This is something I posted on my private blog but thought that maybe people out there can relate to what I am saying. This post really isn’t about MS but it is something that I am struggling with right now because of the MS and people not understanding my current mood.
I wish people could understand how it feels to one day be able to do something and then the next day not be able to do it. People just don’t seem to understand the amount of frustration and anger that it causes to never know what the next day will bring. It is so hard right now for me to except that I am sick and getting sicker. I hate that I am never going to know from day to day what this disease will bring. I know people think I am crazy, mean and or bitchy but if they want to know what it is like lets randomly make them not able to do things and then change it at random times. I really wish everyone could experience it that way they would know what it feels like and how frustrating it is not knowing what the next day is going to bring. It is so hard going to bed not knowing how you will feel when you wake up or what you will be able to do.
People in my life assume that because I am up and walking around that I am okay but what they can’t see is the pain I am in or the fact that my feet are numb. I wish I had a disease that you could see so that people wouldn’t think I am lying to them about how I feel. I don’t understand why it is so hard to understand that I am in pain and I hurt on a daily basis. I also don’t get why people don’t seem to get the I am sick and not lazy. If I could work two jobs and move out of my Grandparents house I would in a heart beat but it is all I can do to work the job that I have now. I hate living there and I don’t think people understand that. I moved out before because I couldn’t stand it there and I am back to that point again. No one will ever understand just how much I hate being there but because of the huge amount of doctors bills I have and will always have because of the MS I have no option but to live there because I don’t make enough to pay doctor bills and rent.
3 Comments on MS Tuesdays
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I am so sorry for your pain. It is one of the most frustrating things to feel like no-one understands. Though, I don't understand your pain, I will keep you in my prayers.
My heart goes out to you!
That is hard that people do not understand. It is the MOST hardest and hurtful and painful when its family and close friends whom do it to you.
While I do not have MS, I possibly have fibro and or OA, was pre dx last year, then moved to fl. While here in fl., it's a tiny bit better than in the colder climate I was in, I still suffer daily. And I get the because "they" don't "see" it it isn't real. Though I been suffering many years and have new symptoms of left leg dragging, and not just a few random numb toe, or leg its both whole feet often now, and other things too.
I wish you well, I been reading your posts as they come to my inbox, and comment as I can. I will not be able to comment for a while I think on any blogs đ lol since I have hand surgery on monday. But I will keep reading.