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FOR MISTI

18 Jan
Written By
I AM POSTING THIS POST BECAUSE I NEED TO SAY SOME THINGS TO MISTI AND I FEEL THIS IS THE BEST WAY. I AM NOT GOOD AT TALKING ABOUT THINGS. I FEEL I CAN GET THE MESSAGE ACROSS BETTER IF I JUST WRITE IT DOWN. I MAY RAMBLE BUT BEAR WITH ME.
MISTI:
FIRST OFF I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT YOU WILL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH YOU HAVE HELPED ME OR HOW MUCH YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME. YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME MORE ABOUT MYSELF AND OTHER PEOPLE THAN ANYONE ELSE HAS. YOU ALWAYS GIVE A PERSPECTIVE ON THINGS THAT I NEVER HAVE SEEN. YOU MAKE ME TAKE A STEP BACK AND LOOK AT THINGS AGAIN. I DON’T KNOW HOW I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THROUGH THE LAST FEW WEEKS IF YOU HADN’T BEEN AROUND. I KNOW WE FIGHT AND ARGUE BUT WE BOTH ALWAYS CALM DOWN AND GET IT FIGURED OUT. I WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW GOOD OF A PERSON YOU ARE AND HOW LOST I WOULD BE WITHOUT YOU!!! YOU ALWAYS CAN MAKE ME LAUGH WHEN I NEED TO LAUGH. YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO KNOW WHAT TO SAY AT THE RIGHT TIME. I KNOW AT TIMES THAT I GET MAD WHEN YOU SAY THINGS BUT THAT IS ONLY BECAUSE I KNOW YOU ARE RIGHT AND I DON’T LIKE BEING WRONG. I AM WORKING ON IT AND ONE DAY MAYBE I WILL BE ABLE TO NOT DO THAT TO YOU! I FEEL AT TIMES I AM MEAN TO YOU AND I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT. I REALLY AM TRYING TO CHANGE AND I KNOW ONE DAY I WILL BE BETTER. I JUST HOPE YOU HAVE THE PATIENCE TO WAIT FOR THAT TIME TO COME. IF NOT I UNDERSTAND BECAUSE I KNOW I AM NOT THE EASIEST PERSON TO GET ALONG WITH. LIKE WHEN YOU TOLD ME YESTERDAY YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ME SOMETIMES. I KNOW I NEED TO CHANGE SOMETHINGS AND I AM TRYING. ONE DAY MAYBE I WON’T BE AS HARD TO DEAL WITH AT TIMES. I ALSO DON’T WANT YOU TO FEEL LIKE YOU EVER HAVE TO DO THINGS WITH ME. I WANT YOU TO SAY NO I DON’T WANT TO DO ANYTHING. I DON’T WANT YOU TO FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO DO THINGS LIKE YOU TEND TO DO WITH OTHER PEOPLE. SO PLEASE JUST SAY NO I AM NOT FEELING IT.
I WANT TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH GOOD I SEE IN YOU AND HOW MUCH I THINK YOU ARE SHORTING YOURSELF BY STAYING WITH SOME OF THE GUYS YOU DO. IT KILLED ME TO HEAR WHAT HAPPENED ON FRIDAY NIGHT. I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY AND HAVE SOMEONE LOVE YOU LIKE YOU DESERVE. I KNOW YOU WANT TO BADLY TO BE LOVED AND HAVE A FAMILY OF YOUR OWN. I FEEL ONE DAY YOU WILL HAVE IT. I HAVE ALSO DECIDED THAT I WILL GIVE RON A CHANCE IF YOU WANT, BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IF HE DOES IT AGAIN THAT WILL BE THE LAST THING HE DOES. I WILL NOT STAND FOR SOMEONE TO DO WHAT FREDDIE DID TO YOU. I WILL BE AROUND YOU AND I AM NEVER LEAVING UNLESS YOU TELL ME TOO! I WILL GET ALONG WITH HIM SO THAT IT ISN’T HARDER ON YOU BUT I WILL PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE IF I DON’T LIKE WHAT HE IS DOING OR SAYING. I WILL DO THIS WITH ANY GUY THOUGH. SO JUST KNOW I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO KEEP YOU FROM GETTING HURT AGAIN BECAUSE I DON’T WANNA LOSE YOU AND I DON’T KNOW IF YOU WOULD SURVIVE ANOTHER HEART BREAK LIKE FREDDIE.
YOU ARE A SPECIAL PERSON! YOU ARE SO DIFFERENT THAN OTHER PEOPLE ARE. YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON I HAVE EVER MEET THAT IS AS NICE AND CARING AS YOU ARE. I HOPE ONE DAY YOU WILL SEE THIS AND SEE HOW BEAUTIFUL OF A PERSON YOU ARE. I KNOW YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND DON’T SEE THE BEAUTY BUT I HOPE ONE DAY YOU WILL SEE JUST HOW PRETTY YOU ARE. MAYBE IF I SAY IT ENOUGH YOU WILL REALIZE IT. I ALSO WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW MUCH I HAVE LEARNED FROM YOU. I HAVE LEARNED MORE IN THE SHORT TIME I HAVE KNOW YOU THEN I THINK I EVER HAVE BEFORE. EVERYDAY I LEARN SOMETHING NEW AND YOU MAKE ME FIND THAT INNER STRENGTH THAT I HAVE. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IS SEE THE SAME STRENGTH IN YOU. YOU MAY NOT THINK SO BUT YOU ARE AND ONE DAY YOU WILL REALIZE IT. YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH SO MUCH AND I LOOK UP TO YOU FOR IT. YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME I DESERVE BETTER THAN WHAT I GOT FROM JOSH AND I HOPE ONE DAY YOU WILL SEE THAT YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN GETTING.
IN CLOSING I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE WE ARE ALWAYS FRIENDS! I KNOW HOW GOOD YOU ARE FOR ME AND HOW YOU ARE USUALLY THE ONE TO KEEP ME IN CHECK. DON’T EVER LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL UGLY OR FEEL LIKE YOU AREN’T WORTH ANYTHING!!! KNOW ONE DAY THINGS WILL GET BETTER AND YOU WILL FIND WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR.
LOVE
MARGARET
Filed Under: PERSONAL THOUGHTS

THE LAST FEW DAYS

18 Jan
Written By
THIS PICTURE WAS TAKEN ON FRIDAY NIGHT BEFORE WE WENT OUT. I WISH THINGS WOULD HAVE STAYED HAPPY BUT THEY DIDN’T. I WILL JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT NIGHT WAS THE ONE OF THE WORST ONES. THIS OUTFIT WAS MY FAVORITE THOUGH. THIS WAS THE NIGHT THAT I GOT TOMMY’S NUMBER!!!!!! I WAS SO EXCITED AND I DID IT ALL ON MY OWN I WAS SO PROUD OF MYSELF!
 THIS WAS TAKEN SATURDAY NIGHT THIS NIGHT WAS A LITTLE BIT BETTER BUT NOT MUCH. I JUST FEEL LIKE I WANT TO HELP PEOPLE AND THEY DON’T WANT MY HELP. I HATE TO SEE MY FRIENDS HURT AND I HOPE MISTI WILL FIND HAPPINESS. I THINK SHE WILL BUT I DON’T THINK IT WILL BE WITH THE GUYS SHE HAS AROUND HER NOW.
(YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU BUT I AM HONEST!!!!)
THIS WEEKEND WAS INTERESTING TO SAY THE LEAST BUT I DID WHAT I WANTED TO DO AND I GOT A COUPLE OF NUMBERS AND I AM SLOWLY GETTING MORE SOCIAL. I DON’T KNOW IF I WILL GO BACK TO CLUBS FOR AWHILE. I JUST FEEL LIKE YA OK I TRIED IT BUT AND I DID END UP LIKING IT, BUT I KNOW MISTI REALLY LIKES THIS GUY AND IT ISN’T RIGHT TO HAVE HER GO OUT IF SHE LIKES HIM. NOW SAYING THAT DOESN’T MEAN I LIKE HIM CAUSE I DON’T BUT I WILL RESPECT HER AND HOPE FOR THE BEST. MAYBE HE WILL BE THE GUY TO PROVE ME WRONG. ALL I CAN SAY IF HE PULLS A REPEAT OF FRIDAY I WILL MAKE SURE HE PAYS FOR WHAT HE DID. I AM AND WILL GIVE HIM A CHANCE FOR HER SAKE BUT UNTIL HE PROVES THAT HE ISN’T LIKE HE WAS THIS WEEKEND I WON’T TRUST AND OR LIKE HIM. ON SECOND THOUGHT I THINK I WILL NEVER COMPLETELY TRUST HIM AGAIN.
(SQUIRREL YOU KNOW I LOVE AND AM ONLY SAYING THIS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND NEEDED TO GET IT OFF OF MY CHEST! I WILL ALWAYS SUPPORT YOU SO DON’T FORGET THAT! MAYBE HE WILL PROVE ME WRONG!)
ELINORE IS GETTING A LITTLE BIT BETTER EVERYDAY!!! THIS IS SO GOOD FOR ME BECAUSE I COULDN’T HANDLE HAVING TO PUT HER DOWN RIGHT NOW. THERE IS JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO HANDLE THAT RIGHT NOW. I MEAN IF I HAD TO DO IT I WOULD FOR HER BUT I WOULD MAKE ME REALLY REALLY DEPRESSED!
I AM STILL TRYING TO STAY POSITIVE BUT I THINK I HAVE COME A LONG WAY AND THAT SLOWLY I AM BECOMING A MORE LIKE ABLE PERSON. I KNOW I WILL ALWAYS HAVE MY NEGATIVE TENDENCY’S AND BE BITCHY AT TIMES. I ALSO NOW KNOW THAT I AM A BETTER PERSON AND THAT IS JOSH HADN’T OF LEFT I NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN MAKING THE CHANGES I AM. SO BECAUSE OF HIM LEAVING ME I AM BECOMING A STRONGER PERSON!!! SO I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SAY THIS BUT THANK YOU JOSH FOR MAKING ME BECOME THE PERSON I AM BECOMING. I HAD FORGOTTEN JUST HOW STRONG I AM AND I KNOW AM GETTING BACK TO ME AND TO WHO I NEED TO BE.
Filed Under: PERSONAL THOUGHTS
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