I try to keep my rants off of this blog but I think people that have MS need to see that some days having this disease totally sucks! I don’t want people to think that because I tend to not post about those days that they don’t exist. Right now I am struggling because I have to except how I am feeling as the new normal and I don’t want to. No one wants to know that this is as good as it gets. I am at the point right now where I need to except it and I don’t want to. I want to tell the disease to go fly a kite and go away. I am 25 years old and I don’t want to be dealing with this disease!!!!! I have knowing that this disease takes so much away from people who have it. I look at others with the disease and get mad at myself because the are worse off than I am and yet I am still bitching and pissed off because of how I feel. I know I should be grateful that I am not more disabled but instead I am pissed off that I have to deal with this disease at all. I was doing so well at staying positive with how things are going and now I am back to when I got diagnosed and not dealing well with it all. I want to bury my head in the sand and just ignore it but I also know that I can’t do that. Part of this I am sure is just being 25 and being to damn stubborn for my own good. I will never totally except this disease! I know I can’t give up on treatment since it working but hell I am tired of going once a month and having it done. I am tired of worrying about PML and the disease getting worse. I am tired of people hearing about my diagnoses and being scared to date me or even talk to me. I mean good hell it isn’t going to kill them hell it might not even kill me. I am tired of all the crap that comes along with this damn disease. I am so tired of being in pain and my doctor not giving me what I need to deal with the pain. I am tired of being on all the medications that I am on to treat how the MS has made me feel. I guess it boils down to the fact that I am tired of the disease!
Okay I am going to leave it at that. Hopefully get this out will help me move on from this point!
3 Comments on MS Rant
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Hey Margaret! Not sure what to say beyond the cliche' sympathetic responses, but I just want to let you know that I love you and I wish I could be there for you more. You amaze Margaret!
I understand having to get used to a new normal. I understand getting tired of treatments and meds. I understand diseases interfering with relationships.
I wish that I could do or say something that would help ease you through this rough spot. Just know I do think about you and pray for you every day.
I completely understand everything you are saying here , and it sucks! this disease is horrible! I am tired of being in pain constantly! Feeling sick all the time! The fatigue! Agh!!
I had mt symptoms 4 years before my DX , and its been horrible! I want to feel normal again, and do the things I loved, and enjoyed so much before this disease took over my life, and now I have a disability! I have a hard time excepting that the way I feel now is the new normal. IT SUCKS! It doesn't get better with age either. I am very happy to know that I found your blog. Its helps a lot to know I am not alone, and someone else understands completely!
Thank you Margaret
I will always keep you in my thoughts and prayers 🙂
One Love