WELL THIS WEEKEND WENT REALLY WELL AND I AM NOT AS TIRED AS I USED TO BE. BUT NOW THAT I WANNA GO OUT I CAN’T BECAUSE OF THE MEDICATION. OH WELL RIGHT GUESS I HAVE TO DO WHAT I HAVE TO DO IN ORDER TO GET BETTER OR AT LEAST STABLIZE. SO I WILL FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH ALL MY TIME AND ENERGY. I MIGHT LOOK IN TO GETTING A TREDMILL AND START WALKING ON IT. WE WILL SEE I ALWAYS SEEM TO BE ABLE TO ENTERTAIN MYSELF. I NEED TO FIND HOBBIES THAT WILL KEEP MY BUSY BUT I AM NOT SURE THAT I HAVE EVER HAD ANY. I ALWAYS SEEM TO BE OK BUT NOW THAT I CAN’T GO OUT I AM NOT SURE WHAT I SHOULD DO. SO I JUST WALK AROUND THE HOUSE. MY LITTLE BROTHER IS TEACHING ME TO PLAY WORLD OF WAR CRAFT BUT I AM NOT SURE HOW I LIKE IT. I AM NOT VERY GOOD AT IT TO SAY THE LEAST. I GET BORED WITH IT REALLY FAST BECAUSE I KEEP DYING LOL. MAYBE ONE DAY I WILL GET GOOD AT IT AND NOT KEEP DYING ALL THE TIME, BUT THEN AGAIN MAYBE ME DYING ALL TJE TIME WILL KEEP ME FROM GETTING ADDICTED TO IT LIKE EVERYONE SEEMS TO GET WITH IT. I NEED TO START READING AGAIN I THINK THAT IS ALWAYS A GOOD HOBBY TO HAVE. I JUST FEEL BURNED OUT OF EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW.
JOSH AND I ARE IN OUR USUAL CYCLE AND HE DOESN’T WANNA REALLY TALK TO ME. SO THIS TIME I AM NOT LETTING IT GET TO ME. I AM SAYING OK IF YOU DON’T WANNA TALK TO ME THAT IS COOL AND I AM NOT EVEN REALLY FAKING IT. I AM ACTUALLY PRETTY MUCH OK WITH IT. I AM JUST NOT LETTING HIM GET A REACTION OUT OF ME ON ANYTHING. I THINK THAT ME NOT GIVING A REACTION IS MAKING HIM PUSH HARDER TO TRY AND GET ONE. ALL I KNOW IS I WON’T LET WHAT HE DOES UPSET ME TOO MUCH. I WILL BE ME AND DO ME AND IF HE WANTS TO TALK OR BE AROUND ME HE CAN AND IF NOT THEN THAT IS HIS LOSS. NOW DON’T GET ME WRONG I WANT THIS TO WORK BUT I CAN’T FORCE HIM TO TRY AND I CAN’T MAKE IT WORK ALONE. SO IT REALLY IS ON HIM THIS TIME. I WILL KEEP DOING WHAT HE ASKED ME TO DO AND IF THAT ISN’T ENOUGH THEN OH WELL. I WON’T TOTALLY STOP BEING ME FOR SOMEONE ELSE. I JUST WISH SOMEONE WOULD WAKE HIM UP AND MAKE HIM SEE WHAT HE IS DOING TO ME. I DON’T KNOW THAT HE GETS IT AT TIMES. EVEN THOUGH I AM TRYING NOT TO LET IT GET TO ME IT DOES AT TIMES AND IT MAKES ME FEEL BAD ABOUT THE WHOLE SITUATION.
THE CUBS ARE BECOMING MORE OF A MONSTER EVERYDAY. IT AMAZES ME HOW MANY THINGS THEY DO NOW JUST TO SEE IF THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT. WHEN I LIVED AT THE APARTMENT THEY NEVER GOT INTO THIS MUCH TROUBLE. I GUESS IT IS BECAUSE MY GRANDPARENTS JUST LET THEM DO WHATEVER THEY WANT TO DO. OH WELL IT IS THERE HOUSE AND IF THEY ALLOW IT WHO AM I TO STOP IT. WE FINALLY FIGURED OUT THAT I AM ALLERGIC TO ELINORE. WE AREN’T SURE WHAT IT IS BUT SHE MAKES ME ITCH SO BAD. THE FUNNY THING IS THE OTHER CATS DON’T MAKE ME ITCH SO WE AREN’T SURE WHAT IT IS ABOUT ELINORE. SO NOW I CAN’T PICK HER UP AND THAT MAKES ME SAD BUT SHE ISN’T GETTING NEGLECTED THAT IS FOR SURE. ALL MY GRANDMA DOES HALF THE DAY IS PET HER.
