Letting Go Of Loneliness

 
“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.” 
~ Mother Teresa~

Feeling lonely is awful. I think it is even worse when we are around people and still feel as if we are alone. Usually, it is not the fault of the people around us that we feel that way. Most of the time we are the ones responsible for it. It occurs because of mental and emotional walls we have put up. While we may believe that we have a good reason for creating those walls, it does not take away the loneliness they create.

Often we erect our mental and emotional walls to protect ourselves. We may have started the habit with the best of intentions and in the beginning only used our psychological barriers with certain people. However, we quickly figure out how easy it is to do this any time we feel we are in a situation where we might feel uncomfortable. Eventually, this habit feels so comfortable that we spend all of our time behind our walls. Not only does this prevent people from entering our lives, it prevents us from entering theirs. Leaving us alone behind our walls. What started off as a form of protection, becomes our prison.

Since we are the ones responsible for our loneliness, we have to be the ones responsible for making that feeling go away. That means letting go of the barriers that are keeping us emotionally separated from other people. This is a scary process. Not only are we getting rid of something that has become comfortable to us, we are also allowing ourselves to become vulnerable for the first time in a long while. Fortunately, there are things we can do to make this process a bit easier.

1. Acknowledge what feelings you might be trying to hide. Figure out the origin of those feelings. If they are the result of what someone did to you, are you still angry about it? Letting go of anger is difficult, but it is an important part of breaking down our emotional walls. You can talk about them with someone, or write them out.

2. Be honest with yourself and with other people. If someone asks you how you are doing and you say fine, when you really are not, then you are not being honest. You are also denying someone the opportunity to provide you with support.

3. Trust yourself and other people. For people to earn your trust you have to give them a chance. Trust yourself to know who the right people to place your trust in.

4. Take a few chances. Step out from behind your wall – step out of your comfort zone. You will find that if you can push your limits here and there that you will enjoy life more. The more positive experiences you have when you are not behind your emotional wall, the easier it becomes to resist the urge to put it back up.

5. Be patient with yourself. You did have a good reason to create your wall, and you have lived with it for years. It will take some time before you feel comfortable taking it down completely. Think of each baby step you take as you removing another brick or two from your wall.

I have found that as I have let my own emotional walls down, I get a great deal more enjoyment out of life. Being honest about my feelings and my needs has made me feel as if I have to protect myself less than I used to. I am less stressed because I am not always on the look out for who I have to protect myself from. It also has allowed me to create a different type of social network than I used to have, one that is more positive and encouraging.

Phlegmatic- Sanguine


1. Do you prefer to read the book or see the movie?
I try and read the books before I see the movies but there are some movies like the DaVinci Code that they books are too long for me to get through.
2. What is your favorite holiday and why?
Thanksgiving because people tend to ignore it!   My birthday is around it as well so that helps.
3. Which do you like better – the mountains or the beach?
Neither!  I would rather be at home in bed.
4. If money were no consideration, what vehicle would you drive?
A sweet sports car-A mustang or something like that.
5. What is your favorite cold-weather beverage?
I really don’t have one-I just drink Dr Pepper all year around.
6. How do you communicate most often with your friends: phone, email, text, face-to-face, or Facebook?
I do all of those but I don’t talk on the phone very much because it bugs me.  I spend all day on the phone and the last thing I wanna do is talk on it at night.
7. How do you receive your mail? Mailbox on the porch, at the end of the driveway, down the street, or post office box?
Mailbox at the end of the driveway but I hardly ever get it I usually just get mine off the counter in the house.
8. Of the four basic personality types – sanguine, phlegmatic, melancholic, and choleric – which is your strongest? Which is your least evident? (See definitions below.)
Phlegmatic- Sanguine9. What do you miss the most about being 20?
I am still in my 20’s so I can’t really miss it yet and I hated being 20 because it was when I placed my daughter for adoption it was a super tough year to say the least.
10. How long from the time you get up, does it take you to get ready to walk out the door in the morning?
About 30 to 40 mins depending on how fast I move.
11. Who handles the car maintenance and pays the bills in your family?
I do all of it for myself and where I live now they both do it.
12. For those in the US, how many states have you visited? For those outside the US, how many provinces/other countries have you visited?
10 or more-I went with my husband on his truck (he is a long haul truck driver) for a few weeks here and there so I have been to a few.
Personality type definitions courtesy Wikipedia:

Sanguine

The Sanguine temperament personality is fairly extroverted. People of a sanguine temperament tend to enjoy social gatherings, making new friends and tend to be quite loud. They are usually quite creative and often daydream. However, some alone time is crucial for those of this temperament. Sanguine can also mean very sensitive, compassionate and thoughtful. Sanguine personalities generally struggle with following tasks all the way through, are chronically late, and tend to be forgetful and sometimes a little sarcastic. Often, when pursuing a new hobby, interest is lost quickly when it ceases to be engaging or fun. They are very much people persons. They are talkative and not shy. For some people, these are the ones you want to be friends with and usually they become life long friends.

Choleric

A person who is choleric is a doer. They have a lot of ambition, energy, and passion, and try to instill it in others. They can dominate people of other temperaments, especially phlegmatic types. Many great charismatic military and political figures were cholerics. They like to be leaders and in charge of everything.

Melancholic

A person who is a thoughtful ponderer has a melancholic disposition. Often very considerate and get rather worried when they could not be on time for events, melancholics can be highly creative in activities such as poetry and art – and can become occupied with the tragedy and cruelty in the world. A melancholic is also often a perfectionist. They are often self-reliant and independent; one negative part of being a melancholic is sometimes they can get so involved in what they are doing they forget to think of others.

Phlegmatic

Phlegmatics tend to be self-content and kind. They can be very accepting and affectionate. They may be very receptive and shy and often prefer stability to uncertainty and change. They are very consistent, relaxed, rational, curious, and observant, making them good administrators and diplomats.

MS Tuesdays-First Pill

This week I am going to write about about Gilenya which is the first pill that you can take for MS.  This is super exciting because up and til now the only treatments were shots or an infusion.  This is a pill that you take once a day.  I have been looking for information on the drug but it is hard because it is so new that there isn’t tons for information out there yet.  I did find on WebMd the following information:
Gilenya can have severe toxicity. In clinical trials, side effects linked to Gilenya included:

  • Elevated liver enzymes
  • Macular edema (swelling of the central portion of the retina, causing distorted vision)
  • Elevated blood pressure
  • Shortness of breath
  • Bronchitis
  • Diarrhea
  • Bradycardia (slowing of the heartbeat, seen only upon first treatment. The FDA panel recommended that patients be required to receive their first dose under medical supervision).

I can’t really say that this is any worse side effects than the drug I am on.  All the new treatments are going to have scary side effect that go along with them.  I also found that two people had fatal herpes infections.  They were being treated at 2.5 times the dosage that FDA approved though. 

 Here are a few other sites that have information on them if you are interested.  I hope this was helpful!
http://www.msrc.co.uk/index.cfm/fuseaction/show/pageid/1309
http://www.drugs.com/gilenya.html

New Design & My Latest Infusion

As you should have noticed I got a new design from Jacqui!  I love this one and may keep it longer than the last one lol.  I am finding I get bored easily and love to have new blog designs.  I need to leave it along for awhile because I can’t afford to keep changing it every few months.  So this one will stay for awhile!

I had my infusion on Friday and it went pretty well.  I didn’t take the Benadryl that I usually take because I wanted to see if I could get along with out it.  I am happy to say that I didn’t need it this time.  I did get a headache but that is pretty normal.  The one thing I did notice about this infusion is I was super tired after it.  I hate how I am tired for a few days after and then come Monday or Tuesday I am good to go.  Oh well if that is one of the only things I have to complain about I will deal with it because I am starting to feel better after them again.  It has taken a few months to get back to where I feel better after them.  Now I need to start walking after work so I can lose all the weight I have put on these past few months because I haven’t been able to do much because I was so tired. 

I hope everyone has a great Monday!  I may be missing for a few days because work is super busy for me right now.  I had tons of work left on Thursday and since I am off this coming Friday as well I need to get totally caught up!  Wish me luck!

Wacky Jacqui Designs Sale

I am hosting a sale for Wacky Jacqui’s Designs.  She is my blog designer.  She did the design I have right now and she is working on a new design for me as we speak.  She is super easy to work with and will do whatever you want her to do.  She sends you everything for you to approve before she will use them.  I am a difficult person to please if she can please me enough for me to be getting a second design from her then she is great!  She is offering her biggest package that is usually $65 and she is selling it to people for only $45!!!!!!  This is a great deal!  If you like me design go check her out and tell her I sent you!

The package includes:

The Everything Package    $65.00
• 2 or 3 column design
• Custom background
• Custom header
• Matching font color
• Sidebar titles (unlimited)
• Custom signature
• Custom post divider
• Social network icons
• Convert to a 3 column layout
• Custom blog button
• Matching profile picture
• Navigation bar with text or images
• Matching twitter background
• Favicon
• Deletion of Blogger navigation bar if desired
• Installation
*Can have Post divider/signature combo instead of Custom signature and Custom post divider*

A Friend For Me

 
A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself

Friendship is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. At first I thought about friendship in a negative way. As in, why do I feel like I am one of the few women I know who does not have a best friend? Even when I was growing up, I did not have a best friend until I was in high school. For many reasons, that friendship ended long ago. At one time in my life, I thought that having a best friend was something that was absolutely necessary for someone to have a complete life. I was envious of all those women I saw who had a BFF.

I used to think if only I was more sociable – less of a loner – then I would develop that forever friendship with someone. I worked hard at it to. The results were less than desirable. It seemed like the more I tried, and the more emotionally invested I became, the more disappointed I was when that person could not live up to the extremely high expectations I had of them.

Something has dawned on me lately. If my friendship needs are being met by several wonderful women, where is it written that I have to have that best friend I coveted for so long? I realized after some personal struggles over the last few weeks that there are several women in my life who fulfill that BFF role. Each one has qualities that I admire, wisdom that they share, and a caring heart that shows in everything they do. Each one has different personalities, experiences, and quirks. Combine them all together and they make the ultimate best friend.

My point is this, if you are anything like me and feel that you are lacking something socially, take stock of who you have in your life. Maybe together, they make that complete person that you are looking for.