1.I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear yourcomputer history if you die.
2.Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’rewrong.
3.I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4.There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5.How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6.Was learning cursive really necessary?
7.Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I knowhow to get out of my neighborhood.
8.Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the persondied.
9.I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10.Bad decisions make good stories.
11.You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when youknow that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of theday.
12.Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want tohave to restart my collection…again.
13.I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I wantto save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not makeany changes to.
14..I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answerwhen they call.
15.I think the freezer deserves a light as well..
16.I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17.I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
18.I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19.How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nodand smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
20.I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to preventa jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21.Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and youcan wear them forever.
22.Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not knowwhat time it is.
23.Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in apocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’dbet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, inabout 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
24.The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 andthe first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men torealize that their brain is also important.
(Ladies……QuitLaughing!!)
Healthe past, live the present, dream the future.
Enjoylife!!!
