Libby’s Story Of Meeting Her Birth Mom

I was adopted when I was 3 weeks old (which is a story in itself.) I always knew I was adopted so I can’t remember the first time my parents told me. I just always knew. At five years old I told my parents I wanted to meet my biological mother and they told me that I wasn’t old enough and that when I was 18 I could meet her if I still had the desire. I didn’t want to meet her then because I didn’t love my family, I just always had a need for it. I felt like something was missing. Even though I had the most amazing family that anyone could have ever asked for. I loved my family so much and they were fabulous parents and did everything for me but I needed to know where I came from. It may sound weird to those of you who aren’t adopted but you just always have this feeling like you aren’t where you belong whether you have the best adopted parents in the world or not. You really can’t explain the feeling. It’s not something that anyone but adoptee’s will understand ever. I just wanted to know who I looked like and who I sounded like and all that good stuff that non-adopted people can see every.single.day of their life. Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t change my situation for anything because I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t been adopted. I love my parents and the family who have raised me and taken care of me. They have been great and will do anything for me even still to this day. Being adopted has not defined who I am either. I am, me because of the people who raised me and loved me and made sure I was taken care of every day of my life. I love who I am and what I have become. To be adopted shouldn’t affect how you live your life either. I lived my life everyday happily and lovingly with the family that was chosen for me. My parents wanted to make sure that I always knew that I was adopted because they didn’t want me to find out later in life and resent them for not telling me sooner, which unfortunately I probably would have because to me it is a huge deal that you know. I would never have guessed I was adopted either because I look shockingly like my adopted parents. Whenever we’d tell people I was adopted they would never believe us because we look so much alike.

I met my Biological mother on my 18^th Birthday in 2000, I was a senior in high school. I asked my parents the summer before I turned 18 if we could find her and meet her in October for my birthday. They of course said yes because they knew how important to me it was. But I also made it VERY clear that they would always be my parents and that would never change no matter what happened. So my parents contacted the adoption agency they had used so many years ago to find her. Well she had not been in contact with the agency since 1984; which was 2 years after I was born. So my parents had to hire a private investigator to find her. They didn’t know how long it would take or where she would be now. In August we got a phone call from the Agency saying they had found her and contacted her to tell her that I wanted to meet her and that she had written them back and said she would love to meet me! I was ecstatic. They had all her contact information and gave it to my parents. That evening my mom told me they had found her and she told me what she knew and then she handed me a letter. A letter that my biological mother had written to me the day I was born. She had written one to my parents and one to me to be given to me when my parents felt the time was right. I had never been so excited in my entire life. After my mom and I had finished reading both of the letters together, she gave me her phone number so I could call her. I had so many different feelings flying around in my mind and body at that point I can’t remember what sticks out the most. All I know is that I couldn’t wait to call her. We live in the Pacific Northwest and she lives in Georgia so the time difference is 3 hours so I had to call her right away if I wanted to talk to her that day and of course I did. So after a couple times of chickening out on dialing the phone I called her and when she picked up the phone I had never been so happy. We talked for a long time and I can just remember thinking oh my gosh I am actually talking to my biological mother. It was completely surreal. I found out I had a half-brother who was almost 6 and I was so excited. We exchanged e-mail addresses and I gave her my phone number. We also made a plan for her and my brother to fly here to Oregon to meet.

So on October 11, 2000 I met my biological mother for the very first time. That day was one of the very best days of my entire life. My parents let me stay out of school that day which was a Wednesday so that I could go to the airport and pick her up with them. This was Pre-9/11 so you could still go to the gate without a ticket so my mom, dad and I all me them at the gate when they got off the airplane. I was so excited and nervous… I remember thinking that it was taking forever for them to get there. But when the people started getting off I ran up to the door and was just waiting. I had only seen a couple pics of them and they were a little old so I didn’t know if I would recognize them but as soon as I saw her I knew it was her. We just stopped and hugged and we just stared at each other and cried for a while. It was amazing. We have pictures of our first meeting in the airport but it was before we had digital cameras and I don’t have them scanned into my computer so I don’t have any to show you, SORRY! I wish I did because my mom captured some very amazing moments in those pictures. I can tell you that it was a very emotional reunion. But it was amazing. She spent 10 days here and it was awesome. We had a blast together. We still keep in contact and see each other as much as we can since we live across the country from each other. But I cannot imagine my life without her and my half-brother in my life. They have been there for all the big things in my life since we met; my high school graduation, my wedding, and a couple weeks after my son’s birth.

They are an extended part of my family and my parents and her get along so well. They love each other and my parents even consider her part of their extended family. I am so glad that I got the opportunity to meet her and have a relationship with her. I wouldn’t change anything about my life now, except maybe that we didn’t live so far apart so we could see each other more often. I am truly blessed with such an amazing family. So to all of those people out there who are adopted or have given up a child for adoption have hope that someday you will get the opportunity to meet because it CAN happen.