Have you ever experienced hurt or pain because of the actions or words of another? If you have, you know that often these wounds leave us feeling angry, and bitter. If those wounds were inflicted when we were children, we often carry those feelings around with us for years and years. We end up paying a higher price than the person who hurt us, because the anger and bitterness invades every part of our lives. Instead of feeling optimistic and happy, we feel anger, are upset, and depressed. Instead of looking at the positive, wonderful things that surround us daily, we focus on how we were wronged. With so much focus on how badly we were treated, it becomes very difficult for us to find contentment and peace.
Wonderful changes can take place in your life if you can learn to let go of your grudges.
- Healthier relationships. You will be able to develop relationships that are not clouded by negativity. (I have a better relationship with my family than I ever had before.)
- You mind and soul will become healthier.
- Because of not being so angry all the time, you will feel less stress and anxiety.
- If you have to take blood pressure medicine, you may be able to stop, because your blood pressure will come down.
- You will have fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety, and in some cases less chronic pain. (I had serious problems with irritable bowel syndrome and gastroparisis. My symptoms have almost completely gone away since I have let go of my anger and bitterness.)
- With less mental pain, there will be less feelings of needing to self medicate. This will lower any chances of alcohol or drug abuse.
- Make a commitment to yourself to work on forgiving the person/s who harmed you.
- Recognize the value of forgiveness and how it can positively affect your life.
- Take some time to reflect on the facts of the situation, your reaction and how they have affected your life, your health and well being.
- When you believe you are ready, actively choose to forgive the person who wronged you.
- Move away from being the victim and release the control and power that the person who harmed you has had in your life
As you let go of your feelings of anger and bitterness you will find that you no longer define your life by how you have been harmed.
I know it is not easy to find forgiveness for people who have deeply hurt us. I know that some wrongs against us are harder to let go of than others. I know that sometimes we need help to let things go. In no way, do I want to make it appear that this process is easy, or make light of it in any way. The truth is we must let these things go, even if it takes years for us to accomplish this. I can tell you from my own experience, that once I was able to let go of my anger and bitterness my life changed drastically for the better.
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