Divorce

Day 7

Today the want me to talk about my dream wedding.  Well I did have a wedding and I loved it.  I would say I had my dream wedding because I don’t plan on having another wedding.  I am so done with marriage and men.
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I am going to do another prompt that the SITS girls emailed out.  Today I am going to write about a Christmas I would rather forget.  I would love to forgot Christmas of 2008 when my husband chose that day to tell me he wanted a divorce.  To this day I am not sure why he chose Christmas to tell me but he did.  He has ruined Christmas for me now.  I was never a fan but now I hate it even more.  I am already getting stressed and stuff like that because I know it is coming.  Last year I ended up in the ER with a migraine so only gods knows what this year will be like.
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3 Years

I posted this on my private blog but I don’t care anymore if he reads this so I am going post it here as well!

It is hard for me to believe that today will make it three years that I have been married.  Now that being said we have never had a real anniversary because the first year I was sick in bed from a migraine, year two we were separated and this year three we are officially done just not divorced yet.  For some reason this year is really hard for me.  It is probably because I know him and I won’t ever speak after things are done because of how he treats me and how is always trying to get into my business.  I guess I will never understand why he feels the need to still try and tell me what to do and have to know everything that is going on in my life.  I am going to go through his stuff this weekend and get rid of it all in the next few weeks.  I am done playing his games and he doesn’t think I will do it.  So when he does come to get what was in my storage unit it will all be gone.  I just have no desire to see him or to even deal with him anymore.  I hope he can be happy but I doubt that he will ever truly be happy because of how he treats people.  He doesn’t seem to get why people don’t stay around him very long.  Even his “friends” don’t stay around him very long.  One of his “friends” that knows Tim asked Tim what I was really like because “he knows how Josh is”.  It makes me really wonder what Josh has told everyone about me.  It hurts knowing that someone who supposedly “loved” me can say mean things about to people.  All I know is he has some issues and until he gets them figured out no one will be around him for very long! 

That is all for this post but I am sure I will think of more to write later and I will just update it then

Finally This Week Is Half Done!

I want to thank everyone for all the kind words and for sticking behind me.  It is nice to know that I am really not alone in all of this.  Now not only do I have Misti, and Jill I also have people who read my blog and are there if I just need to vent or blow off some steam.  I am so thankful that people can see like I do why I can’t trust him again and why it just won’t work.  I feel like I am on a roller coaster with him anymore.  One day he is nice and caring and then other days he is a total ass about everything.  I just feel like I am going crazy.  Right now he is being nice to me and I hope that is stays this way but god only knows when he will be a dick head to me again.  I am trying to hard to stay positive about the whole situation and know that in the end it will be okay but when he is a jerk it just makes me feel so bad about everything.  I hope that he will figure it out soon or I am going to have to stop talking to him because I can’t continue to do this whole up and down thing with him anymore.  That is it for today because my brain is tired and I am emotional exhausted. 

I hope everyone is having a great day!