This is something I posted on my private blog but thought that maybe people out there can relate to what I am saying.  This post really isn’t about MS but it is something that I am struggling with right now because of the MS and people not understanding my current mood.

I wish people could understand how it feels to one day be able to do something and then the next day not be able to do it.  People just don’t seem to understand the amount of frustration and anger that it causes to never know what the next day will bring.  It is so hard right now for me to except that I am sick and getting sicker.  I hate that I am never going to know from day to day what this disease will bring.  I know people think I am crazy, mean and or bitchy but if they want to know what it is like lets randomly make them not able to do things and then change it at random times.  I really wish everyone could experience it that way they would know what it feels like and how frustrating it is not knowing what the next day is going to bring.  It is so hard going to bed not knowing how you will feel when you wake up or what you will be able to do.

People in my life assume that because I am up and walking around that I am okay but what they can’t see is the pain I am in or the fact that my feet are numb.  I wish I had a disease that you could see so that people wouldn’t think I am lying to them about how I feel.  I don’t understand why it is so hard to understand that I am in pain and I hurt on a daily basis.  I also don’t get why people don’t seem to get the I am sick and not lazy.  If I could work two jobs and move out of my Grandparents house I would in a heart beat but it is all I can do to work the job that I have now.  I hate living there and I don’t think people understand that.  I moved out before because I couldn’t stand it there and I am back to that point again.  No one will ever understand just how much I hate being there but because of the huge amount of doctors bills I have and will always have because of the MS I have no option but to live there because I don’t make enough to pay doctor bills and rent.

This week I am going to talk about Copaxone and my experiences with it.  Copaxone is given in shot form that you take every day.  It goes just under the skin.  It is composed a amino acids that may act as a decoy so that your body will attack the drug and not your nervous system.  This drug has been around since about 1996 and seen as a safe drug. Here are a list of possible side effects from the drug:

• pain, redness, swelling, itching, or lump in the place where you injected glatiramer
• weakness
• flushing
• depression
• abnormal dreams
• pain in the back, neck, or any other part of the body
• severe headache
• loss of appetite
• diarrhea
• nausea
• vomiting
• weight gain
• swelling of the hands, feet, ankles, or lower legs
• purple patches on skin
• joint pain
• confusion
• nervousness
• crossed eyes
• difficulty speaking
• shaking hands that you cannot control
• sweating
• ear pain
• painful or changed menstrual periods
• vaginal itching and discharge
• urgent need to urinate or defecate
• tightness in muscles
• white patches in the mouth

I personally have never seen this many possible side effects.   I can tell you when I took it I remember the injection site being red and swollen and that is all the side effects I had.  I hated these shots for a number of reasons but the many one is that I hated to give myself a shot everyday.  I hate giving shots to myself.  I would sit there for hours trying to talk myself into doing it.  It would finally get to the point where someone else would have to do it for me.  This drug didn’t do anything for me at all.  I felt like I did when I wasn’t on anything.  I know for some people they love this drug but for me personally it did nothing.

That is all I really have to say about the drug.  Please don’t base your decisions on which treatment to use sully on my experiences with the drug.  Before I do any treatment I always do research on it and see what people who are on it say about it.  I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving.  As always I am looking for ideas to write about so if you have something you would like to see please leave me a comment and I will write about it!
Sources
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glatiramer_acetate
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0000225