Standing Still

I am sure everyone knows the saying Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?  That is sort of how I have been feeling lately.  I feel like I am standing still while watching all of my friends passing me by and living their lives.  It has been hard for me to  watch life pass me by but I also know that I am just where I need to be in life.  It is hard at times to watch everyone I know get married and start their families.  I am not sure why this is so hard for me right now because I don’t want to be married and I don’t think I ever want kids of my own.

I think part of this comes because it is lonely to be the single one with no kids.  Now don’t get me wrong I am 100% happy for my friends that they are happy and doing everything they want to do with their lives.  I guess it all boils down to that it is hard to be the last one.  Some of you know that I am technically married right now but there is no way my husband and I would ever get back together to much has happened between us for it to ever work.

I have to wonder if I will ever get married again or if I will ever even date again.  Right now for the most part I am totally content to be single and not have to answer to anyone.  There are those days when I wish that I wasn’t single and I believe I have those days because my friends are either married or all in relationships so I see couples all the time.  Heck the office I work in everyone but one guy is married so I always seem to be the single one but most of the time that is okay.

I know this post rambled but it was just the thoughts I have had in my head that I knew need to be typed out.  I feel better now that I have typed it.

For everyone who is or has been in my spot what things have helped you?