIM THERE IS NO WAY I WOULD BECAUSE I CAN’T DEAL WITH HIS JOB ANYMORE AND I COULD NEVER TRUST HIM AGAIN. IT BUGS ME IT TAKES MEN SO LONG TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THEY WANT AND BY THE TIME THEY DO IT IS TO LATE. IT IS WAY TO LATE FOR HIM TO WANT ME BACK NOW. I AM MOVING ON AND GETTING PAST THE PAIN HE HAS CAUSED ME. HE WANTS ME TO BE SOMEONE THAT I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO BE. I WANT AND WILL FIND SOMEONE THAT LIKES ME FOR ME. I AM IN NO RUSH THOUGH TO FIND SOMEONE I DON’T MIND BEING SINGLE.
IF ANYONE KNOWS SOMEONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO CATS LET ME KNOW. I AM TRYING TO FIND MY GIRLS GOOD HOMES WITH PEOPLE THAT WILL LOVE THEM LIKE I DO. I WANT THEM TO GO TOGETHER SO THEY WON’T BE AS SAD. I AM IN NO RUSH BUT I THINK IT I TIME THAT I FIND THEM A NEW HOME.
Filed Under: PERSONAL THOUGHTS

WOMEN

27 Jan
Written By
Facts On Figures
There are 3 billion women who don’t look like super models ?
And only eight who do.
Did you know Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14?
If Barbie was a real woman, she’d have to walk on all FOURS due to her proportions!
The average woman weighs 144 pounds, and wears between a size 12-14. ?
One out of every 4 college-aged women has an eating disorder.
The Models in the magazines are AIRBRUSHED!!! - NOT Perfect!!
A psychological study in 1995 found that 3 minutes spent looking at a Fashion Magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed , guilty and SHAMEFUL!
Models 20 years ago weighed 8% Less than the average Woman.
Today they weigh 23% less……
~~ Beauty of a Woman ~~
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,Because that is the doorway to her heart,The place where love resides.The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.It is the caring that she lovingly gives,The passion that she shows.The beauty of a womanWith time, only grows..
The Images of A Mom
4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE- YMy Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn’t really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn’t know that, either!
16 YEARS OF AGE- Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE- That old woman? She’s way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let’s get Mom’s opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE- Wish I could talk it over with Mom. .
Filed Under: PERSONAL THOUGHTS

IN MEMORY OF MY LAST JOB

27 Jan
Written By

Filed Under: PERSONAL THOUGHTS

DRAMA WEEKEND

26 Jan
Written By
THIS WEEKEND WAS FULL OF DRAMA. IF IT WASN’T ONE THING IT WAS ANOTHER. I GUESS SOME WEEKENDS ARE LIKE THAT AND THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT. I DEALT WITH IT AND AS I LOOK BACK TODAY I HAD A LOT OF FUN. IT WAS A MUCH NEEDED BREAK.
I DID FILE FOR DIVORCE ON SATURDAY BUT THAT WAS NEEDED AND IT IS A RELIEF. I AM SAD IT IS OVER BUT GLAD ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I AM READY TO BE DONE WITH HIM AND I KNOW THAT THIS IS THE RIGHT DECISION. THE PAIN GETS A LITTLE LESS EACH DAY AND I THINK I AM OVER THE HARDEST PART OF IT ALL.
I HUNG OUT A LOT THIS WEEKEND WITH A GUY NAMED TODD. HE IS REALLY NICE AND I AM REALLY STARTING TO LIKE HIM. I THINK HE LIKES ME TOO BUT YOU CAN NEVER BE SURE WITH MEN. THEY ARE SO HARD TO READ AT TIMES.
THE DRAMA STARTED SATURDAY MORNING AT 6 WHEN SOMEONE TOOK MY CELL PHONE AND HID IT. I AM NOT SURE WHO DID IT BUT THE FACT THAT IT HAPPENED WAS ENOUGH TO PISS ME OFF. THEY ALSO GOT MAD CAUSE I AM SEEING TODD AND THEY DON’T LIKE THAT. I GUESS TO THEM I AM STILL MARRIED SO I SHOULDN’T BE DATING. THIS IS WHY I FILED FOR DIVORCE SO THAT THEY WOULD GET OFF OF MY BACK. I AM SCARED THEY WILL THROW ME OUT AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO. I MEAN I HAVE PLACES I COULD STAY BUT I DON’T HAVE A PLACE FOR MY KITTY’S AND THAT IS WHAT WORRIES ME. SO I AM TRYING TO STAY BELOW THE RADAR AND HOPE IT GETS BETTER WITH TIME. I THINK IT WILL BUT LIKE I SAY YOU NEVER KNOW WITH MY FAMILY HOW THEY WILL ACT FROM DAY TO DAY. IT SURE GETS OLD THOUGH THAT IS FOR SURE. OH WELL IT IS FREE AND I HOPE THEY DON’T THROW ME OUT.
Filed Under: PERSONAL THOUGHTS

AMAZING

23 Jan
Written By
AMAZING IS ALL THAT CAN DESCRIBE THE NIGHT. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN AND I HAD A GREAT TIME ON MY DATE. SO I WILL START WITH THE CONCERT. IT WAS GREAT A LOT OF HIS STUFF WAS OFF OF THE DVDS BUT WHAT WAS NEW WAS FUNNY. I COULDN’T STOP LAUGHING! I WILL TRY AND GET THE PICTURES MY LITTLE BROTHER TOOK AND POST THEM. I DIDN’T HAVE A CAMERA SO I COULDN’T TAKE ANY. PEANUT WAS MY FAVORITE OF THE NIGHT. HE WAS EVEN FUNNIER THAN WALTER WAS. I LEFT BEFORE BUBBA J CAME OUT CAUSE I CAN’T STAND BUBBA J. OVER ALL I LOVED IT AND IF HE COME AGAIN I WILL TRY MY BEST TO GO. I WISH ALL OF YOU COULD HAVE SEEN THE SHOW!
NOW FOR THE DATE PART. HE MADE ME FEEL THINGS I HAVEN’T FELT IN FOREVER. I REALLY LIKE HIM BUT I AM CAUTIOUS BECAUSE I GET SCARED THAT HE IS LYING LIKE SO MANY GUYS HAVE DONE. I AM STAYING POSITIVE AND HOPEFULLY THIS WILL GO SOMEWHERE AND LAST FOR AWHILE. I KNOW HE IS SCARED THOUGH CAUSE I AM MARRIED AND I UNDERSTAND THAT. I KNOW THOUGH THAT I AM NOT GOING BACK TO JOSH. I AM TIRED OF HOW HE TREATS ME AND HOW HE NEVER GAVE ME A CHANCE TO PROVE THAT I HAVE CHANGED. I DON’T NEED SOMEONE LIKE THAT AND I WANT TO HAVE SOMEONE THAT IS HERE WITH ME AND NOT GONE ALL THE TIME! SO I THINK I AM HEADED IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION AS FAR AS GUYS GO. I GET THE VIBE HE IS A REALLY GOOD GUY AND MISTI GOT THE SAME VIBE WHEN SHE SAW HIM AT THE CLUB. SO LETS ALL HOPE SOMETHING COMES OF THIS!
MISTI SMILE IT WILL ALL BE OK! WE WILL FIGURE IT ALL OUT FOR YOU! I AM ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU.
Filed Under: PERSONAL THOUGHTS
Next Page»