This is something I posted on my private blog but thought that maybe people out there can relate to what I am saying.  This post really isn’t about MS but it is something that I am struggling with right now because of the MS and people not understanding my current mood.

I wish people could understand how it feels to one day be able to do something and then the next day not be able to do it.  People just don’t seem to understand the amount of frustration and anger that it causes to never know what the next day will bring.  It is so hard right now for me to except that I am sick and getting sicker.  I hate that I am never going to know from day to day what this disease will bring.  I know people think I am crazy, mean and or bitchy but if they want to know what it is like lets randomly make them not able to do things and then change it at random times.  I really wish everyone could experience it that way they would know what it feels like and how frustrating it is not knowing what the next day is going to bring.  It is so hard going to bed not knowing how you will feel when you wake up or what you will be able to do.

People in my life assume that because I am up and walking around that I am okay but what they can’t see is the pain I am in or the fact that my feet are numb.  I wish I had a disease that you could see so that people wouldn’t think I am lying to them about how I feel.  I don’t understand why it is so hard to understand that I am in pain and I hurt on a daily basis.  I also don’t get why people don’t seem to get the I am sick and not lazy.  If I could work two jobs and move out of my Grandparents house I would in a heart beat but it is all I can do to work the job that I have now.  I hate living there and I don’t think people understand that.  I moved out before because I couldn’t stand it there and I am back to that point again.  No one will ever understand just how much I hate being there but because of the huge amount of doctors bills I have and will always have because of the MS I have no option but to live there because I don’t make enough to pay doctor bills and rent.