WELL THIS WEEKEND WAS DRAMA LESS AND THAT WAS MUCH NEEDED. I FOUND MYSELF NOT WANTING TO DO ANYTHING OR BE AROUND ANYONE. I DID GO SHOPPING ON SATURDAY AND RENTED A FEW MOVIES BUT THAT WAS ABOUT ALL. I JUST SAT MOST OF THE TIME IN MY BEDROOM AND DIDN’T REALLY DO MUCH. I DIDN’T WANNA BRING OTHERS DOWN WITH ME. SO I FIGURE IF I SIT ALONE IN MY ROOM I WON’T BRING OTHER PEOPLE DOWN. I AM AT THE POINT THAT IF I CAN’T BE POSITIVE THEN I DON’T WANNA BE AROUND PEOPLE. I KNOW THAT IF I AM NOT POSITIVE THAT I WILL JUST BRING OTHER PEOPLE DOWN WITH ME. SO IF ANYONE GETS MAD THAT I AM ISOLATING MYSELF I AM SORRY BUT I DON’T WANNA BRING ANYONE ELSE DOWN. I KNOW MY LIMITATIONS AND I AM JUST ABOUT TO THAT POINT. I AM AT THE POINT THAT IF MORE THINGS GO WRONG I AM NOT SURE I CAN DEAL WITH THEM.
ELINORE IS DOING OK I HOPE. SHE HASN’T THROWN UP IN AWHILE SO MAYBE SHE IS GETTING OVER WHATEVER IS WRONG WITH HER. SHE ISN’T GAINING WEIGHT BUT LETS HOPE THE WORST HAS PASSED. I WILL ALWAYS HOPE SHE GETS BETTER BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT SHE MIGHT NOT GET BETTER.
