I watched the Lifetime movie called “Pregnancy Pact” last night and it really got me thinking about teen pregnancy and about my story of getting pregnant and placing the baby for adoption. I decided that I will give you that story today since it is on my mind and I am having trouble writing my post on the MS. Don’t worry I am still working on it. It is just going to take a little longer than what I thought it was going to.
Anyway here is my story.
I was 19 and going to school up at Weber State University. I was a sophomore and going to school for nursing. I was living in the apartment style dorms and lets just say the year started out bad. I should have just moved off campus like Carrie my roommate from my freshman year. The first apartment I was in that year was with freshman and lets just say it was hard because they wanted to party and I had a really tough class that I needed to study for so after things got really bad I asked to move. In the mean time I had started to see a guy and lets just say that I didn’t wait long before I slept with him for the first time.
I moved into a new apartment with two girls that turned out to be drug addicts and one of them ended up over dosing the day before Thanksgiving but I am getting ahead of myself. After I moved in that apartment I got pregnant. I found out because I was so sick that I went to the hospital to see what was wrong with me. They ran a pregnancy test and told me I was pregnant. I already knew I was at that point but I just didn’t want to admit to it. In fact I knew the night it happened that I was.
The rest of that semester is still fuzzy to me. I can remember telling my grandma the night I got out of the hospital on the phone and she basically told me that I should place the baby. The funny thing about that is that I already knew I was going to do that I just didn’t want to admit it to anyone else for a long time. I started going to LDS Family Services because it was free and they had a support group for girls that were pregnant and not married.
After the semester ended I moved home because I couldn’t deal with the stress of school and my roommate over dosing anymore. While I was at home I was working two jobs and taking an online class. In January I started looking for profiles of couples that were looking to adopt. The first time I looked I picked out two couples and brought them home to see what my family thought. This is where the story get weird to say the least. Come to find out my grandma had talk to my social worker and asked her to pull a certain profile so that I could look at them. One of the profiles that I brought home was the family that she picked out. I didn’t know that until she told me after I delivered and everything was done.
In the mean time they did a blood test at the doctors office and they told me that the baby could possible have either down syndrome or what they call Trisomy 18. Because of that blood test I had to go up to the University of Utah and have a longer ultra sound to rule out both of those. After we got done with that the chances of it went done some and I decided that anymore testing could just wait until she was born.
After I picked them I made up a really cute basket of stuff for them and sent it to announce to them that I had picked them. Well come to find out they had a gotten a baby in March and the agency didn’t know if they could place my daughter with them as well. I told my social worker that I still really felt that is where she was supposed to go and that she needed to try everything that she could to make it work. After a few weeks of going back and forth and asking the other birth mom if it was ok with her they finally decided that she could be placed with them.
This was such a relief for me. After we got that decision we started the process of meeting with them and getting to know them. While this was all going on I was getting huge and super tired of being pregnant. I was due July 7th and it was hot and tiring be pregnant during the summer. I went in to the doctors a week before I was due and he said that if I didn’t go into labor on my own before my due date he would induce me on my due date.
Well the morning I was supposed to be induced my water broke and lets just say I knew she would come on her own time and she waited until the last possible second to do it on her own. I was in labor for about 12 hours or so. When it was time to have her I had the adoptive mom in the room so that she could see her being born. They ended up having to use the vacumn thing to get her out because she was stuck on my tail bone and I was too tired to keep pushing.
Two days after I had her I signed the papers and said my goodbyes to the baby that I named Gracelynn but they latter changed to Brita. There isn’t a day that goes by that she doesn’t pop into my head and I just wonder is she happy?? Did I do the right thing???? Will she hate me one day because of the choice I made to place her for adoption???? I hope one day I will get to meet her and get to know her but I also know that it is totally up to her and I will have to live with her decision.
This is a really long post so I will post part two of this story tomorrow and get into why I made the decision to place her and things like that.
Hope everyone is having a great Monday. If you have any questions feel free to leave a comment and I will answer all of them!!!
18 Comments on Pregnancy Pact
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Wow. I can't imagine having to go through all of that so young. Very brave.
that is an amazing story, truly could be on lifetime…Im always amazed at parents who, like you are able to put the babies needs first and do what they know is right at the time, even though it must be such a dufficult decision to make…you are a strong lady:)
peace
I popped by your blog after reading a comment you left somewhere else and am glad I did.
This is an amazing story – I look forward to reading the next part.
Truly remarkable story! i watched the end of that show.
What that one girl did to raise awareness of the situation and how she affected others was so cool.
The ending was spectacular.
You are brave for posting this. I enjoyed reading about it. You are a brave woman for giving your baby away.
Thanks for sharing.
My niece, Jessie, and her husband desperately wanted a baby, but Jessie had had issues from a very early age, and couldn't conceive. We were praying so hard for her to get pregnant, but God didn't answer that prayer. Instead, he started a series of events that ended up with Jessie discussing with a coworker her desire to have a baby and couldn't, and how badly she wanted a baby. That coworker knew of a young lady who was giving her baby up, and gave Jess the name of the case worker. Of course, (because God knew all along) the girl chose Jessie and David to be the parents, and now we have little Madalyn in our lives for six years now, and she is just the pride and joy of my neice and her husband, and my brother and sister in law so very much love their precious little granddaughter.
You made the right decision. It brings tears to my eyes thinking of your sacrifice, but it also brings tears to my eyes for the happiness you gave little Gracelynn's new parents.
~M
YOU DONT KNOW HOW BAD I WOULD LOVE TO START A FAMILY WITH YOU AND GIVE YOU A DAUGHTER THAT WE CAN LOVE TOGETHER AND RAISE SO IF SOMETHING DID HAPPEN TO YOU I WOULD HAVE SOMETHING TO REMEMBER YOU BY THAT IS WHY I WANT A KID WITH YOU
I'm glad to read your story. I was 27 and pregnant, but decided to keep my son. However, I did go through all the things you did…well, not far enough to actually look at couples or pick them.
Thanks for the story, brought tears to my eyes. I watch this show called Teen Mom and the couple I admire the most is the couple that placed their baby up for adoption against their families wishes. I bawled through that whole episode. I got pregnant in grade 12 and ended up graduating from a small school for pregnant & parenting teens when my daughter was a year. I wonder sometimes if she would have a better life if I didn't keep her … actually, I KNOW she would have had a "better" life, and it's that guilt that gets me sooooo down sometimes. I've done my best and we do great now, but it's been a long hard road. She's only 12 too and am pretty sure it gets harder … You made the right decision for your situation, nobody can judge or understand until their walking (or waddling) in those shoes .. Thanks again for the blog, I'm glad I found you 🙂
I just have to say how brave you were to give that baby a chance at life. You are amazing!
Thank you for sharing your story!
Was the movie good? I live just south of gloucester and remember all that non-sense…
Did I miss it? Did you say whether she was born with any disabilities?
That was a tough decision but I'm glad you chose adoption rather than abortion. Some day who knows, you may meet her yet. Where there's life, there is hope.
Congrats on your SITS day!
Wow, you are so brave. Thank you for posting this. x
While making the decision to give a baby up for adoption canNOT be easy, I always think it's a brave choice. A healthy choice. A choice that shows that the birth mother understands where she is in life and what she may or may not be able to offer another human being at that point in time. Off to read the second part of the story now. 🙂
Thank you for sharing this Margaret. Your baby girl will thank you some day. You did the right thing. You were a young, single woman with no realy way to support this child. Giving her a stable home was the most loving,self-LESS thing you could do. You truly put her first, and that is the greatest gift of all.
Happy SITS day.
It takes a brave, not selfish woman to give up her baby, to allow her baby to have a successful life with another family.
You are a good person.
LisaDay
What a tough decision. I admire your choice. Thanks for sharing your story.
Oh man, this post made me cry. It's beautiful.