Divorced

Lonely

Lonely

I wrote a few months ago or so about my divorce being final and how it made me feel.  I said in that post that I am okay being single which is totally true but I also get lonely.  Now just because I get lonely doesn’t in anyway mean that I am not okay with being single.  In fact I would rather be lonely than be in a relationship.

I guess I need to explain what I mean when I say I am lonely.  I look at everyone in my life and they all have a significant other in their lives and I wonder from time to time if I am missing out.  These thoughts usually come at night when I should be sleeping.  Even though I get these thoughts from time to time I in no way have the desire or energy to try and find someone to date.

I don’t think it matters how happy you are being single you will still have days where you wish you had someone else in your life.  I also am lonely because I don’t have many friends in my life.  Now most of that has to do with me and what I have decided I want in my life.  I went through the people in my life last year and cut out the people who I knew needed to be out of my life.  I didn’t write about it here because I wasn’t ready and I am still not ready to talk about it.  I honestly don’t know if I will ever be ready to talk about it and I also won’t put other people’s business out there on my blog.

Anyway this post was more for me to get thoughts out of my head than for anyone else.  I also have a post coming up this week about how I feel about dating and how I hard it is to meet people in this day and age.

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Its Official. . .

Official

It’s Official. . .I am finally divorced.

This post has been sitting in my drafts for over a week now and everything I open it and read what I have written I delete it all.  I have had posts in the past that have been hard for me to write and get written down but I never thought that this post would be one of them.  I am not sure how many people know but my husband and I have been separated for years.  In fact it has been so long I can’t even remember how many years it has really been.

We have spent more time apart than we ever did while we were married.  Anyway’s as of June 27th I was officially divorced.   It is crazy to think that I am now starting a new chapter of my life and I am not sure where it will take me but I am interested in finding out.  Most people know tell me that I can date and do things like that and well I am pretty sure I am never going to date again.  I am truly happy being single for the most part.

That being said while I am happy to finally have it done and over with it is also bittersweet and scary.  I am scared because like I said before I am not sure where life will go from here.  I am ready for the ride but scared at the same time if that makes senses.  It is bittersweet for me because I never saw this as an ending for myself.  I never saw my life taking this turn but I am slowly accepting it and moving on with where life will take me next.

I found out some news last week that I am still processing about the whole situation so be on the lookout for that post because it makes me wonder if it was even legal and things like that.

 

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