Month: September 2010

Love Letters By Melissa

Love Letters To Yourself

In a previous guest post I briefly mentioned writing love notes to yourself, something I like to do. I find that writing myself love notes is a wonderful way to keep myself motivated and feeling good about myself. Love notes do not have to be long, just a few short words on a post-it-note are just as valuable as writing a long letter to myself.

There are times though, when only a long letter will do. Not just a long letter, but something like how people used to write letters long ago. Letters containing pressed flowers, smelling of perfume or having lovely pictures. Even writing them with a fancy pen that is only reserved for my special letters. It is all about making myself feel good and taking care of myself. I like to save these letters. Pulling them out when I need to hear special, loving words.

I believe that no one knows better what I need to hear to build me up than myself. These letters do that when, for whatever reason, my family cannot fill that need for me.

You never want the letter writing to yourself to become a chore, something you feel like you have to do, so don’t do it very often. It is about loving yourself, showing yourself compassion, not one more thing in the long list of things that you must do. Don’t get bogged down in using proper grammar, or punctuation, or making it perfect. It is about love, not about perfection.

Make the time that you take to write these letters to yourself special. If you find that you cannot get time alone during the day to do this, try it after the rest of your family goes to bed. Play some soft music, light a few candles, take some time and clear your mind before you get started. Think about the wonderful things you want to say. If you cannot do all that, you can still make that time special by putting some pressed flowers in your letter, decorating the envelope, even putting inspirational pictures from magazines and photographs in it. You could crush some fragrant herbs and put them in, or include your own drawings (even if they are only stick figures). Write some quotes on little slips of paper and stick those in as well.

Start your letters off with terms of endearment, like “Dear” and then put as much love and compassion into the letter to yourself as you can. Write it to someone you love dearly. As difficult as it might be, do your best to not write it in the first person. An example of this is:

Dear Melissa,

You are a wonderful person. I love how strong and self confident you are. You are a beautiful, inside and out. I value you. I admire the compassion you showed to those hurting people today. (and just keep going)

In your letters to yourself you could write about your good qualities, something you did that you are proud of, and things that bring you love and joy. Write about a walk you took, or a special time you spent with another person. You could write about something loving another person did or said to you. Use your imagination, write only about the things that build you up.

You can write your letter all at one time, or take a whole month to write it, adding bits and pieces here and there. Do it the way that works best for you.

On your hard days, on those days when you are hurting and your self worth has taken a blow, pull out your love letters to remind yourself what a wonderful person you are. Read them all, or read only one, whatever it takes to heal your hurting heart.

If you decide to try writing a love letter to yourself, I would enjoy hearing about it. Only as much as you feel comfortable sharing.

Written by Melissa Mashburn of Sugar Filled Emotions

Writers Workshop

This weeks for the Writers Workshop I decided to combine the first to prompts because I can fit both of them.  Here are the first 2 prompts: 1.) A list of things you no longer have in common with your single/childless friends…and why you love them anyways, 2.) A list of things you no longer have in common with your married/child bearing friends…and why you love them anyways.  I fit into both of them because yes I have had a child so I understand what it feels like to have a child and the love you feel for that child but I also placed her for adoption so I don’t know what the sleepless night feel like or what parenting is like.  I know what not having kids feels like as well so I feel like I don’t fit in either group anymore.  I fit the best when I find other girls that have placed a baby for adoption and know the feelings that go along with it.  I still love all of my friends but I am starting to wish that I had more friends that had placed their children for adoption.  I just am finding that a have a few things in common with both groups but I also have enough different from them that I don’t really fit in with either group.  I hate being in the group I am in but I know I am here because I made the best choice I could make for her. This weeks post is short but I feel as if I covered everything I need to!

30 Things

30 THINGS ABOUT MY INVISIBLE ILLNESS YOU MAY NOT KNOW

1. The illness I live with is: Multiple Sclerosis
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2000
3. But I had symptoms since: As long as I can remember
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: Not knowing what each day will bring 
5. Most people assume:That I am just lazy because I am too tired to go out and do anything after work or on the weekends.
6. The hardest part about mornings are:Having to get up when I just want to sleep.
7. My favorite medical TV show is:I love the shows on TLC and Discovery Health.
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is:My computer
9. The hardest part about nights are:Not being able to sleep
10. Each day I take _10_ pills & vitamins. (No comments, please)
11. Regarding alternative treatments I:am willing to try anything that could work or take away some of the pain.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose:Visisble
13. Regarding working and career:It is hard to work but I do my best.  I don’t let many people know I am even sick.
14. People would be surprised to know:How much pain I am in and how tired I am.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: Being tired and know this will never go away.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was:Be stable and find a medication that works for me.
17. The commercials about my illness:There aren’t many and the ones I see bug me!
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is:I don’t know.  I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t sick.
19. It was really hard to have to give up:Gluten because it is in all my favorite foods.
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is:Blogging
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would:Live it up!  I would do as much as I could do in one day.
22. My illness has taught me:Patience
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: But you don’t look sick or tell me I am lazy
24. But I love it when people:Want to learn about MS
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is:You don’t know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have.
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them:It will get better!  There are people out there to help you!
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is:That is it doable!  Just because I am sick doesn’t mean I am going to die tomorrow.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was:People haven brought dinner to my family.
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because:People need to learn that we are sick even though you can’t see it!
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel:Good because it means more people want to learn about MS

Tuesday’s MS Post & A List Post(Day 2)

Day 2’s assignment is to write a post that has a list in it.  This shouldn’t be too hard because I love to use lists in my post.  They are easy to make and a good way to talk about things because that is how my brain works.  I am going to do this one today because I already need to use a list in this post.  Today’s topic on Multiple Sclerosis is the different types of MS.  I don’t think people realize that there are different types.  I am going to name them and then go into a little bit of detail on them.

  • Relapsing/Remitting MS– This is the type that I have.  This type is called this because it comes and goes.  You get better but most of the time not all the way better.  This is why I have some days that are worse than others or I will get super sick but over time I will get “better”.  A great example of this is when my hands when numb and I couldn’t use them but over time they have become so I can use them but they still tingle.  They feel like they are sleep and just about to wake up all the time.  Most people that are diagnosed with this type when they are in their 20’s or 30’s but like me you can be diagnosed with this type when you are younger or older as well.  I think this is one of the most common types of MS.
  • Secondary Progressive MS-This type is when people that had the previous type of MS start to just get progressively worse and don’t get better.  They say that after you have R/R MS for 10 years that the rate of developing this type is 50% higher than before and if you make it to 25 to 30 years the rate goes up to 90%.  I didn’t know this about this type and to be honest with everyone it totally scares the hell out of me!
  • Progressive Relapsing MS– This type of MS gets worse from the beginning.  They may or may not get a little bit better but they are always going to just get worse.  You may get better after the first attack but in between episodes you will keep getting progressively worse.
  • Primary Progressive MS-With this type you are always getting worse and there is no real let up of the disease.  You may have periods where you seem stable but you will never get better.  You are more likely to be diagnosed with this type of MS when you are in your 30’s or 40’s.  This type also attacks the spinal cord more than the brain.  People with this type are less likely to have problems with thinking than people that have the first two types.

Writing this post has also helped me out.  I have learned a lot while I was reading articles for this post.  I thought I knew all about what MS but I guess I still have tons of things to learn as well.  If you have anything you would like to know more about please let me know!
I got the information for this post primarily from: http://neurology.health-cares.net/multiple-sclerosis-types.php

New Design On My Other Blog!

I had my private blog redone but Jacqui.  She does a great job!  Since it is private so that certain people can’t see it I am going to post the pictures up here so you can see what she made for me!
She made the background and header.  She also made a blog button and then the MS button for this blog.  She made a signature and post separator along with a favicon.   You should all check her out!

10 Things That Make Me Happy

I picked another prompt from Mama Kat’s page again today.  The one that I picked is: Write a list of 10 things that are sure to put a smile on your face when you are not happy.

  1. My cats always put my in a good mood.  It is like they know when you are having a bad day and they want to be petted and sit on my lap.
  2. My grandma because she is always doing something weird.
  3. Watch Liar Liar.  I have seen it so many times I have it memorized but I still love it.
  4. Being around friends
  5. Blogging
  6. Getting a new blogger layout!  I love to change them a lot and it always makes me happy when I get a new one.
  7. Shopping when I have money.
  8. Finding money that I didn’t know I had or getting money that I didn’t know what coming to me.
  9. Tweeting with my twitter friends.  They always know what to say to make me smile when I am having a bad day.
  10. Reading a good book because it helps me escape all the troubles I am having at that time.

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