Month: March 2011

What Would You Do?

I thought about skipping my guest post this week. My mind certainly is not as focused as I would like it to be. However, I decided to follow through with it. The main reason why is I need the distraction. My father’s death has been very hard on me.

Usually, I am the one presenting some ideas, and/or quotes – giving you my take on them – hoping you will like what I have to say. What I share is based on my own experiences, and how I have grown, and changed from them. Right now things are different. I am encountering something I never have experienced before. The feeling of loss, and grief from the death of my father.
I have absolutely no idea what I can do – if anything – to ease the pain in my heart. I am clueless about how I can help ease my mother’s heart wrenching pain. I honestly have no idea what to do.
I am turning to you, hoping you can give me some advice that might help me get through the difficult days ahead.
How do other people deal with feelings of grief, and loss?
How do you provide emotional support to someone who is hurting as much as you are?
Does the emotional pain go away?

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Meet Me On Monday


1.  Crunchy or soft tacos?
Soft!!!  I should eat crunchy ones because I shouldn’t have gluten but I don’t like crunchy ones at all.
2.  Do you scrapbook?
I do.  I have even scrapbooked my cats.
3.  Do you take any daily medications?
Ya I take a few things daily.  I take: Baclofen, Zoloft, Loritab and then Lunsta most nights so I can sleep.
4.  What is your favorite sound?
I love any and all music!
5.  Where were you born?
At St. Marks Hospital in Salt Lake City Utah.
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NES & Health Update

Another week down and I have actually done really well this week when it comes to eating at night.  Friday and Saturday nights where the only nights that I ate so that is a huge improvement from where it has been.  I am still on the Slim Fast diet and it isn’t going super well.  I haven’t weighed myself so I am not sure where I am at right now but I think I am going to weigh myself first thing in the morning and see where I am at and use that as my starting weight.  I hope that I can start losing the weight but I don’t really hold out much hope of it.  I know I need to start exercising again but with the MS as bad as it had gotten I am not sure how I will do working out.  I am going to try and do the 30 day shred again tomorrow and see how far I get before I feel like I am dying.

I am so tired of the MS and always being sick.  I am 26 and yet I am always at home because I am to tired or weak to do anything.  I am just tired of being tired and in pain all the time.  I know that it is just part of the disease but it is getting old quickly.  In June we are going to Yellowstone and I am not sure how much I am going to be able to do.  I am scared that I am not going to be able to do all the hikes with my family.  I will be so sad if I end up having to sit out some of it.  I love Yellowstone and all the hiking but if the MS stays like it is I am not going to be able to much of anything.  I am holding out hope that things will be okay and I will be able to do what I want to do.  My hands are super numb right now and I think I am getting carpel tunnel which sucks but just another issue I have to over come.

I hope everyone had a great weekend and will have a great week!
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If You Don’t Like It . . .

I have decided that I am done playing the number game.  I am going back to blogging for me.  I am not going to worry about how many people read my blog or how many followers I have.  I would rather have people follow me that actually read what I write instead of tons of followers who don ‘t read what I write.  I am also not going to follow blogs unless they appeal to me.  I got so caught up in getting my number of followers higher that I forgot why I blog.  If I lose some followers then oh well such is life.  I am back to blogging for me!  Oh and if people I write about here read it then that is oh them!  I am not going to censor what I right because it may hurt peoples feelings!  If you don’t like it then don’t read it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am also thinking about changing the name to My Life . . . My Stories.  My private blog was named that and since I have deleted it I am thinking that it is a perfect name for this blog.  What does everyone think about that????
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Rambling

I am finding that I am in funk lately.  I just came seem to find things to write about and some days even if I have things to write I don’t feel like writing them.  I hate when I have days or weeks like this.  I can sit for hours and stare at a blank screen and have no idea how to get the thoughts in my head out of my head.  I am just so tired of things in my life that I not sure what to do to make them go away or at least not bug me as much as they have been.  I am just tired of a lot of things in my life anymore.  I am so tired of being sick and not being able to do much because I get tired so quickly.  Like Saturday my Grandma and I went shopping and we were only gone a few hours by the time we got home I could barely move because I was in so much pain.  I am just tired always being sick and spending so much time and money at doctors offices.  Hell I live at home because I can’t afford rent because of the doctor bills!  I guess I am just tired of this disease and it taking my life away from me.  I am only 26 is shouldn’t have to deal with this stupid disease.  Hell no one should have to deal with this disease.  It might be easier if I could plan on what was going to be wrong during a day but every morning when I get up and I am like “well what is going to work right today?”.  I am always waiting for something to go wrong because you never know what this disease will do.

I also am having a rough time being single right now.  It sucks when I have times like this.  People around me are going to say see you aren’t okay being single.  What they don’t get is that some days are tough and it tends to get lonely but more than not I am totally satisfied being alone.  I hate when I feel like this because I know all too well that I am better off alone.  In time this all will pass or at least I hope it will pass!!
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