Month: July 2011

Crazy. . .

Work has been nuts the last 2 weeks.  They let Misti go on the 30th of June.  For those that don’t know Misti was my boss and also the person who hired me.  We worked together almost 4 years and now I am the one left.  When we were bought out last year there were three girls and now I am the last women standing.  I hate that I am the one left because I feel so bad for Misti not having a job and I am worried she won’t be able to find a job.  It is so strange at work to be the one that is left to hold down the fort.  I really believe they wanted to keep Misti but I was the one who was doing what they needed done so I am the one left.  Is crazy to come to work each day and not have her here.  I am sure it will get better as the time passes but I have found that it gets lonely since I am the only girl here and it is super quiet because I am now the only one downstairs in the front of the building.  There are three people in the back/warehouse but I am all alone in the front.  I know in time it will be okay but it is just different to say the least.

I am not sure if you guys remember Blanca and Coco but they were two pitbulls that my friends friend owned.  Long story short he couldn’t keep them so I took both of them to live with my “friend”.  Well he got kicked out so Coco went to stay with Misti and Blanca they told me had to be put down.  Well I never thought she has been put down.  I figured they just lied because they wanted to keep her.  Little did they know I wasn’t going to take her because I had no place for her and they seemed to love her.  Well yesterday when I get to work my Grandma called me and said that Coco got out.  I had her call the lady back who found the dog and ask what color she was because where she was found what to far for Coco to have gone.  Well it turns out to be the dog that they said they put down.  Lets just say I was pissed off because they didn’t need to lie about it.  I am fine with them having her.   It just pisses me off that they had to lie about it all.    If anyone should have the dog it is me but I don’t have a place for her.  Maybe in time I will get her!!!!  The white one is Blanca and the brindle colored one is Coco

This post has taken me all day to right because are crazy and I have to answer them and do everything else I do.  I am not complaining about being busy but even being busy the time is still dragging!  I am so ready for it to be time to go home so I can watch my shows.  I hope everyone has had a great Tuesday!
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A Big Thank You

I want to thank all of the people who have contributed to this blog.  I am so glad that people have a place to go to share there stories.  I am so glad that you are willing to share your stories.  I know it is hard to type up the stories and it is also hard to put them out there because of how we are judge because of what we choose for our children.  My hope is that this blog will show to other people that they can survive if they chose adoption for their children.  I truly believe that awareness needs to be raised about adoption and there need to be more places for birth parents to go and find the support that we all need.  It is so great to now have a place where I can go and talk to people who totally understand what I am feeling.

I want to thank you all and I hope you will continue to share your stories.  Also if you know of any birth parents or anyone who has been touched by adoption please send them my way!  I am always looking for stories so please feel free to email them to me!
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The Lazy Song

I can’t believe it is already Monday again.  It seems like it was just Monday Yesterday.  If you would like to play along with this new meme all you have to do is:

  • Grab the button
  • Write a post that includes a song and why you like that song
  • Come back and link up!

I chose this song because it is how I feel lately and the video cracks me up!  Enjoy!!

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Erika’s Story

It all started when I was 16 yearsold.  I was working at McDonalds at thetime.  An absolutely gorgeous guy walkedin, and I thought that I just had to know him. I had one of my co-workers deliver my pager number (this was beforeeveryone had a cell phone) to him and I figured that was probably going to bethe end of it.  Well, to my surprise, hepaged me later that day.  I was soexcited that a guy that looked that good could possibly be interested in plain littleold me.  We started going out and I wasbeyond thrilled.  He turned 20 not longafter we started dating.  My mom wasn’treally thrilled with the idea of me dating someone that much older, but I,being a dumb teenager, thought it was great. 

     After a couple of weeks of someheavy duty dating, the moment came when we took things to the next level.  We were both very stupid and not reallyconcerned about the consequences of our actions.  That one time was all it took for me to getpregnant.  I remember sitting in thebathroom staring at the test with its positive result.  I was so scared.  I immediately started crying.  How could I have let this happen?  I brought a phone into the bathroom and triedcalling Sperm-man (that is what he shall be known as, from now on).  He didn’t answer, right away so I had tothink of what to do next.  I eventuallywas able to get him on the phone, and told him the news.  His reaction was one of surprise.  We knew we had some serious talking todo.  I knew that I needed to tell my mom,but I just couldn’t do it right away. The next morning, before I left for school, I asked my mom if she wascoming home right after work.  She askedme why I needed to know.  I said that Ihad something to tell her.  Well, sheconvinced me to tell her then.  Needlessto say, neither of us had a very good day. Then the time came for me to tell my dad.  Talk about a scary situation.  We called him that night, and of course hewas extremely disappointed.  As far as hewas concerned, my only options were abortion or adoption.  I, on the other hand, knew that my PrinceCharming (aka Sperm-man) and I were going to raise this baby together and livehappily ever after.  Um….well, that isn’tquite how things worked out. 

     Sperm-man and I continued to seeeach other until I was about 4 months pregnant. He then decided to move on to one of the biggest floozies that the worldhas ever known.  They moved to CAtogether, which is where he learned that she really wasn’t a good choice.  I was still determined to raise this baby,with or without his help.  I got a crib,changing table, bassinet, and other various items.  I was going to make this work.

Then one morning, about a month orso before my due date, I woke up and thought about what a bad situation I wasgoing to be putting this baby in if I continued with my selfish thoughts aboutmotherhood.  I was a junior in highschool, with a year and a half left before graduation.  I was also working full-time at BaskinRobbins after school and on weekends. The only time I would get to see my baby was for the short time beforeschool, and after work.  That wouldn’t befair at all.  I also wasn’t exactlymaking the big bucks at my job, and babies sure aren’t cheap.  I sat down and wrote a list of pros andcons.  The cons outnumbered the pros.  I loved this baby in my tummy far too much toput her into this less than desirable situation.  She deserved more.  She deserved a mommy AND daddy to loveher.  She deserved to be raised where shewould never want for anything.  She deservedto be treated like the princess that she was. She did not deserve to be raised by a babysitter so that her teenage momcould try to prove that she could make this work.  I told my mom of my thoughts and what Ineeded to do.  We contacted an adoptionagency that was referred to us by a friend. I met with a caseworker, and not long after, I got to look at some familyprofiles.  I instantly fell in love withone family.  They had already adopted alittle girl, so my baby was going to have a big sister!  It all felt so right.  There wasn’t a whole lot of time to waste, soa short while later, I got to meet with the prospective parents.  The meeting went really well.  I showed them my ultrasound video and we tookturns asking each other lots of questions.  I decided that they were theright family for my baby, and tried to focus on the realization that this babywas not going to be just my little girl anymore. 

     My due date came and went and shestill hadn’t made her appearance.  6 dayslater, she decided it was time to enter the world.  She was born mid-afternoon, but we didn’tcall the adoptive parents right away.  Iknew that my time with her was limited, and I honestly wasn’t ready toshare.  I spent every possible secondwith her and had her with me all night. We called them the next morning to let them know that she was finallyhere.  They drove up to see her and weall hung out in my hospital room until the last possible second I could bethere.  We didn’t actually leave the roomuntil just before midnight.  I got tohold her in the wheelchair as we exited the hospital.  Handing her over to them was so unbelievablyhard, but absolutely necessary.  I knewshe was going where she belonged and that I was doing what was best forher.  My feelings needed to be set asideto ensure she got what she deserved.  Iwent back to school 2 weeks later.  Idecided to make the most of this decision, and I spoke, for the next few years,to sex-education classes, both junior high and high school, about the consequencesof unprotected sex.  Talking was helpful,but at the same time difficult, because I was the only one there who had placeda baby for adoption.  The other teensthat were talking had all kept their babies. Again, my feelings needed to be set aside so that I could maybe makesomeone think twice before making the same mistake I did.

     The arrangement that I had with the adoptiveparents was for visits several times a year as well as pictures andletters.  Well, unfortunately, that waspretty short-lived.  I don’t want to sayanything negative about the situation, so I’ll skip over a lot of things.  Basically, promises weren’t kept and I had nocontact at all with them from the time she was 4 until this past December, whenI found her on facebook.  She is now15.  I haven’t actually hugged her sinceshe was 2.  I still haven’t had anyactual contact with her, but I have written (via facebook) to her adoptivemother, and have talked to her on the phone once.  Things weren’t going smoothly initially, butwe are now on good terms, and I have a way to contact her, which is more than I’vehad in 11 years.  I even have pictures ofher now! My firstborn baby girl is absolutely beautiful!  She is doing better than I could have ever hopedfor.  She is extremely well adjusted, andeven brags about being adopted!  I can’twait until the day when I can finally hug her again!!   
     I havesince gotten married and had 2 kiddos that I get to be a mother to, andwho really hope to someday meet their big sister.  Being a mother, when you’re ready, is thebest thing in the world!  I now have ahusband that accepts me, drama and all, kids who think I’m the best mommy inthe world (not that they have anything to compare to), and the peace in knowingthat I made the absolute best decision for my first daughter.  The years that passed where I didn’t knowanything about her were beyond excruciating. I was always worried and wondering if she was okay.  I couldn’t understand why I was pushedaside.  Now that I know that she hasn’tsuffered at all and is doing amazingly well, I am at peace. 

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Great Letters!

I got this email at work and it made me smile so I figured you guys would like it as well! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.  Not cool.
Sincerely, Unicorns

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood
pumping through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely, Logic

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
Sincerely, The Titanic

Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely, Canada

Dear Yahoo,
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just saying…
Sincerely, Google

Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can’t touch this.
Sincerely, That Little Triangle

Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that Door for the both of us.
Sincerely, Jack
PS, you totally let go.

Dear Girls Who Have Been Dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.
Sincerely, BP
 
Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely, Unimpressed

Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely, Stevie Wonder

Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain…..no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sarah Palin

Dear Batman,
What exactly was your power again?
Sincerely, Superman

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies

Dear Global Warming,
You’re the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely, Al Gore

Dear Ugly People,
You’re welcome.
Sincerely, Alcohol

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because
some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely, The Mayans

Dear American People,
Don’t you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely, Native Americans

Dear Smart Phones,
Please stop spell-checking all of my rude words into nice words. You
piece of shut.
Sincerely, Every Smart Phone User

Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up…
Sincerely, The Girls of Jersey Shore

Dear Man,
It’s kinda cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely, Elephant

Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there’s only room for one fake doctor in this world and I
was here first.
Sincerely, Dr. Pepper
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